Dear Bloggie,

I miss Granny..

How nice will it be, if she is still around.

Sigh..

待嫁女儿心

Dear Bloggie,

This is a very family oriented weekend or me. Attended Boyfriend's cousin's wedding on Saturday and spent the entire Sunday with my Aunts and Cousins.

Well.. That's how weekend should be like. Hanging out with all the Loved Ones.

So anyway.. After attendin the wedding dinner yesterday, it kind of ignited that wedding fire in me again.

I am super 三分钟热度. I was super excited about the wedding matters right after my XP had proposed. But after we settled on the date and banquet, my heart flew to preparation for the coming Tokyo and Osaka trip. Not that the itinerary is out.. But i'm all set to just armed myself with the guidebook and get lost in the streets and alleys of Tokyo in the hopefully not too cold weather. And well.. Now i am all excited about the wedding. Hohohoho.

But first, i have to lose that couple of kilogram before i can even look decent in any gowns. So do me a favour Okk... I have to work out more and cut down on carbo and oil.

So.. Yupz, 加油哦!

Bad habbit

Dear bloggie,

I realised i have a very bad habbit lately. I have ran out nice korean dramas to watch (most cant be stream online.. Might hafta start renting or buying it). So i start looking for nice China 古装 shows. Well.. Coz i was very impress with 步步惊心, so i think can give the other shows a chance.

So so.. But what happen is.. Once i find a not tok bad China show, i will start googling for the sypnosis. So.. I ended up knowing the entire story thou i'm only at episode 4. And i end up with no more shows to see.

So so.. I have juz finish reading the sypnosis, hence no need to continue watching the show.

So so.. Time for bed then. Nitez world!

PKK

Dear bloggie,

Boyfriend bought me Pkk n Akk for brekkie. Okok.. More of Pkk for me and Akk for my parents.

I left it on the dinning table when i got home.. And went to the room. I had wanted to ta bao the Pkk into the lunch box and.. Only to find out they ate my Pkk. :((

Upset to the max.

Very tired lately.. But cant slp. Insuficient rest leads me feeling giddy and kept feel like puking.

So so.. Very the not well. :((

Valentine's Day

Dear Bloggie,

Its Valentine's day again.. Had dinner with Besties. Its a rather impromptu arrangment. But it warms my heart to know that everyone is very dear to each other. Thou its v day and a random work day, everyone still gathers and give tries to tide each other tru difficult patches.

Its not easy.. Zero signs indicating the end of a relationship. How could one juz walk out from years of relationship. We are no longer in our teens, should be more responsible i feel. Its never easy to maintain a relationship.. But well, you also cant juz throw in the towel like that.

Sigh sigh.. I feel there is no need to go figure out why and seek that closure. Whats the point in seeking out the truth, and he might not even give the real truth. Why not juz focus more on moving on. Learn a lesson from this and not repeat what went wrong. It is a period to grief, and certain tings are easier said then done.

So well.. Time for bed.

Dear Bloggie,

都说我想分享冰糖葫芦和贵花糕的故事.. 世上没办不到的事,在麻烦在没时间我还是会抽空把它给写出来..

这是看了步步惊心后,让我感触良多的一则小故事..

人,年少时吃了冰糖葫芦..觉得冰糖葫芦是人间美味. 可是因为冰糖葫芦乃是路边小吃, 对身体百害而无益处.. 所以就决定在也不吃冰糖葫芦了..

虽下定决心了, 他对冰糖葫芦还是念念不忘. 就算是试过了贵花糕, 名贵又健康.. 他还是任为冰糖葫芦是天上有地上无的. 心里对冰糖葫芦还是请有独中.

有一天..他终于吃到了他日盼夜盼的冰糖葫芦. 怎么知道.. 冰糖葫芦送进嘴里, 跟他儿时记忆里的那味道截然不同. 这.. 怎么可能是他朝夕睦想的冰糖葫芦呢?

他这时才枉然大悟.. 原来, 他最爱的味道是那每天都在身边盘旋着的贵花糕.

人.. 往往都不懂得珍惜身边的人与物, 只懂的无畏的追寻着已失去的回忆. 就算让你失而复得, 也未必是你当初记忆里的那些回忆了..

所以.. 珍惜眼前人.

Dear Bloggie,

There is something I want to post up.. you know, at times there is just that something in your head and you just want to share it out. Today is one of such days.. I am hoping that I can do this full post in Mandarin, but unfortunatley.. I cannot do Chinese characters in office.

So... maybe I shall leave it to some other days when I am free at home. (Haha.. which I hardly am)

Anyway.. the topic. Bing Tang Hu Lu.. and Gui Hua Gao. :)

Dear Bloggie,

So much is going on, but yet.. its been real difficult to pen it down in words.

Anyway.. updates on the Wedding plan!

After the proposal on X'mas eve.. we got busy. Busy with more X'mas celebrations and New year countdown parties. And shortly after.. preparations and meet-ups for CNY.

So thou its a busy period, I manage to emails all the potentials hotels to get a rough idea on the package and price range. And also got in contact with the Geomancer introduced by CSM to get an auspicious date.

The date came in.. and we realised we do not have much of an option. There is only 1 date in the whole Q1 & 2 of 2013. So so.. we comb tru all the hotel options and visited ermm, quite a few to see the ball room. The date we got is a real auspicous one so most hotels are already fully booked (this is more then 1 year in advance). Since we have absolutely no options.. we went with Pan Pacific for Lunch.

I had wanted Dinner.. but well, :(

So so.. The venue is fixed.. and now its time to hunt for my Gown. ^^

We have not started looking for it.. its been a real busy period hence we're going slow. And oh, we have booked tix for a Japan trip in April! I wanted to see the Cherry Blossom.. so now, I am more busy trying to plan the itinerary and get the hotels.

Okok.. that is all for now.

Dear Bloggie,


Well well... this is one of the major milestone for me in 2011. On x'mas eve, we had the x'mas countdown party with Boyfriend's friend. This year.. Ah Seng hosted the party at his house.


So it is a pyjamas party and we arrived looking really 'kok'.. we bought those pyjamas pants from Chinatown and I topped it with a random white tee. So anyway.. plenty of good food but by 8plus, I was kinda bored.


At around 9pm, Ah seng gathered the people around the teevee and said he is going to play some wedding montage for Ed and CC. They just returned from their Europe trip and is getting married on the first week of 2012 (okie.. actually have already attended the wedding last weekend). So anyway.. we gather at the living room area and waited to see the montage.

I had wanted to upload the video, but the clip is not with me.

This is Facebook link Boyfriend had uploaded.. can see?

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10150447370196476&set=vb.566661475&type=2&theater

Well well.. the video ended as soon as it started. I only vaguely remember I heard the Visa advert song and Boyfriend on teevee. I only know what's going on when I see the last couple of scene with the words.

I.. am really caught in a huge surprise. The entire group kept the secret real well. So, I remember asking Boyfriend if he is serious.. that he really intend to propose now. And he went down on one knee. I totally cannot remember what he said after that, haha. But I remember asking him how big is the diamond. And I want to refund it if it is less then 1 carat. :p

So anyway.. super effort from Boyfriend. He got his Friend A (Designer) to came out with this cute graphics. Got another Friend B (Printer) to print out the signage below. Got Friend C (Dunno-what-occupation) to manufacture the Tee-shirts. Okie, no photos of the Tees, but it is to this theme and is rather cute. ^^ The video then super effort.. apparently he went to capture the background shots at 5 different locations that held special memories for both of us with Friend D (he said they are like terrorist stalking around the area), and round up Friend E, F and G to do the Visa dance with him. Oh, did I mention he rented the studio to do the Visa dance and then super-imposed it onto the background? So.. he got Friend H and I to do the video-back-end-work. Apparently another dozen of other Friends (those at the party) helped planned and execute the whole Proposal.


So.. super thankful to all the Friends!

My "less-then-1-carat-but-cannot-refund-ring".

And well.. did I mention that I said Yes. ^^

Dear Bloggie,

The end of 2011 ended with an expected twist. It happened when I am least expecting it.. but I'll save that for another post. I embark 2012 with a new energy, hoping to achieve the better good. But ended up with tears and lots of negative vibes on the 1st day of 2012.

I never knew it would be this difficult. Is it the lack of communication or I have unrealistic expectations?

I have thought this would be the sweetest journey in my life, and it would bond us closer together. But instead.. there are so much unhappiness that I am now thinking if the whole thing is a good idea. Maybe we could just skip this whole thing and move on?

Anyway.. =(

Dear Bloggie,

The year is coming to an end.. I have been busy with the launch of OneKey and all the X'mas shopping. Well.. am glad that OneKey has successfully been launch with 3 SP but that is the beginning of all our neverending work.


Have to take a break off work.. so uploaded some photos up here. ^^

This has been an emotionally tramautizing year for me. Granny's departure shaken me greatly. I learn to treasure family ties even more and never to take anyone for granted. It pains me to know that she will not longer be around me. But well.. she is constantly on my mind. It is my deepest regret that she will not be able to see me get married and have kids. And also not able to do more for her and spend more time with her.


But well.. life goes on. And I miss you Mah..
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

And well... I went on a long break to China this year. Went to climb Huang Shan.. the most challenging climb I ever embark on. And went to Hang Zhou.. and visited Xi Hu. Simply breath taking.. I like that place. Then to Shanghai.. for a little shopping and took a cruise along Huang Pu Jiang to see The Bund.Took the bullet train to Beijing.. and had a long day at the Forbidden City. It is amazing that the Chinese build these monster buildings centuries ago. The place is giantic.. and the workmanship impeccable. Then to Tian Tan the following day... where the emperor worship the heavens. Okie.. we went to some other places too, like the Summer Palace and stuff.. But the building looks more or less the same so no point posting. :p So well.. imagine how much I've walked. =(Then then.. went to the Birdie nest and Shui Li Fang. Err... nothing impressive but well, touristy thing. The China Chinese calls us Hua Qiao (Overseas Chinese).. so just take it as we are finding back our roots and admiring our fore-fathers' contributions to the good of mankind. And what is a China Trip without the Great Wall of China! Other then Xi Hu, this is one of my favorites destination. Simple.. Amazing. The whole thing felt so surreal when you are standing there. You know.. you just have to go there once in your life time.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

And lastly... my Best Friend got married. Congratulations Darling. You have no idea how happy and excited we are for you. Gay Boyfriend is indeed one wonderful man that we can entrust you and your well-being to him entirely. Wishly you enternal bliss and happiness!!

Okie.. that is 30min gone and I have to get back to work. ^^

...

Dear Mah,

I cant help but tear when I think of you.

The exchange with 小姑 make me miss you so much. I realised i am not the only one that will be living with regrets for the rest of our lives.

It makes me treasure family ties more then before.

Mah.. I really miss u.

Dear Bloggie,

Well.. think a couple months since I last pen something down here. Life.. goes on.

Went on my annual trip to a new country, been lazy and I have not even posted the photos up on Facebook. But well, new place new experience. China is really one big country. Other then the fact that I dont really fancy its' people, I have to saw they have lovely sceneries and amazing buildings. Great Wall of China is really incredible.

Granny's been gone for more then 100 days. I think I really miss her in a way. I just miss not having her around me at all. But its real selfish of me.. I've been asking myself.. what have I done for her when she is still around. Almost nothing.. But she is feeling so much better somewhere out there with no pain and mobility. So well.. I have to settle that feeling of lost in me myself and be happy that she is indeed happier and better now.

Work has been a pain in the ass, I am still not liking my co-colleauges alot. Well well.. I am just not ermm... I dont know how to put it. But well.. I am hating it. And nothing much I can do about it.

I do not like how my life has fall into a routine. I do not like the fact that noone is doing anything to add in any spices. I miss the days where we meet and venture into new arenas.

Are every so busy that no one has the time to just stop and say hi? Or is money a constraint that no one are meeting up as cost is a factor?

*sigh*

I.. just want to be out and about. There are many things that I am thinking of doing.. but yet not yet done. Like will the Terracotta still be around for me to actually go see it when you finally remember and decided to bring me down? I want my weekends to be spent chilling out at some random cafe and not a quick lunch at some hawker centre and back home. Why we no longer have those good long meals anymore? I do not want to roam aimlessly at some shopping centre coz I have so much comittment now that I do not have much extra to spend! I just want to buy and not wait till my next HongKong shopping trip.. which is half a year later.

Maybe.. I should just plan my life as how I want to live it.

I don't know.. rather emo today.

Dear Bloggie,

I think.. I neglected this little cyber space of mine.

Anyway... random.

[1] I still think of Her everyday. But well.. not in a negative way. Just missing her.. missing her deeply.

[2] I am hooked on Tiny Towers.. at level 49 now. Well, just want to finish up the whole building and put everyone in their dream jobs.

[3] Read all all 5 Percy Jacksons in a week and I feeling a sense of lost. I am still very much in that mystical world.

[4] I finally manage to "de-clutter" my room. Threw away quite a bit of stuff and all I just need to get 1 more shelf and I guess.. all is complete.

[5] Gain back some weight... and I need to lose it back. Gotta go back to my Fish Soup Diet, but colleagues wasnt that helpful. So well, just got to try harder.

Dear Bloggie,

29 July in a couple of hours. Time flies, its time of the year again.. My Birthday.

Birthday eve.. and here am I at home all by myself. No more lavish celebrations or gatherings.. not much mood and I guess its the age.

Much has happened for the past 1 year.. Granny's departure, bought my first house, changed 2 jobs and made my virgin trip to Korea.

Tomorrow.. will just be another day.

But having said that.. Xin, Happy Birthday.

Dear Bloggie,

Somehow.. I am extremely unhappy. There is just this something stirring emotions deep down, unable to put it down in words, no idea how to describe.. but just extremely unhappy.

I've been having insomnia lately. Just could not get to sleep thou I am very tired. But yet I cannot stand idling around, random negative thoughts just fill me up and I'll start to feel lonely and depress. I gave my room a partial make-over last week.. been to IKEA almost everyday last week. Bought some stuff and gave a corner of my room a new look. I stay up till 1am last night tidying up the loose bits and now I feel like doing up another part of my room.

I am okie.. I know I am okie.

So.. what should I do now.

Dear Bloggie,

她..娴淑秀丽.
她..勤劳聪慧.

出身平庸, 不是富贵人家; 年仅十多就出嫁. 婆家可能没善待她, 可是她依然紧尊三从四得, 是位好人妻. 家里大小事都由她一手包办, 尽管环境恶劣, 她依然做好自己的本分. 胞姐妹看了心疼, 对她特别怜惜.

身为七个孩子的妈, 她总把最好的留给孩子们. 她从不浪费一分一毫, 也没在自个儿身上多花钱, 就因要把最好的都给孩子们. 孩子们看见妈妈辛苦的付出, 个个都很孝顺她.

就在孩子们成年后, 应该享清福时.. 老天爷并没特别眷顾, 她身体欠佳中了风. 丧失了语言能力,行动也不便. 一夜之间, 她的生活有了一百八十度的转变. 她没法照料自个儿的起居饮食, 样样都得依靠别人.

- 25 June 2011 -

The day begin as per normal.. but was interrupted by a phone call at 8am. Aunt called and said that she could not wake Granny up. The whole family panic and asked her to call for ambulance. I do not even have the time to chance and immediately make my way out of the house while contacting my Aunt.. checking which Hospital will they take Granny to. Deep down in my heart, I am preparing myself for a long "Hospital Path" with Granny.

Daddy only manage to drove to SengKang, before my Cousin call to inform us. The ambulance arrived with medical help only to inform us that Granny has passed away. I could not even finish the conversation with her; I broke down immediately. I cannot believe it.. Granny has left us.

Daddy sped all the way down.. We finally reach Granny's house.

I walked into her room; She is lying on the bed. She have this peaceful look and her mouth in curl up in a subtle smile. She looks like she is just sleeping, and will wake up anytime soon. But nope.. her body thou soft, but is cold. She has left us.. just left us, without saying Goodbye.

While waiting for the undertakers to come take Granny's body away to prepare for the funeral.. I just seat in the room looking at her. I know she is still around the house, I just want to keep her company.

The next five days went past in a swirl.. Everything is so surreal that I cannot believe all that has happen. All the ritual only manage to upset me further by nailing down the fact that she is gone. I do not want to offer her any incense or burn her any offerings.. these are things you do for people who has move on; I still cannot accept the fact that she is no longer with us.

Many regrets.. not spending enough time with her, not telling her enough that I love her, not doing enough for her. I.. blame myself not being able to let her see me getting married; I know she will love to have that cup of tea.

Heard many stories about her during the funeral wake.. seen a part of her that I never knew. A caring Sister, a great Mother and a fantastic Grandmother; giving nothing but the best to all. All the memories that she have with me are now precious and priceless, this is a lost that is so huge that till now I am having difficulties coming to terms with it.

-29 Jun 2011 -

Walked the last journey with her. My heart aches till no words could describe. I have this void that nothing can fill up that gap. This should not be how the story ends, I want Granny to be there with me forever. I.. want to see her smile, to feel her touch. To ask me to eat whenever I go back home, I want her to be around me.

嫲, 希望你现在是快乐的. 不要有任何牵挂, 安心的上路. 虽然有万分不舍, 可是也知道这对你来说也未尝不是一种解脱. 这十八年来你过得辛苦, 心怡知道; 可是还是很自私.. 就是喜欢和需要留你在身边. 对不起.. 我的刁蛮任性. 谢谢你.. 把我当成你心里的宝.心里有着许多的本来，还有想和你一起分享的未来。
感谢你对我从儿时的疼爱，无微不至的关怀。
千言万语都已太迟了。。不敢相信你真的离我而去。
永别了，阿嬷。

Dear Bloggie,

Its such a cold and wet morning!! And I hate rainy days.. :x It started raining in the wee morning and that woke me up. I got up to close the window and I accidentally tore my curtains. So angry can!! *pout*

Anyway.. Boyfriend's Birthday Updates!!

I.. really do not know what to buy for Boyfriend. Since his Lappie is in the 'cannot-make-it' mode, I thought.. might as well pay a little more and buy him a good Lappie.

I gave him the Lappie a couple of weeks before his Birthday. Coz he will be travelling to Europe, I want him to bring the new Lappie along then he can Skype me. Giving me the cheeky look... tsk tsk. U know, I very lazy to update now. I've got tons of work to do and I want to complete it. So..

- 4 June -

Let me see.. I can hardly remember the details of the day. :x I think.. We had Subway for Brekkie and did a little grocerry shopping at AMK before we head back to Boyfriend's home. I... nap nap, and he started on his Lego. He lug this back all the way from Germany you know!! Now tell me.. do I have a 31 year old with me or a 13 year old kiddo. Someone super excited... and while his fixing his Lego, he made his Potato Salad. His Secondary School Friends are coming over for a BBQ Birthday Celebration!!

The Secondary School Gang bought him a Birthday Cake.. So cute you know!! Happy Birthday Xiao Pang!! ^^Most of the photos turned out to be quite blur, so well.. ^^ I think I need more rest.. see the Panda Eyes!!

See.. its dark even in flash. Anyway, a group photo!! ^^

Baby Ryan helping Boyfriend with the Candles... ^^

The Guys head back to the House and chit chatted till the wee morning. After which, Boyfriend continue on his Lego. I seriously am very very tired.

- 5 Jun -

Wakie early and I had a full day planned out for Boyfriend!! Pressies from the Secondary School Friends.. More PS 3 stuff.

And while getting ready... my 13 or 31 year old must just play a game or two.

Its raining heavily!! He is scare of Floods while I am scare the rain will ruin my plans. But nevertheless, we followed the schedule and ended up at Prive. Why Prive... keke, coz thats the name of our New Home!

His Brekkie...Her Brekkie..

Well.. I had better Brekkie else where. Totally not worth the distance and price. :xThe rain is too big, there is no way we can take a 'lomantik' walk around Keppel Bay. So we headed down to the next destination - Grand Park Hotel @ Orchard!

But before that.. we make a detour to Goodwood Park coz I just have to pick up this Birthday Cake for Boyfriend. Its Mao Shan Wang one you know!

Happy Birthday my Dear!!

Us... ^^And then.. haha, Boyfriend just slack around the Room eating his Birthday Cake. Its so cute that he dont really wanna share with me you know!!

Made plans for a Korean Dinner at Amoy, but Boyfriend insisted that we should just pack back and eat in the Hotel. I know that Silly Boy thinks I have spent too much and wants to do some budget control. So.. we pack all our Favorite Food and head back to the Hotel for a feast!

- 6 Jun - Woke up to a cold and wet morning.

Had Brekkie at the Hotel.. and we took a stroll, hand in hand at Orchard Road at 10am. ^^ Ultimate Bliss you know!! We bought tickets for a 1pm show..

Just to side track a little.. I had been eyeing this BFF for the longest time ever, and I made Boyfriend buy me 1 after the movie. :x Its nice and I likie!!

- xx Jun -

Meet up with his Uni Hall-mates a couple days later.. Cant really remember the date. :x It was arrange that Dinner will be at NEX. So everyone happily meet at NEX and Bossson (reads: Boss's son) is late. So when he finally called and ask for exact location, he told us he is at Vivo City. *thunder & lighting* Bossson is super cute loh.. the guys all took out their mobile and starts to see when did they every mention Vivo. :x

Anywy.. Bossson took no more then 30min from Vivo City to NEX during the ultra Peak hour and we had a good dinner together.

Watched a show together after the good meal.. But before that, the guys just need to go to arcade and throw some balls. Well, kiddos at heart.

With that.. it ended Boyfriend's Bdae Celebration!! Happy Birthday Darling.. love love! ^^

Dear Bloggie,

I really am keen to update all the stuff here.. I am not exactly that busy, but I also do not understand why I cannot find time to just update this little humble space of mine. Anyway.. some of the events were so far back that I have no idea where to start.. so will just start with the more recent ones.
So so.. QH chose this place: Red Pig @ Amoy. I had wanted to bring Boyfriend here on his Birthday.. but he said that I've spend too much money and said we'll settle on cheaper food instead. I did so much homework before hand!! So well.. was glad that at least we came here to celebrate Bestie's Bdae. The girls... ^^ Not too sure from when it become a tradition of some sort, we will dump all the Boyfriends and the 3 Girls will gather for the Bdae Dinner. We'll make the guys come pick us up after dinner and join us for drinks. At times, more often then not.. the guys are starving. :p Had a big spread of food!! Me Like!!

Me and Bestie... ^^Ordered a slice of cake for her.. What's a Bdae w/o a Cake!! Happy Birthday Darling!!

Lovez, xin.