Dear Blog,

Its mi again. The time nw is 11.47am. Started late todae coz this morning abit busy. So now already start to want eng liao. Still got sum wrk on hand, but thn want take my own sweet time to finish it. Till now I still didnt reallie tok to ah ger. Still dun reallie feel liek tokkin to her. Sae mi xiao qi ye hao, childish ye hao, but thn I am like tat. I will icqin Esther, thn she's said yar.. ther's no frewns at wrk.. but thn i tot ah ger is different. But thn seems like she's no exception. Once we leave this place, ther is no such thing as frewns between us liao. She earn her money, i earn mine. As if she will help mi in future whn i need frm her. True loh. Schooling frewns are more frewns loh.
Now time is 1.30pm. todae order lunch in coz Miii fever, not feeling well so guess she doesnt wan go under the sun. I continue to be cold towards her. Its not i purposely de. but thn i just no mood to go entertain her. she told mi she wan tender resignation todae. i told her to go ahead. i mean why bother tellin mi. I felt damn betrayed loh.
nw 4.03pm liao. the dae actualie passes reasonably fast. Errmm.. intend to leave on the dot todae too. Tml xiang sae he wans make a trip home, and wans mi to follow him home aso. His sis goin Holland.. Actualie quite nice hor.. tat time just went USA for 2year plus, thn just came back a couple of wks bac, thn nw her company sendin her to Holland liao.. envy ah.. i aso wan.. So later after wrk i tinkin go meet him at Hougang Mall, maybe pick up a farewell present for her, thn go home help mummy do sum stuff and be her good ger..
Till now i still not tokin to ah ger. she told Miii i angry with her. Miii cum dwn ask mi wat happen, thn i dun wan tok bout it.. Well.. nth more to be said. Wats done is done. wats decided is decided. Nxt time i aso haf to be selfish. Just tink of myself, and never others..
5.38pm liao.. actualie is fang gong time liao. but thn noone shows ani signs of leavin.. so i aso dun dare leave.. damn jia lat hor.. reach fang gong time liao dun dare go.. wat sort of nonsense is tis.. haizz.. damn jia lat.. how how.. mr te cum dwn sae my tooling and ah ger tooling got problem. thn ask us go up see mould. knw his pattern too well liao, he is wan ask us up thn tok to us de.. he knw mi and ah ger like tat.. i thn dun wan tok.. nth to tok bout. another 5min haf pass.. ermm.. wan leave leh.. if not later go walk ard liao reach home too late mummy not hapie.. coz cant do tings for her.. haizz.. nth to do liao still haf to stay in office dun do wat. damn bo liaozz..

Dear blog,

I am now in the office.. Todae is a Mondae, a rainy mondae morning.. time nw is 8.53am.. but thn my PC clock is i tink 9min faster.. Well.. hw nice is it if I can stay home and sleep todae.. BenBen didnt wakie go school todae.. Guess their holis started liao.. Hw nice.. Actualie its getting quite boring at work. I dun like tat boriness at wrk.. I realie feel like resigin, coz i wanted sumthing challanging, sumting alwaes makin my dae busy.. once I'm busy, my dae aso pass by faster.. like now, the time realie crawls..
Anywae, did I mention in my last log tat I failed my TP?? I tink I did lah.. but thn nemind, i didnt expect myself to pass either.. My nxt test date book liao.. its on the 28th July.. Does this date ring any bell? Well, its a dae before my bdae.. So if I reallie pass, this will be the best bdae present I'm goin to recieve liao.. thou I tink I can make it this time round liao.. but thn i aso dun wan be overly confident.. thn I got all my lessons date liao.. after calculating all the dates, this retest will cost mi about 500over bucks.. actualie if its onli 500bucks, tink i can tender my resignation on 1st june, thn wrk till end of june.. thn like tat, with may + june's salary, will haf 2k plus.. after taking awae the 500, and all my expenses, i tink i is can make it liao de.. over the wkend actualei wan discuss with xiang de.. but thn it slip my mind..
huiyu resignin end of this mth.. actualie i tinkin once she left, maybe i will be more busy, coz i might haf to mroe or less cover up her wrk.. but thn if this is not true, thn i aso got no idea hw am i goin to boring 2mth here.. but thn may actualie passess pretty fast.. too many pple's bdae, so alot of events to look forward to, and aso got my drivin test(took 2 daes leave;so tat is a damn short wk for mi..) and aso all the mother daes celebration n stuff like tat.. actualie realie quite eventfull loh.. tis wk got no events leh.. nth much to look forward to, except pay dae, wich is end of tis week.. hehe~* so realie hope time will pass faster ah~*
Okie.. start doin abit of wrk liao.. time is onli 9.30am.. after I have updated this customer into the system, i wonder wat other stuff i can do.. seems like wat i can do is nth much liao leh.. later got to go dig sum stuff out to do.. wonder wat xiang is doin.. till nw never sms mi.. tink he must be hiding in his bunk, slpin.. ns life nw like veri hao ming liao.. duno todae will meet him anot leh.. mondae he is dun haf nite off de.. but thn he aso bo chup de.. but thn duno leh.. i duno wher shld i go after wrk leh..
Todae on my wae to wrk.. I kept tinkin about wrk.. I dun realie like wat i'm doing now. I'm tinkin of resigning, thn go get those part time sales job.. like sum cake shop or sell clothes de or wat.. coz i all along do sales, i am okie with it de.. so i tinkin maybe i shld go bac to sales for the time being.. i might be happier.. ermm.. as for pay wise, i aso dun tink will get ani lower.. my take home onli 1k plus abit.. if i go into sales, i believe aso ard the same de.. the onli ting is haf to wrk on sats and sundae.. tats the onli draw back.. but thn actualie off during the wkdaes aso not tat bad mah rite.. less pple ard, thn got more time to myself..
now 10.42am.. i spent the last hour searchin for an email leh.. but thn tink for tis issue, tat time due to time constriants, there is no time for ani emails.. haizz.. nemind, wait till my COO come bac thn see wat he saes ba..
11.29am liao.. the past hour didint do aniting muchie.. ermm..
now 1.38 liao wor.. like tat 2 hr pass liao.. bt one hr was lunchie.. haizz.. now i deng fang gong liao.. boring ah.. reale boring.. juz now go frewnster ther seesee looklook.. thn saw tat yk got new pics wor.. thn go in seesee looklook abit.. he like didnt change one bit leh.. still the same old him.. die lah.. feel like slpin now.. the slpin spell is all over mi.. how how??
duno if xiang is cumin out todae anot.. butthn nemind lah.. got the sat tat slpy feeling.. if he not cumin out,
Mr te now with us.. he telling us he end of tis mth goin to tender, thn nw huiyu sae till like so overjoy, coz got pple accompany her to leave. i mean i am irritated loh.. thn he kept rubbing in.. and mr te aso. wat can i sae.. i realie hate it here. a mth ago whn i wanted to leave, she is the one who hold mi back. thou i haf to admit i aso got my reserve bout leavin, but thn she realie plays a big part loh. thn nw coz she got in ntu liao, thn like tat sae wan leave.. how do u wan mi to feel.. damn betrayed loh. i knw its for her own good. so i understand, and i kept quiet. in fact i tink i was pretty encouragin loh. and nw she haf to rub in like tat.. hw do u wan mi to feel. thn i flare, mr te still sae might as well ah ger aso go loh. she still got the cheek to tell him is all coz i got the finicial problem. cum on loh.. i've been telling her i have my drivin expenses counted out liao. i can actualie resigned end of tis mth de. thn she is the one who asked mi stay. wat the fuck. angry. realie angry.
damn pissed. dun wan tok to her. in fact i dun feel like tokkin to her again. wonder i can tahan how long. but thn i realie dun feel like tokin.. hate her. in fact i tink its all coz her i am in wat i am now. if not i will leave long ago liao. still tink she's my best frewn here.. wat crap. am i kickin a big fuss out of nth?? do u tink i'm in the wrong? duno lah.. damn angry now. todae i goin to leave on the dot. let her go ahead and tender tis mth.. i haf to calm dwn and tink about it.
Okie.. about 20min haf passed frm just now, the time is now 3.11pm. i feel more clam dwn liao. but thn still cant forgive her. tink tis matter haf been in my heart for a longlong time liao. thn todae she like tat, its just trigger off and i exploded. till nw, i dun tink i am in the wrong. its not i stubborn or wat. just one word loh. selfish. but thn cant help it loh. she dun even tink bout her own twin, not to mention mi. but thn please loh, dun rub in liao. i already need to constantly remind myself to look on the bright side. w/o her havin to remind mi of the dark side. still got 2hr plus thn can go home liao. tink xiang is not meetin mi todae.. tink aso rush for him to be cumin in and out. but its okie, i can go home rite after wrk.. go back and slp on all my stuff.. i'm a very direct person.. like means like, dun like means dun like. and whn i no like, i realie show it. tats mi. i'm a straight forward ger. and rite now, i'm feelin damn pissed.. very angry.. i dun wan yi qi yong shi. no point resign coz her.. thn in the end shou ku de shi zi ji.. so tonite, must reallie tally out my final conclusion. thn if all odds points to mi leavin, thn i'll tender tml.. but thn actualie i dun mind abit more cash de.. its like 1k more leh.. but thn it aso means 1 more mth of sufferin here loh.. so todae got to go back tok to xiang and all abit.. 3.49 liao.. in bout 2hrs more i believe i'll be out of tis place liao..
haizz.. damn sian.. realie sianzz.. mr te just cum tok to mi abit.. well.. he is ask mi to leave aso since not hapie.. and given my calibre, sure can find job sumwher else. but thn nw aso huiyu sae prefer us not to leave together. everyting aso she sae. fuck loh. but thn i dun wan get manuliplitated by anione.. i wan to do wat i wan. i wan go tink bout it thn see how. actualie feelin slightly beta liao. and now 4.17pm on my clock liao. so in an hour time, thn i can start to count dwn to go home liao.. todae i realie didnt do aniting much.. but thn aso quite li hai hor.. neber do ting aso pass one dae liao.. not bad ah.. i finaly learnt the power to use a long time to do a simple task.. guess tis is wrk smart ba.. thou not exactly smart, but thn at least yar.. guess tis is aso one wae of wrkin ba..
she tried tokin to mi. but thn i dun wan tok to her. nw she aso like not too hapie liao. bt thn her prob. cant be bothered with her..
nw 4.37pm.. actualie i frm tis morn write till nw.. aso not bad hor.. like todae xiang busy in camp. so his reply aso abit slow.. haizz.. feel beta nw liao. but thn still dun feel like tokin to her.. in an hour time,i will be on my wae home liao. thou todae is not a busy dae, the time aso passes reasonably fast.. HEHE..4.57pm liao wor.. left half hour more to go.. realie looking forward in goin home.. hehe.. at least my mood beta now..
5.49pm liao.. i am leavin the office liao.. xiang sms mi sae his meetin mi at my place ther.. thn go my hsey watch a vcd liek tat.. tink he knws i upset.. so purposely wan accompany mi.. realie apprecaite him for bein ther for mi alwaes.. i knw i at times aso not too nice to him.. but thn he still so nice to mi. love u dear~* haizz.. he aso never reads tis de.. got write and no write same de.. leavein liao.. tml tink i can write another lenghty lenghty de..

Todae 20th May.. Hengheng's bdae todae.. duno if i am meetin him todae anot.. Happie Bdae Heng~~!~! his 21st bdae todae.. may all his wishes cum true leh..

Aniwae, i failed my TP.. well.. didnt realie feel mush about it.. coz i more or less expected it de.. if pass thn realie is mirical.. thn after tat ermm.. yar.. went ktv..

todae i in a mood swing.. in a damn bad mood now.. i did something wrong todae.. i got the 2D Drawing frm the motorola on 30th april.. thn i forget pass to mr te.. thn as a result, thn the tooling dun haf cavity marking.. thn i knw its my fault.. i realie knw its my fault.. thn i told hr te about it. thn i said its my fault.. but thn he still wan to charge for the cavity marking.. thn i called fred in china, thn i knw fred abit pissed loh.. thn i tink its all my fault.. fred dun wan to pay for it.. thn haizz.. in the end mr te called fred.. so the conclusion is fred needs to pay loh.. as in i here haf to raise PO for it loh.. but thn haizz.. mr te said is not my fault, ask mi to stop sayin its my fault.. coz even if i give him the drawing on 30th may, he will still need us to pay for it de.. but thn the ting is fred is pissed i tink.. haizz.. so over tis i am in a damn low mood liao..

to make tings worst, huiyu is not too supportive aso.. i knw she got her own set of problems.. but thn haizz.. thn nxt wk is the lasty wk of tis mth liao. she just told mi she's goin to tender her resignation nxt wed or thursdae.. haizz.. i am tinkin of stayin till end of july actualie so i can at least pay off all the driving stuff.. coz just over tis wkend, i spend bou 400bucks on drivin.. but thn given wat i'm feelin now, i realie got no wish to continue.. how?? help ah~* i knw if i were to brin it up to xiang, he will sure ask mi resign, thn driving he will help mi pay.. but thn i dun realie like it like tis.. so i got a week time to consider to stay or to go.. and even if i go, i aso got nth to do.. to start looking for job, or to go bac to sch.. if its bac to sch, thn i tink most prob it will be SIM liao..

todae realie in a sucky mood.. haizz..

Todae 18th May.. another big dae in my life.. actualie frankly speaking lah.. tink tis year realie quite a busy year for mi.. i aso duno how to sae lah.. ermm.. like alot of event and activities liek tat loh.. hehe~* got lots of upz and dwns.. but thn one ting tat never change is life still goes on.. regardless i hapie or sad, it will not stop and wait for mi.. thou after todae, i will haf to wrk straight for a couple of mths, a/o any holisdae like tis.. but thn wat to do.. realie got to plan to go bac sch instead of wrkin.. but evn if i were to go bac sch now, will onli be my escape for tis period of time..

i now, actualie planin to stay on till xiang ord, thn by thn we can start plannin wat we wan do.. ermm.. but thn tat is wat i tink lah.. in actual fact, to stay on at sei woo is realie not easy... or shld i sae its not as easy as i tink de.. haizz.. actulie end of the mth cumin again.. time we will face a cross junction again.. to tender or to stay.. haizz.. if dun tender, sure regret de.. tender liao aso like haizz.. pple alwaes sae tender le thn suan le.. but thn its not like tat de loh..

okie.. todae is the big dae.. goin to take my driving test liao.. realie hope i can make it.. thou i knw my diring still quite dangerous, lack of safty factors, but thn i realie hope i can make it still loh.. kae.. pls pple, pray for mi hor.. pray hard hard tat nth will go wrong.. even if i no pass, aso nemind.. i dun wan later accident thn jia lat liao..

ERrmm.. wow.. this blog actualie revamped.. tink i can post up a pic or two now.. but thn haizz.. wait till i more free ba.. hehe.. ermm.. todae i on leave.. thn went drivin.. todae driving sucks loh.. so i tink tml is xiong duo ji shao de.. but thn haizz.. nemind ba.. sat went sentosa.. acutualie didnt do muchie.. just go ther slack ard.. but thn ther was no much sun, so i didnt managed to get any tan.. yar.. thn wore the new luminous green bikini.. tok cum fotos.. will update it into frewnster whn i got time and all.. the gers were sayin i am sooo fair.. hehe.. actualie i like it fair leh.. fair fair not nice meh?? thn i didnt manage to bath at sentosa coz the queue was like soooo long.. thn yar..so i left the place even w/o bathing.. thn yar loh.. soooo dirty leh.. bua tahan.. but thn haizz..

ermm.. thn sundae went drivin, didnt do well either.. thn after tat argue with xiang abit.. attitude him abit more, thn went granny hse for dinner.. the food ther realie yum yum.. thn vivian said xiang is my fat bf.. haha~* she actualie said he fat.. actualie xiang not fat lah.. just tat coz sat go sentosa.. thn ai mei de him went to gym.. wan to show off abit.. so his quite big size now.. yar.. hehe~* but thn nemind.. i haf a fun time teasing him too.. thn play mahjong abit while he go home, thn after tat play with the gers, and help out with their homewrk and OMG.. ah verene's maths is soooo tough leh.. she's onli in Pri3 leh.. but thn the maths hor.. realie de leh.. i haf to use the algebra simlutanous equation to solve it.. thn xiang came pick mi up, thn he aso help abit.. thn he uses tis duno wat method to solve it.. haizz.. but thn realie loh.. Pri3 onli leh.. the maths hor.. realie damn diff loh.. i used the sec sch method to solved it loh..
ermm.. thn todae mondae.. actualie quite a nice feeling.. mondae no need go wrk, thn stay home like tis slack.. thn after driving, after lunchie thn cum homey.. actualie supposed to do hse wrk de.. but thn benben called mi, sae mummy left a note on her door.. actualie is telling mi to do the hsewrk de.. thn he ask mi wat mummy wrote.. thn he asked izzit ask him do hsewrk, thn i said YES~* hehe.. so benben realie go do hsewrk loh.. hehe.. after he did the hsewrk he called mummie thn realise tat note is actualie for mi de.. hehe.. who ask him chinese sooo poor.. so bo bian lah.. hehe~*
now wan go movie with xiang.. but thn not much show recently leh.. and to make ting worst, his playin PS2 with benben now.. win liao loh.. he rather play with him thn go out with mi.. dun like him de...

ERrmm.. wow.. this blog actualie revamped.. tink i can post up a pic or two now.. but thn haizz.. wait till i more free ba.. hehe.. ermm.. todae i on leave.. thn went drivin.. todae driving sucks loh.. so i tink tml is xiong duo ji shao de.. but thn haizz.. nemind ba.. sat went sentosa.. acutualie didnt do muchie.. just go ther slack ard.. but thn ther was no much sun, so i didnt managed to get any tan.. yar.. thn wore the new luminous green bikini.. tok cum fotos.. will update it into frewnster whn i got time and all.. the gers were sayin i am sooo fair.. hehe.. actualie i like it fair leh.. fair fair not nice meh??

ermm.. thn sundae went drivin, didnt do well either.. thn after tat argue with xiang abit.. attitude him abit more, thn went granny hse for dinner.. the food ther realie yum yum.. thn vivian said xiang is my fat bf.. haha~* she actualie said he fat.. actualie xiang not fat lah.. just tat coz sat go sentosa.. thn ai mei de him went to gym.. wan to show off abit.. so his quite big size now.. yar.. hehe~* but thn nemind.. i haf a fun time teasing him too.. thn play mahjong abit while he go home, thn after tat play with the gers, and help out with their homewrk and OMG.. ah verene's maths is soooo tough leh.. she's onli in Pri3 leh.. but thn the maths hor.. realie de leh.. i haf to use the algebra simlutanous equation to solve it.. thn xiang came pick mi up, thn he aso help abit.. thn he uses tis duno wat method to solve it.. haizz.. but thn realie loh.. Pri3 onli leh.. the maths hor.. realie damn diff loh.. i used the sec sch method to solved it loh..
ermm.. thn todae mondae.. actualie quite a nice feeling.. mondae no need go wrk, thn stay home like tis slack.. thn after driving, after lunchie thn cum homey.. actualie supposed to do hse wrk de.. but thn benben called mi, sae mummy left a note on her door.. actualie is telling mi to do the hsewrk de.. thn he ask mi wat mummy wrote.. thn he asked izzit ask him do hsewrk, thn i said YES~* hehe.. so benben realie go do hsewrk loh.. hehe.. after he did the hsewrk he called mummie thn realise tat note is actualie for mi de.. hehe.. who ask him chinese sooo poor.. so bo bian lah.. hehe~*
now wan go movie with xiang.. but thn not much show recently leh.. and to make ting worst, his playin PS2 with benben now.. win liao loh.. he rather play with him thn go out with mi.. dun like him de...

Its mi.. and its lucnhie time.. i am in the office.. tink its raining cats and doggies outside.. but thn it doesnt matter.. coz tis truly reflects my mood.. feelin damn unhappie now..
yest huiyu sms mi sae she got into NTU liao leh.. thn its like i am realie hapie for her loh.. its like at least she got sumting she wanted and stuff like tat.. frankly speakin lah.. i am relaie hapie for her.. but thn my after tot is i am sad for my ownself. its like yar.. coz i didnt get in loh.. thn yar.. thou pple are tellin mi tat ther is still chance.. but thn cum on loh.. i knw my own results and all.. i realie didnt do well de loh.. wat xiang sae is true lah.. she sacrifice all her time in poly to study hard.. while i use the time to play hard, so whn it cums to the seed that we sow, obviously she she gets a sweeter harvest loh.. i knw tis theory, so thou i am hopin for miricle to hapen, but thn i still didnt put in too much hope, coz if i didnt get in, thn its realie disaterous...
well.. actualie nw i not hapie with her, its not coz of the uni problem.. coz i cant blame her for it. its onli mi who played too hard in poly.. but thn wat realie makes mi mad is her attitude loh.. i mean yar.. todae i'm realie busy loh.. i mean wrk duno why all starts to cum in all at the same time.. but thn at least, show sum respect loh.. i knw she's busy. tats coz she's not wrkin smart enuff.. she's simply wrkin hard.. so as a result, she's just sloggin awae.. so whn she's free, thn she will cum to my side and wan tok cock and all.. thn todae she like not free, thn she realie throw mi aside liek tat.. i felt so played.. tis is not wat frewns shld be de.. i relaie dun appreciate tis nonsense loh.. i'm angry. realie realie angry. with her attitude. i realie regret stayin for her sake.. in wrk, ther'e realie no such tings as frewns.. at least wrkin for so long, i finaly has got to knw tis point.. all my bosses and colleauge has told mi tis. but thn we choose to differ it.. now, i realie understand it liao..

Just reached office.. todae is tuesdae.. now is 8.48am on my clock.. hehe~* just wanna drop a note.. yesterdae, after wrk, i went to yishun inter walkwalk wif huiyu.. thn hor.. hehe~* i pierce my ear hole leh.. hehe~* 20 years in my life.. tis is the first time.. actualie its aso not as pain as i tot it would be lah.. so ermm.. yar.. hehe~*

Dear Blog, its mi again.. its 5.51m on my pc clock.. why am i still in the office..

a) Thunder Storm here... Lightning and thunder and large amount of rain...
b) Waiting for Huiyu.. Tink we need to tok about my resignation tml.. the whole dae she's hinting mi to tink bout my decision, and finally ard 5pm, she ask mi can i dun resign..

Okie.. so onli 2 point.. but the power to this 2 points is soooo great.. to keep mi in the office whn i got nth to do, and aso whn i am to meet xiang in orchard.. haizz.. i wan GGggooo.... what am i doin here.. haizz.. Bad life ah..

Todae email andrea abit.. Thn found out tat she tml last dae.. yar.. she resigned.. and nw she wan take a break frm wrk.. might wan go aussie study, or SIM for a part time coz.. yar.. aniwae.. haizz.. thn i sms qian, thn she sae she wan go bac to sch.. damn funni de.. wrking de cant wait to get out of the wrk and back to sch.. schooling de cant wait to get out of sch and go back to wrk.. haizz..

and now huiyu tell mi she tml dun wan cum wrk.. so she can no need see mi tender.. fuck loh. i waited for her till nw and tis is the nonsense i got frm her. fed up loh. fuck it lah.. leavin office now liao.

Dear Blog,

Its fang gong time again.. Todae actualie is a relatively pleasant dae till now.. ermm.. or maybe about 15min ago.. realie dampen my mood.. I already hated tat idiot for taking awae my V180 awae.. and nw, it seems like its more thn V180.. Seems like even the A1000 his gettin involved too.. and God knws wat else his goin to take awae frm mi.. Fuck man.. Realie fed-up.. Wrk starts to build up todae.. Mostly the Telian stuff.. my C340 and V240.. Heng the Koreans onli realie look for mi.. so i was still tinking, maybe wrk is still not tat bad mah.. coz its like i am doin wat I like.. so i startin to haf 2nd tots about the fridae resignation stuff.. But now, seems like I did not make a wrong choice..

told huiyu about it this ting just now.. her reply was aso not wat i wan hear.. after being here for so long, i'm realie disappointed at her.. i mean all along i tot onli she knws hw i realie feel, wat i realie wan.. but thn guess i'm wrong aso.. tis time round, she's not leavin.. coz her sis just resigned.. I knw tis sounds practical.. but thn wat i see, is tat she cant bear it here too.. cant bear to start all over again.. so yar.. i'm angry.. veryvery angry.. and i haf to go dinner wif her tonite.. thou xiang's havin off, but thn coz i dated her first.. i mean its still effort on my part.. and tis is all i go..

Fuck. tat fucker got my Razor file tat i just set up TODAE.

Dear blog,

I am in the office now. Its about 1/2hr to fang gong. Todae is quite a horrible dae. Coz I didnt have much to do. Normally at wrk, pple are hopin for less wrk, but mi on the other hand, is hopin for more. Funnie rite.. yar.. Finally, its the end of the dae.. I realie waited so damn long for this moment. Hw I wish I can dun cum wrk tml.. but thn its quite impossible.. For the entire mth of April, I have not had a complete wrk week.. Its either MC, or leave an urgent leave.. Kind of regret taking so much leave and MC since the begining.. How??

This morn I had a short talk with my mum. Told her bout my intension of resignation. Actualie i onlie intend to inform her of my resignation, and not to ask for her opinion.. I knw i am stubborn.. coz i realie dun wan stay here ani longer. Thus i knw if I start askin, thn if she start to contradict my decision, i will start to shake frm my own decision. But surprisingly, she did not qus my decision, and neither did she show any disapproval. In fact she is still pretty supportive. So yar.. with my mum liek tis, it gives mi more confidence to carry on with my decision.

Actualie i'm reallie glad my mum gif mi this response. Coz i guess i am still pretty much of a kid. I will still want parent approval. I dun wan to do tings tat they tink is wrong. I mean i still wan to be their good girl.. So i'm glad tat i went to tok to her about it. hehe~*

So nw, its just up to my enduring skills.. see how am I goin to survive till then.. the more I tink, the more heartpain I got. Coz tat fucker took my V180 Project awae.. I realie put alot of time n effort in it. And he just took it awae like tis. I realie realie hate him!! I knw this is wrk. But thn i still cant take it. maybe i'm childish.. but thn haizz.. duno lah..

Xiang is reallie supportive too.. I knw these few daes i start to PMS liao.. so my tolerance level is veri low.. we will kick up a quarrel damn easily.. But thn he aso damn encouragin about my resignation. He onli earnin a miserable 600plus frm his NSF.. but thn he sae we can survive on this de.. hehe~* no shoppin, no restaurant.. thn can survive liao.. actualie like tat tink aso quite sweet.. thn he just nw sms mi tell mi recently alot of pple driving all first time pass.. so he ask mi to jia you.. hehe~* but thn if fail aso nemind.. he will be my chauffer... hehe~*

Getin damn fat recentli.. damn jia lat.. todae later goin gym with xiang.. go wrk out abit.. tis will be 2nd time i go gym leh.. so scary.. the last time i go i still in sec sch, go ther playplay onli leh.. i scare later alot of pple.. thn i scare later i do wrongly thn pai sey.. hehe~* but thn nemind lah.. everiting aso got first time de mah rite..

Goin fang gong liao.. thn nw gt pple ask mi do wrk, so haf to OT.. damn stupid de.. i whole dae nth to do, thn nw fang gong liao thn ask mi open wavier.. damn stupid..

At the office now.. all of a sudden tink the blog i posted the dae b4 sounds to er xin.. hehe.. tink i was thn in a damn sweet mood.. so everyting i wrote all so tian.. thn tian till nw read liao aso feel er xin myself.. hehe.. not sae now no tian liao.. but thn yar.. hehe..
aniwae, nw in the office, dyin to leave.. but thn waitin for my ai ren to finish her wrk first.. everytime aso she wait for mi.. nw i wait for her aso correct lah.. well.. sian.. the desire to resigned is all over mi again.. in fact tis mth rite.. i took quite alot of leave n mc.. so now even more reluctant to cum back office.. yar.. so i am tinkin of tenderin up the resignation end of mth.. yar.. i knw pple are so sick of hearin mi wantin to quit, but thn in the end still here.. but thn frankly speakin lah.. noone understand wat i'm goin try here.. at times, i tink even xiang duno.. on mon i told him about mi feel like tenderin end of the mth.. the respond frm him dun realie sound supportive.. aso cannot sae not supportive lah.. he is all hands and legs up for mi to leave.. but thn he aso duno why am i still hangin on after so long.. actualie i aso duno why.. its a indescrible feeling.. guess onli my airen knws.. so mi and her got this special bonding coz of tis.. yar..
aniwae.. yar.. tats wat i feel like doin loh.. haizz..
aniwae.. my granny was in hospital for bout 2 weeks ard the begining of the mth.. she was out frm the hospi last week.. actualie i am soo upset bout it.. coz thers tis bacteria in her blood.. i duno if ther's an entry for this, but thn i'm realie upset.. among all my grandparents, she is the least i wan to lose.. coz i am the closest to her.. yar.. so i kept goin to visit her.. thanks thers xiang ard.. i dun mean to sae his my chauffer, but thn i realie appreciate it as he realie drives mi ard.. thanks kae dear.. but thn thanks god she's feelin beta liao loh..
and yar... sumting provoke mi last nite.. i was home earli last nite.. thn i went online mah.. thn i read yk's tat ex the blog.. thn as i read on, she still likes him loh.. thn the wae she sae till like damn er xin aso.. haizz.. realie dun like this girl.. like so damn fake.. i mean why do she haf to be like so hoo-haa over yk leh.. worth it meh?? i realie dun understand.. but thn the worst ting is a statement she said tat realie realie irritates mi.. i mean she mention mi in tat particular blog.. and i mean its sumting pretty personal.. and she actualie published it out like this.. i'm realie angry.. but thn nemind.. guess wrkin life realie brush mi up.. coz i is like furious at it.. but thn i hold my cool and didnt do aniting about it.. fed-up leh..

At the office now.. all of a sudden tink the blog i posted the dae b4 sounds to er xin.. hehe.. tink i was thn in a damn sweet mood.. so everyting i wrote all so tian.. thn tian till nw read liao aso feel er xin myself.. hehe.. not sae now no tian liao.. but thn yar.. hehe..
aniwae, nw in the office, dyin to leave.. but thn waitin for my ai ren to finish her wrk first.. everytime aso she wait for mi.. nw i wait for her aso correct lah.. well.. sian.. the desire to resigned is all over mi again.. in fact tis mth rite.. i took quite alot of leave n mc.. so now even more reluctant to cum back office.. yar.. so i am tinkin of tenderin up the resignation end of mth.. yar.. i knw pple are so sick of hearin mi wantin to quit, but thn in the end still here.. but thn frankly speakin lah.. noone understand wat i'm goin try here.. at times, i tink even xiang duno.. on mon i told him about mi feel like tenderin end of the mth.. the respond frm him dun realie sound supportive.. aso cannot sae not supportive lah.. he is all hands and legs up for mi to leave.. but thn he aso duno why am i still hangin on after so long.. actualie i aso duno why.. its a indescrible feeling.. guess onli my airen knws.. so mi and her got this special bonding coz of tis.. yar..
aniwae.. yar.. tats wat i feel like doin loh.. haizz..
aniwae.. my granny was in hospital for bout 2 weeks ard the begining of the mth.. she was out frm the hospi last week.. actualie i am soo upset bout it.. coz thers tis bacteria in her blood.. i duno if ther's an entry for this, but thn i'm realie upset.. among all my grandparents, she is the least i wan to lose.. coz i am the closest to her.. yar.. so i kept goin to visit her.. thanks thers xiang ard.. i dun mean to sae his my chauffer, but thn i realie appreciate it as he realie drives mi ard.. thanks kae dear.. but thn thanks god she's feelin beta liao loh..
and yar... sumting provoke mi last nite.. i was home earli last nite.. thn i went online mah.. thn i read yk's tat ex the blog.. thn as i read on, she still likes him loh.. thn the wae she sae till like damn er xin aso.. haizz.. realie dun like this girl.. like so damn fake.. i mean why do she haf to be like so hoo-haa over yk leh.. worth it meh?? i realie dun understand.. but thn the worst ting is a statement she said tat realie realie irritates mi.. i mean she mention mi in tat particular blog.. and i mean its sumting pretty personal.. and she actualie published it out like this.. i'm realie angry.. but thn nemind.. guess wrkin life realie brush mi up.. coz i is like furious at it.. but thn i hold my cool and didnt do aniting about it.. fed-up leh..

Todae 20th April.. i had a fantastic weekend leh.. i took leave on sat and mondae.. coz xiang's bdae. thn i got the chalet for him.. realie realie had fun. actualie it meant to be a surprise for him.. but thn he actualie found out a mth ago.. thn actualie abit sian loh.. all my plans like gone dwn the drain.. he sat early in the morn cum to my hse liao.. i haven even collect the cake.. actualie he knw bout the chalet and all liao.. he is pusposely cum dwn pick mi up de.. but thn haizz.. make mi excited for soo long.. but thn actualie seems like eveyone knows bout the chalet, know xiang knows bout the chalet, except mi.. so seems like i am the one kept in the dark, i am the stupid one.. hehe..
but thn yar.. my frewns came, his frewns came on sat nite for the bbq.. i realie had fun loh.. see all his frewns.. hehe.. thn his frewns like all praise for mi liek tat.. hehe.. actualie deep dwn i realie realei hapie.. thn after tat played dai dee with huili mich and clement.. lost abit, but thn nemind lah.. i realie realie had fun leh.. yar..
so the entire weekend, onli got mi and him.. sundae earli in the mornin we stroll to inter eat mac breakfast.. hehe.. so sweet like tat.. imagine last person i saw whn i go slp is him, thn ther's sumone to hughug u to slp.. thn the nxt morn wake up see him still slpin.. wakin him up.. i mean its like so sweet leh.. hehe.. thn yar.. slack whole dae, thn mondae liao.. thn check out.. thn go his hsey.. yar.. stay quite awhile at his place.. wait for his mum to get ready thn sent her to his aunt place.. yar.. tat dae his mum liek not bad to mi.. hept tokin to mi.. hehe.. actualei feel hapie aso.. thn after tat we still go catch a show.. yar.. like quite long never see show liao..
ermm.. realie had a great wkend.. i wonder whn can we haf a break like this again.. real relax, realie comfy.. with him with mi.. hehe.. deardear.. love u leh..

ermm.. todae is good fridae.. i posted up the previous msg sumtime back.. but thn wat happen eventualie is he called mi and make tings up with mi.. yar.. thn as i didnt update tat part in.. so wat happen is frewns haf been smsin and callin mi up and askin if i'm alrite.. but realie thanks!! thanks to dennis, and thanks to my Sista~* actualie till now i didnt knw pple still read tis.. but thn nw i knw liao.. thanks kae.. but thn no worries.. i'm fine with him now liao.. realie realie realie..
last wed i went zouk.. had a hell of a time.. hehe~* thurs went to see doc get mc.. coz got a slight hang over lah.. thn i aso sick.. now got flu lah, sore throat and everyting aso cum liao.. so yest didnt went wrk.. but thn evening time i still can go meet my colleauges go ktv.. at cck.. which is damn freakin far for mi.. but thn wat to do.. they all live either wooldlands or cck.. but thn nemind lah.. i actualie had fun.. thn xiang last nite sent mum to airport, thn he frm air port cum all the wae dwn to cck to pick mi up.. hehe~* thn we went back hougang eat the midnite curry rice.. thn go ponggul park slack abit.. so by the time i home, already bout 4pm liao.. actualie tis wk, i realie feel happy.. its like thers alot of activities line up.. todae qian ther jio clubbin, thn huili ther jio mahjong.. it realie seems like the good old daes loh..
and so fast.. one week frm now is the his bdae liao.. still didnt buy pressent.. duno wat to get for him leh.. ermmmm....

I tink its the end of mi n him..
i still feel very stone.. in fact whn nw i start to express it out now, i actualie feel like crying. and i cant help but blame my frewns for it. all thanks to you girls. maybe its aso my fault, but thn i realie cant help but blame my frewns. realie thanks so much girls. i realie hate the girls now. but thn wat can i do. noting. he just sms mi. at 9.28am. and now is 10.17am. and i didnt reply. wat can i sae? nth. to him its aso my fault. i'm stubborn. thn so be it. fine. i realie like him alot. realie.. fucked it loh. if taats the wae it turns out, thn nth i aso lah. but thn thanks girls. i realie hate andrea for it. i hate all of u who added all the salt and peper into it.

todae didnt go wrk.. went for an interview at kallang.. but thn freak it loh.. tat palce is far, and the place ulu.. so i tink i beta stick to my present job.. actualie i feelin damn excited todae.. coz last nite comfirm on the wat liao.. so now i starting to make plans.. i dun wan to elaborate too much on it.. in case his readin it.. hehe.. at times very hard to sae de.. thou he sae he will not read, but thn noone can be too sure mah hor..
aniwae, i'm feeling damn excited about it.. i realie hope everiting will wrk out loh.. well.. recently i am still feelin damn stress up at wrk.. everydae OT and alot of tings keep happening.. and i am handling alot of projects.. actualei feeling damn happie about it.. okie.. end here liao.. tokin to huili on the phone now.. hehe~*

Guess wat.. its the 12th march todae.. its been like 1 mth since i last update.. i at his placey now.. yar.. he came pick mi up after wrk.. recently feelin damn stress at wrk.. my workload gettin heavier n heavier.. but thn the funny ting is i actualie feel hapie.. its like the job satifactory.. ermmm.. funny rite.. i sort of like the responsibility that i hold.. its like ermm.. yar.. feel tat there will definately be sumone in the office who cant do without mi.. hehe..
so yar.. actualie nth muchie happen nowadaes loh.. just tat i busy at wrk loh.. thn once a week will go dinner with the poly girls.. this custom hasss been goin on for ages liao.. hehe.. feel quite proud tat almost a year after we left sch, but thn we are still just as close.. todae supposed to haf dinner with thm.. but thn in the end i didnt go.. coz ermm... nemind nemind.. tml 13th leh.. benben bdae.. happie bdae to him leh~* 14th year old liao leh.. big boi liao.. hehe.. tml evening got a buffet dinner got him.. thn junling 14th bdae... her 21st bdae.. celebratin tml aso.. at the arandaa country club.. thn its aso dinner.. duno how to spilt myself up.. haizzz.. both i aso feel like goin leh.. nemind lah.. tml thn will know liao.. the boat reach the bridge thn the bridge will be straight de.. hehe.. got pple sae i tokkin rubbish leh.. so smart thn ask him to type lah..

i love my dear dear :D and my dear dear loves me

tats frm him.. nt frm mi.. hehe.. well.. wher was i just nw.. ermm.. damn tired nw.. recently feels tat wrk simply drain off all my energy.. reallie feel damn stressed up.. its like ther are times wher i simply breaks dwn in the office.. actualie twice.. i broke dwn twice last weeks.. and its the whole office knew i cried.. coz its realie bad.. nemind nemind.. tml sherry's last dae.. tink i am goin to miss her muchie.. actualie as times goes by, i realie gettin close to thm.. so i realie she bu de leh..
haizz.. and recently.. coz i feelin damn stress up at wrk.. it affected my mood on the overall.. i actualie flare up more easily.. so he easily became my easy target.. actualie he aso quite suay lah.. gettin all the nonsense frm mi whn he obviously dun deserve it.. but thn at times its him who sparkle it off de loh.. so cant blame mi.. well.. thou i still feel damn happie with him.. but thn we still haf our ups and dwns.. tings like nt alwaes tat smooth de loh.. but thn no regrets lah.. tings eventualy can tok out de loh.. ermm.. and my drvin date cumin liao.. how how how ??? i tink i still damn lousy leh.. haizz.. and its all coz of this stupid drivin thn i cna resign.. okie. i do like the job.. but thn i realie cant take the pressure.. its mi whose weak and wan to give up.. but thn i haf to keep goin coz haf to support all my drivin lesson.. like damn ke lian like tat..
haizz.. dun type liao.. todae actualie goin devils bar.. but in the end aso never go.. tired lah.. so ended up slackin at his hsey.. late liao.. goin back soon liao.. so take care pple.. free call mi.. i haf not forgotten u wan kae..

Todae is the 10th Feb, 1.18pm.. i in the office, juz came back frm lunchie.. went to eat macdonald with my ai ren huiyu.. yar.. so now eat liao i feel like slpin leh.. damn tired..
i'm real tired of wrking.. realie veryvery tired.. cant wait to get out of tis place leh.. todae like suddenli alot of pple remembered mi.. raymond called to remind mi of our date tis thursdae.. thn dennis aso sms mi.. to let mi know he passed his tp.. well.. glad for him loh.. haizz.. wonder i can anot.. i aso wan pass the first time round.. i dun haf much cash to spare.. well.. last sundae, i went for my first circuit.. i actualie feel i not tat bad leh.. i mean i prefer the circuit beta thn on the road loh.. ermm.. i realie hope by 18th may i will not cock tings up.. hehe..
and yar.. qian has already resigned.. her last dae will be i tink 3rd march.. thn huiyu aso has prepared her resignation letter.. she will tendered her resignation on the 13th.. fridae the 13th.. haizz.. so if nth goes wrong.. her last dae will be the end of the mth..haizz.. if by thn my ai ren leaves liao.. i aso duno how.. it'll realie be lonely for mi.. and thou we are realie realie close now lah.. but thn deep dwn we both knw once we leave sei woo rite.. we will never be the same again loh.. its like it will never be the same again.. all we haf is the memories..
but thn yar.. i am realie keen to tender my resignation on the end of the mth.. i duno whether i can survive with the cash on hand, i dun tink its alot aniwae.. maybe juz pass the 1k mark.. but thn hopefulli can last mi till i pass my stupid driving, and aso hope i can find a part time like huiyu.. but thn the part time she havin now is on the wkends de leh.. if i start wrkin on the wkend, thn i will not haf time for my deardear liao.. haizz.. but thn i realie hate the life i'm leadin now.. i realie hope tis will not last.. and its like i'm still young.. if i dun be decisive now, and i kept draggin, thn wait till i old liao thn wan chiong meh.. impossible de rite..
i've given tots on studyin.. i've not discuss it with mum.. maybe taking a diploma in earli childhood, or maybe a part-time degree in ntu/nus.. or maybe can go SIM.. or i can wait till he ORD liao, thn plan abit, thn go overseas study with him.. yar.. all now still tokin on paper.. actualie not even paper ah.. tokin in the air onli.. hehe..
haizz.. xiang at home now.. todae he actualie can booked out earli.. in fact damn earli.. like 10 in the morning.. tis wkend v dae leh.. but thn we like abit no plans yet.. ermm.. aso not sae no plans lah.. i is tinkin on tat dae.. each person get 10bucks thn go buy a gift for each other.. thn haf to tink of a theme so noones play cheat.. ermm.. i still tinkin of mine leh.. hehe.. actualie i find it pretty silly.. but thn aso quite sweet loh.. thn at nite tinking of go camping.. but thn sat leh.. i comfirm is veryvery tired de.. still go campin comfirm die till very nan kan de.. haizz.. by thn see how ba.. hehe.. now time is 2.16pm.. so i took bout an hour to write tis..
nemind nemind.. take care pple~*~*

Juz reach home.. Feeling quite pissed actualie.. after wrk, i left the office at 5.35 like tat.. coz i meetin him,. so i make the effort to leave the office earli.. thn meet him at hougang, thn frm hougang went to seng kang.. actualie i wan go seng kang is coz i wanted to go see the comic.. recently got these series i like alot.. its call mong huan you xi.. like it alot.. thn tamp tat comic connection selling at 50%.. coz tat comic tat brand closed dwn liao.. so actualie its like quite hard to find the complete set, so now sellin cheap.. but thn seng kang ther no half price leh.. so disappointed.. nemind lah.. find one dae go back tamp ther buy.. hope noone buy..
thn go walk ard.. thn i saw tis pair of shoes i like alotalotalot.. its a pair of flats. it actualie look nice loh.. and its like ermm.. duno lah.. but thn he dun let mi buy. he sae recently i bought alot of shoes liao.. but thn wher got.. the last pair i bought is at the genting ther.. and the 2nd time i wear it, he actualie step on the back of the shoe, thn the side like tore loh.. its still can wear lah.. but thn haizz.. duno how to sae lah.. abit spoil spoil liao.. so i attitude him all the wae home.. didnt even sae bye, no hug no nth..
nxt time go shopin realie cant go with him.. last time shopin was one of my fav past time with yk.. can never recall whn did yk ever stopped mi frm buyin stuff.. he onli will acc mi go see, thn let mi buy.. duno loh.. angry ah.. nxt time dun wan go shopin with xiang liao.. shopin with bf n frewns is realie a diff feeling de loh.. coz ermm.. well.. i duno how to sae lah.. haizz..