Sunday, June 01, 2003

Juz reach home.. went out wif unlce alan.. to suntec sitsit toktok abit.. thn watched a movie,'wat a girl wants'.. its overall an okie show loh.. i mean ermm.. can onlie envy tat sort of stuff, knwin it will never happen to u.. coz its a fact loh.. i'll never be a princess or sumting like tat wan loh.. thn after tat meet up wif tom coz he sellin pineapple todae.. thn accompany mi home loh.. thn i ask uncle alan to go find his gf.. sat mah.. at least go meet up wif his gf, sent her home.. thn i juz accompany tom go eat supper thn cum up.. kae.. overall i had fun loh.. uncle alan was jokin wif mi the entire afternoon and all..
thn nw home liao.. haizz. lizzie comfirm got to go liao.. yk had put up an advertisment in yahoo classified ad for her.. i reali feel very sad over it.. i duno if u knw wat i'm tryin to sae here.. i reali feel like cryin u knw.. i reali dun wan to give her up.. but thn mummy is like.. haizz.. so if anione of u nw wans to haf her, pls tell mi kae.. at least if i give it to sumone i knw, i can go see her n knw she's fine and all..
tml sundae liao.. so fast.. i'm goin to start wrk on tuesdae.. at times.. i reali feel very confuse.. i duno wat i wan in life.. its like i knw i'm tryin to find a job nw.. but thn i duno wat sort of job i'm lookin for.. like i duno whether i wan to haf an admin job, or sumting into the engineerin or IT.. i felt so lost.. and its aso like tis whn it cums to the doggies.. at times, i realie wan to keep lizzie by my side at all cost.. coz i reali do love her so much.. but thn at times, i realie feel so tired. i mean for the past 1week, i haf been woken up by her at 6am. u knw hw fedup i feel.. and aso wif mummy scoldin mi and all.. i'm not recievin all the support and all.. i haf to go tru it alone.. its like one sec i wan to keep her, another sec i wan to let her go.. i juz cant make up my mind.. i feel so damn miserable.. and whn it cums to my love life, its aso like tis.. i duno wat i wan aso.. at least i'm glad tat i had already knw for sure its all over between mi n yk.. its like i knw i will not wan to get bac together.. but thn wat do i wan?? i duno. i'm afraid to admit i like sumone else.. coz i'm scare of being hurt, or wat if tat person dun like mi.. i fear rejection.. so does tis means i haf to go on like tis forever.. i dun wan history to repeat.. bac thn whn i was waitin for fa, its reali like tis.. i mean i dun dare to call him at all.. and wat i could do is to sit by the comp everydae, waitin for him to log on to the net.. well.. time reali flies.. all tis happens a year ago liao.. and i reali dun wish for history to repeat.. in the end, its nth but a fruitless wait.. and in the proccess, i got so hurt. haizz.. duno lah.. life is juz like tis.. regardless i like it or not, it still haf to go on.. regardless wat job i got, whether is lizzie by myside, or regardless if i haf tat special sumone by my side, life still haf to go on.. time will not juz stop for mi to go and ponder over it.. and before i made ani decision to wan or dun wan aniting, tat ting might haf already quietly disappear, leavin mi ther to rot away n die.....

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