12th December 2004

At 3.26pm, my grandpa passed awae.. He was admitted into the hospital last wednesdae, coz his not feeling well.. tings went okie, till fridae.. he went into a coma in fridae, and all the wae till sundae, wher he never woke up..

sad.. i am realie sad.. tis is the first time i lost sumone so close to mi.. even thou among all my grandparents, his the most distant to mi. but thn its still hard to let go..

i arrived at the hospital, the doctor has already removed all the equipment which makes him hang on.. coz his breathing is getin weaker, its a choice to either go to icu, wher they will need to use more equipment, poke more pins in him.. and he will at most hang on till nite. Or, to let him go.

So when he go, its a peaceful one.. no pain, no nth.. so slowly, his breathing becums weaker, and weaker, before it stop, and his heart beat getin slower and slower.. till it stops.

ever since his in the hospital since wed, my granny refues to go see him.. even thou after he went into the coma, and tings dun look brite.. tink she already more or less knws wats goin to happen.. maybe they do haf tat 6th sense.. his no matter wat, her soul mate for more thn half a decade. so on sundae, she went dwn to see him.. and tat makes it the last time shes goin to see him alife. it seems like his hangin on for the past few daes for her sake. not wating to let go, till she has cum to see him.. at times, its realie not up to u to believe anot in this will power stuff.. after the doc has plucked out all the equipment frm him, she left the room, and set rite outside the room.. once she left the ward, he aso left..

4 daes has passed since.. i am at the wake everidae.. mondae and tues i got half dae leave, compliments frm my boss.. and wed to fridae i will be on compassionate leave.. so everidae after wrk, i will head dwn to my granny place, and will stay ther till late.. i was ther overnite last nite, w/o slp.. u knw wat.. its alwaes after whn sumting precious is gone, onli thn u will knw how to missed and appreciate it. i regretted not tokin to him more whn his ard.. coz i was never realie close to him, i alwaes shun awae frm him whn he try tokin to mi.. coz i alwaes feel tat ther is no common topic betwn us, and i alwaes got the impression tat his veri strict. bt thn i realie regret it nw.. and after much tinkin, the onli memories i haf with him is a pair of snoopy shoes..

tml will be the dae wher he will be cremeted.. i haf been on and off cryin for the past few daes.. whn sumting triggers mi off.. like whn my granny started singin and cryin.. whn she does tat, noone ard can ctrl their tears.. i guess i will need to pack more tissue tml.. i am realie realie realie upset bout it.. will need to wake up earli tml to see him off for his last trip.. so i goin slp nw liao, didnt slp at all last nite, so feelin tired liao..

Okie, todae is sundae.. i had to wrk half dae yesterdae.. and after wrk xiang came pick mi up frm wrk, after lunch went his hse slp.. slp liao thn he sent mi home, thn he came stay over.. and todae, we aso spent the whole dae slpin.. realie loh.. duno wat got into the 2 of us.. we were just slpin the entire wkend.. tink both of us were just too tired frm wrk.. and all the rushin ard during the wkedaes..

aniwae.. kingsmen was not as good as i tink.. i realie regret leavin DTZ.. haizz.. sat first dae see my boss, coz he out of town mah.. his actualie quite firece, as i was expecting.. his the guy who interviewed mi tat dae.. haizz.. and as expected, the environment ther was realie not as good loh.. i realie regret.. i am definatley the youngest in my department, and i totally cant click with the pple ther.. not tat they are unfrewnly or wat, i got pple to go out for lunch with everidae.. but thn its just not rite loh, and i realie cannot explain why.. last wed, first dae of wrk, and sowly by fridae i already knw my wae ard beta, and i will slowly try to find my wae ard.. coz its like totally noone care wat i doin like tat de.. its like they just leave mi ther with wrk, thn they will teach mi. so u knw de lah, whn it cums to wrk.. thers no formula for it de mah.. u teach mi like tat.. but thn ther will alwaes be cases tat are diff de.. so i slowly go figure it out myself loh.. thn do liao let thm check, thn redo and redo.. its like aso noone realie cares hw much paper i haf waste by printin and printin it all over again.. and noone aso realie concern by my output tat dae.. thn sat my boss came in.. first time see mi, didnt even nicely greet mi like tat.. like i am here is veri li suo dang ran de liek tat.. i mean at least welcum mi abit mah rite..

haizz.. how?? who can tell mi wat to do?? shall i just resigned??

My temp job at DTZ ended yesterdae.. I was feelin kinda sad over it, as i got veri used to the wrk and staffs ther.. its like ermm.. its onli a week, and i feel so i am so one of it.. aniwae, helen(my boss) told mi the door is alwaes open for mi. shld i not like it ther, i am alwaes welcum back to DTZ.. and on the last dae, she gave mi a gift set frm body shop, and i happen to pass by body shop yest, and tat set cost ard 30bucks.. haizz.. she's realie a veri nice boss.. thou its onli a short 2 wks, but thn i actualie kinda missed her..

todae, i started my new job at kingsmen.. ermm.. actualie as expected, the staffs ther is realie not tat nice loh.. i tink i am once again, the youngest in the company. i see noone my age, they all look like they are in their mid 30s to 40s.. those uncles and aunties like tat.. haizz.. so its actualie kinda sianzz.. so i am actualie regretin leavin DTZ.. they are offerin the same pay, but thn wrkin hrs wise, DTZ is lesser.. its like onli 9am to 5.30 durin the wkdaes, and its 5daes wrk.. whick kingsmen is 8.30 to 5.30 and its 5half alt.. so nxt year i might even haf to gif up my p/t job.. its like realie sianzz loh..

The Singapore Idol just ended.. sad to sae, tat stupid sissy malay won.. haizz.. and after the show ended, i came into the rm, onli to discovered tat i left my hp at xiang's hse.. angry angry.. i mean i am already like damn sianz in the new office. and imagine i will be w/o hp tml.. so tat will make my life even more sianzz.. why like tat........

Okie.. It has been quite sum time since i updated my blog.. Much has happened lately.. like since my last update, i actualie found a temp job.. its at Debenham.. its a property firm, actualie its a pretty big organization, my wrkin location is at the toa payoh hdb hub.. which is aso quite near my hse with 2 direct bus.. i haf been ther for less thn 2 weeks, but thn i went MIA for 2 daes liao.. coz rite after i started wrk, i found a new job..

My new job is at kingsmen.. they are a events and exhibition planning company.. ermm.. i tink so lah. but thn its a damn big company.. one of the big players in the feild.. so ermm.. hehe~* quite happie lah.. pay higher thn SWS lah.. tats for sure, and job scope is similar to SWs, but thn tat guy who interviewed mi said other thn wat i did last time, they will be a purchasing role aso.. which i tink its goin to be damn interestin loh.. coz its a post wher all vendors will wan knw u, and all sales will keep cumin to u.. hehe~*

so i resigned my temp job on mondae, mia on tuesdae, thn todae went back to wrk.. thn my head told mi tat she wan to keep mi.. so she offered mi 1.5k, ask mi to consider stay.. ermm.. actualie quite temptin.. coz its like ther wrkin hrs is frm 9 to 5.30pm.. mon to fridae.. but thn in terms of prospect, definatley cannot be compared to kingsmen (frm nw i see is like tat lah..) so aniwae, she ask mi to consider her offer loh.. haizz.. kingsmen is 5half alt.. so means i cannot wrk my part time nxt year liao.. so haizz.. duno lah.. haven get my bonus yet.. no matter wat haf to find waes get my bonues in first.. hehe~*

xmas cumin.. in a mth time.. so fast hor.. i start my xmas shopin liao.. realie looking forward to xmas leh.. duno if xiang have plan aniting for us anot.. xmas will be our first year together.. actualie tis year realie fly.. actualie in fact daes seems to be flyin past as we grow older.. so b4 we knw it, all old liao.. haizz..

ah ben, huiyu's boss in sws sms mi todae.. askin mi for address.. his getin married on the 22nd of december.. and his invitin us to his weddin dinner.. i am realie excited bout it loh.. coz tis means i will get to see alot of my ex-colleauges.. heng by thn i already got a full time decent job.. so at least u knw u knw.. hehe~*

and tis sat, will be my last lesson at morris allen.. so fast, the sch term is cumin to an end liao.. its time to sae our good byes to the teachers.. actualie as times goes, i am realie getin veri used to them.. they are realie all veri nice pple.. so haizz.. with their departure, i will sure miss them..

tml goin wrk again.. damn sian.. tml after wrk meetin qian and andrea at tamp buy prezzie for karen.. thn fridae got dinner with the poly gers.. tink they goin eat ramen.. thn sat celebrate karen's bdae.. so means tat in tis 3 daes time, i might not be able to see xiang.. recentli like keep quarreling with him leh.. duno why.. duno issit mi or issit him.. but thn i aso dun wna like tat de.. why he cannot sensitive abit, thn be nicer to mi abit mroe.. idiot de leh him..

Just reached home.. so damn tired.. actualie much haf happened this 2 weeks.. ermm.. i more or less packed up my room, thou its still in a total mess, changed a new cpu with the help of esther and jere, and aso xiang (he helped to carry the stuff home..) and yesterdae, spent an hour sending out resume, got a call bout 2hrs later, and got a new job in the nxt 2hrs.. so yar.. i will be startin wrk nxt tuesdae.. actualie i cant realie remember wat was written on the job scope, coz everiting came in such a hurry..

todae went to do morris allan, my tat part time.. thn my supervisor linda, fake an mc as tml is hari raya liao, her new year.. so i was like left alone to die.. i was like damn busy the entire dae, but i manage to slog it tru.. and tml, i need to go help out at the jurong east branch.. abit regret agreein to it loh.. but thn haizz.. wat to do.. after getin the new cpu, abit heart ache, so gota do sumting to my 4eva decreasin bank account..

so todae after a long at dae at wrk, thn went to peishan's 21st bdae party at sunset bay.. ermm.. maybe due to the just past rain, the turn out rate is actualie pretty bad.. but thn ermm.. yar.. i took the car out.. and on the wae back i quarrel with xiang. and we left in unhappiness.. i realie hate it whn he kept screamin at mi whn he tinks i am like too near a curb or too near another car.. yar, i mean he haf to tell mi. but thn the wae his tellin mi, or should i sae screamin at mi, is actualie drivin mi nuts.. it not onli makes mi feel damn scare, which i am actualie already feelin.. i mean i aso will get a fright de.. and at times, frm my point of view its actualie save.. his at the passenger seat, so wat he sees it diff mah.. but thn all i can sae is in terms of all these, i tink his not understanding enuff.. he himself aso startin drivin a year ago.. surely he can understand wat am i feelin. he is simply makin mi feel worst. i hate to drive whn his ard now.

i am not goin to compromise on tis. if his not cumin to cum apologise, thn i rather never to tok again.. damn angry..

aniwae.. tired. i wan slp liao.. update again in sum other dae ba~*
good nitezz pple.. wonder how is life in SWS now..

Dear Blog,
Todae is my last dae in the office.. now is onli 9plus, but thn i feelin damn bored.. coz i already got no wrk todae.. how am i goin to last till like 6pm todae?? haizz.. realie hafta REN REn Ren ren!!!
hehe~* now after lunchie liao.. and its 2plus liao.. goin to be 3pm soon.. so ermm 3 hour more to go.. todae haf lunchie at jalan malu malu again.. todae's lunch is compliments by Mr Daniel Woo.. haizz.. the first time i contact him, his not even in my company, his one of the director of Amould Singapore. When fred threw mi to laise with him, i was sooo scare.. hehe~* but thn ever since he came over, bout 5mths ago, i'm realie glad tat fred threw mi to him last year.. coz like tat its like even easier to wrk with him here in sei woo.. coz i am among one of the few who realie know him.. haizz.. time flies.. still remember reade tan, his man, who made mi cry.. i can still remember i was sitin at the bus stop outside my company during lunch, cryin my heart and soul out to xiang.. complaning bout reade, whose my vendor, he actualei scolded mi.. hehe~* tat was even b4 mi and xiang was together..
pple i am goin to miss.. Telian pple.. Jenny jang, mr choi, mr woon.. and of coz mr s.w. kang, who has already left Telian.. thou they are far awae in korea, but thn ermm.. wrkin with thm is one of the biggest accomplishment i ever had.. thanks for fred, who gave mi the chance, to handle them independtly.. its definately not easy, to overcum the language barrier, and aso all the technical stuff tat was so new to mi..
and my V400 project, tat mr lim kok chuan, who has aso left motorola.. he actualie made mi call him everidae, to update him on the progress of my tool.. those were hard times, but thn haizz.. i still missed those daes..
V180.. this is my prized project.. i kicked it off single-handedly with fred.. mr h.s. chia, steven lee, and ermm.. one more guy, bt i cant remember his name.. start with R de.. rex ah.. Rex wat i cnat remember.. its aso coz this project, Fred brought mi to Motorola Singapore to meet them, sit dwn and discuss with them.. tat was like ermm.. i felt so ermm.. good u knw.. haizz.. i was the onli female in the meetin room, they later told mi my presence is neccssary, coz i knw the project inside out, even beta thn Fred or Norman, and aso a lady presence can cool the atmosphere.. so i earn alot, realie alot frm this project.. thou this project, i have handed it dwn to Terence, but thn haizz.. i will still be lookin forward to the V180 out in the market..
Razor.. oopz.. shld be RazR V3.. hehe~* this is another blood and soul project by mi and Fred.. its already in the market, the IN HP tis year.. tis project, is aso one tough project.. coz mi and fred started this project under the table.. w/o approvals, or aniting frm the managment.. its aso frm this project, i realie got to becum frewns with Mr NT Goh frm Watsons, and Daniel Woo, who was still in Amould back then.. tis project started together with the V180.. those were the daes tat i actualie need to stay in the office till like 8plus to finished up my stuff de.. haizz.. now all the repeat tools is goin to jas.. bu she de, but wat can i sae..
and other small small projectis with fred, and his bigbig V600/V300 and V500.. which is left over frm the previous ger.. thn i was transfered to Raymond...
alot of not so significant de projects along the wae, and the nxt big ting is GRASSYKEY.. which is one of the last poject that i took on.. and aso the 1st one i took up with Raymond.. this is the first time i touched on keypad.. and aso they first time i did sooo many modifications to a part.. this project was during my bdae.. i even had to stay in the office till 11pm, and raymond send mi home in his BMW convertable.. hehe~* stayin back on the sat till 3pm, wher i didnt haf time to check in the chalet for my bdae.. leave was denied for my bdae, coz of tis project.. i duno whether tis project will be out in singapore anot.. bt thn its realie not easy.. haizz.. tryin to adapt to raymond's wrkin style, flextronics's inexperience, causing alot of impossible dateline to meet, and aso motorola's demanding request.. this is realie not easy, but thn i still did it.. tis project, thou cumin to a close, but its still not over.. this will be one i will be passin it over to jas.. thou unwillingly, but i dun haf the choice..
Qualcomm, this is a company passed dwn to mi by huiyu.. i took over all her old project.. and on top of tat, in july, i aso started a new one call slingshot.. tis project, will be the first project i did with mr wee, the new project manager, and aso A-jin Engineering, a keypad vendor in Korea.. haizz.. this project, coz of mr wee, i learnt alot of technical stuff tat noone ever had the time to slow time and teach mi.. his patience, never hintin tat i was stupid or wat.. its realie nice wrkin with him.. reliable and can depend on him.. so tis project proceed on veri smoothly.. all coz of him.. whnever aniting screwed up, he will handle is calmly and tactfulli.. tis is realie one ting tat i till now didnt master.. so i guess tis cums with experience ever the years, and will be one ting, i realie hope, i will master one dae..
and aso cannot forget the china pple.. in tianjin and suzhou.. fuxin, whom i finally got the chance to see him b4 i go, coz he was in singapore a couple of weeks back.. and aso wangxia and haijuan.. and aso not forgettin caixia, who is b4 wangxia.. and aso those frm suzhou, dongjin and angel.. last time still got yuyang.. haizz.. all so unforgettable.. whn suzhou havin power failure, i even haf to call them whn they are havin their holidaes, forcing them to go back to the plant to help mi do stuff.. tis is all coz of the grassykey.. but thn haizz.. coz if the grassykey, it realie brought mi closer to them.. guess i will realie relaie miss them..
write till now.. can u feel wat i am feelin.. its not possible to summarised my tis 1year plus in an update.. but thn, tis is the best i could express it out in words.. tis is a veri veir long entry.. but thn ermm.. imagine years dwn the road, when i read it, it will sure brin back alot of memories..
pple tat i have met here, esp huiyu.. is realie treasure tat i have found here.. haizz.. how?? i realie belong here.. to survive one year here is realie not easy.. i am already among the top employees here liao.. its realie the sense of belongin loh.. coz i am the youngest here, and i am by nature damn talkative and loud.. so i made alot of frewns everiwher.. be it thouse already left, or still here.. Mr Te lah, Sherry, Miaofang, Tracy, Xiaowen, Siling, Jas, Fred, and aso not forgetin my ah ger, Huiyu.. tat dae i was clearin my emails, i was still tellin huiyu,' tian, mei you bu san zhi yan xi..' and finally, the dae cum.. will i cry later?? i got no idea.. I still purposely dun put on mascarra todae, just in case i realie cry.. haizz.. mixed feelin.. Guess by Mondae, it will cum on Full force to mi liao..

Dear Blog,
tml is my last dae in the office.. in Sei Woo Polymer Technologies Pte Ltd.. so used to type out the company name liao.. duno how to discribe the feelins.. veri mixed feelins.. actualie i feelin quite sad aso.. funnie rite, at first i dyin to go, thn finalli tml is the dae, but thn i already start to bu she de liao..
actualie todae in the office, i already start to got nth to do liao. so sian.. haiz..but heng, with support frm peishan and esther, and sum other kind souls out ther, i finally endure till 6pm.. which is now.. hehe~*
and realie thank everione here.. fred and mr wee, who still email mi their best wishes, coz they took the flight to china last nite.. haizz.. the first regret i haf here is i didnt haf the chance to bid fred goodbye.. coz i didnt knw he goin to china last nite.. haizz.. and thanks for all the lunches.. michael oon, ivan, sharon, jas, siling.. and ben, fred, and all others who bought mi lunches the entire week..
finally tml is the dae.. aos duno should be hapie or sad.. maybe i shld call huiyu and ask her.. ask how is she feelin back thn, on the 15th july.. i tink onli she, knws hw am i feelin now..
i will continue tml..

Dear Blog,
I am now in the office.. did i actualie tell u tat i resigned? A week frm todae, will be my last dae.. yesterdae i took MC to go for an interview at novena.. the place seemed alrite, its a korean company. the population in it seems small.. but thn pple still looks alrite.. the pay is slightly lower thn i expected, but still higher thn wat i getin now.. so ermm.. mai hiam lah.. hehe~*
xiang aso resigned liao, todae his last dae.. he startin his new job nxt tuesdae.. the new job, is payin him damn high loh, for a fresh grad.. hehe~* at tis rate we both are goin.. tink our dream home will not be tooooo far awae liao.. he told mi last nite he will wrk hard, and will provide for both of us de.. hehe~* sae sae onli but thn i aso hapie lah..
haizz.. rite now, i feelin damn sian.. why still got one more week?? why cant todae be the last dae?? so sian.. realie hate it here.. and thou todae fridae, but tml still haf to go wrk tat part time job.. haizz.. how how?? realie tired.. but for the sake of money, i haf to tahan.. tis is goin to be the last wkend.. after tis week, in fact it shld be after nxt wk, i will be relieve frm all evils.. haha.. sae till like tat..
thn the impt ting is to get my comp up and running again.. and to apply for cable.. haizz.. tink i became damn not IT savvy liao. hard to actualie even believe i actualei grad frm IFC hor.. such a disgrace like tat.. yest mc, i meet huiyu.. thn i saw her lect notes.. her stuff seemed soooo hard leh.. haizz.. now is she see mi good, i see her good.. but thn haizz.. i still miss the sch daes.. but thn its all over, and it will never never never ever cum back again.. but thn cum to tink bout it, my poly daes was aso not tat happie.. sec sch still the best~*!!
aniwae, i am collectin the macdonald's hello kitty leh. i actualie find it so damn cute.. so if anione happen to eat macdonald, pls gimi a call, and help mi buy a kitty kaekae.. i wan to collect the entire collection.. hehe~* but tats goin to be damn fattenin.. yar, and i decided to go sing up for sum programmes after i resign.. maybe yoga, pilates or arobics.. after i end my wrk, i will go dwn and sign up.. hehe~* hopefully its of use loh.. haizz.. i realie need to lose sum weight all ard mi. i can seriously feel a big change in my body.. too much FATS liao ah.. realie realie.. haizz.. i see myself i aso feel so sad ah. i must realei do sumting bout it..
aniwae, after i end my wrk here.. for the time being, i will hang on to my p/t job.. cant let go ah.. and xiang actualie found a beta paid job.. so he can aso help mi out here and ther.. recently keep getin into stupid arguements with him.. haizz.. hw can i ctrl myself frm being so unreasonable leh.. xin ah xin.. u knw u like him de.. but thn why do i like behaves till like i so not treasure this relationship like tat.. funnie hor..
haizz.. cant wait to get out of this place.. I WAN TO LEAVE THIS PLACE!!!!*~~~***~~~!!!!!!
*shit lah.. finaly wait till 6pm liao.. but thn call xiang but cant get tru his line.. IDIOT..*

Dear Blog,

nw sundae, at xiang's hse.. yesterdae earli in the morn went to wrk.. at huiyu intro tat job.. thn earli in the morn wakie, thn went to woodlands.. actualie frm my hse go woodlands, its not as far as i tot.. but thn lah, i haf to sae i dun realie like tat job as much loh.. in fact i already tinkin of givin it up.. my supervisor is a malay lady.. and i tink she's not exactly my idea of a nice lady.. the other stuff ther are all the ang mos.. so they are damn frewnly.. even whn u passed thm sum stuff, they will go like thanking u damn enthuly like tat.. so scarie.. hard to keep up with their enthuness.. but thn wat i scare most is the answerin phone call part.. i scare whn pple call thn i duno hw to answer.. but thn aso cannot stop pple frm callin.. haizz.. but thn no matter wat, i will continue till i find my new full time job de..

so yesterdae, after tat i rushed dwn to pasir ris for xw and mc's bdae party.. actualie ermm.. i tink its a great idea to combine the 2 bdaes together.. xw haf the bbq cathering, and mao have the buffet cathering.. so in the end they like got everyting at the minimum cost.. and coz both frm the same coz, alot of common frewns loh.. so its like ermm.. not bad lah.. but thn i cant help but feel the turn out rate pretty poor.. i tink even mine like got more pple cumin liek tat.. aniwae, actualie i wanted to stay.. but thn i am realie toooo tired liao. after a long dae at wrk.. frm 8.30am to 5.30pm.. and maybe coz its my first dae, so i more tense.. so i got damn drained off after long dae.. so went to xiang's hse, and he sent mi home..

actualie aso not he sent mi home lah.. more of i sent myself home.. hehe~* coz i drove back home. the whole journey home, i onli go at ard 40km/hr.. the max i reached is 60km/hr.. but thn is like 1plus at nite.. so noone realie mind lah.. hehe~* but thn i feel GREAT~*

todae is 10th oct.. serene and yunjia's bdae.. i called thm up last nite to wish thm a happie bdae.. serene got a party todae, sumwher near my hse.. but thn i didnt go.. coz i tink i will not knw much pple ther.. so no point lah. and junjia.. hehe~* a guy picked up the phone, and sae she's in USA now studying.. hehe~* tis is realie sumting i didnt expect loh.. hehe~* my garfeild in USA studying wor.. hehe..

okie.. goin to end liao.. tis evenin goin to my granny hse.. shihao's bdae party.. bought him a railwae set, hope he likes it.. and i tink huili is in hospital.. food poisoning i tink.. didnt hear frm her since mornin... hope she's fine lah~*

Dear Blog,
its mi again.. hehe~* of coz is mi lah.. if not who else can it be rite..
G O O D N E W S
I passed my driving leh.. hehe~*~*and I passed it with an outstand results of onli 12points.. and my instructor told mi actualie his pretty worried bou mi, coz my tester is one of the most nasty one, who seldom pass pple unless they are damn good. cum on loh, tis is my 3rd try, and i haf put in soooo much money and effort into it, how to be no good rite?? hehe~* but thn no matter wat, i still feel damn happie.. but thn xiang haven buy mi my triangle plate yet.. i'm waiting.......
yar.. and todae is xiang's first dae of wrk.. duno hw izzit liao.. hehe~* so just nice lah.. whn i get my last pay slip, he he will aso recieved his pay liao.. thou tis is not the company of his choice, but well, nth is perfect in life rite?? so nemind lah.. and i aso found a part time job.. its at woodlands. under recommandation of huiyu.. its the same as wat she's doin.. the pay is good, and i onli need to wrk on everi sat. so i tink its kinda worth it loh.. so at least i will have a sum of money cumin in till i find my full time job.. hehe~*
wat else.. eermmm.. recentli kinda miss my old frewns.. so i tink after i resigned, i will need to find time to meet thm up for dinner..
7pm liao.. i goin home now liao.. meetin xiang for dinner.. he sure alot of complain de.. first dae at wrk.. hehe~* but he first dae of wrk actualie OT 1hr.. damn horrible like tat.. and OT no pay leh.. so its like not worth it loh.. coz OT no xtra money de.. haizz..

Dear Blog,
I am in the office now.. official wrkin hours is till 6pm.. todae goin to my colleauge's dad's funeral at hougang.. last firdae i have just been to a weddin dinner, my big boss 2nd son, my boss 2nd brother.. ermm.. damn grand loh..

tat nite ah.. after i reach ther, i was kinda glad tat at least i was not seriously under dress like sum.. the pple ther all turned out in buz suit (for the guys) and those long silky gowns for the gers... heng i was at least in a white dress, which dun look veri casual, and a pink shawl.. so at least its sumting.. veri grand loh.. they actualie exchange their vows thn.. and the video clips, everiting was veri sweet..
okie, time to report the dishes.. plase note tat the place is damn class, they actualie show you the dish, and thn they will divide it out into plates and place it rite infront of u..)
suckling pig ( coz they actualei serve u, everione got 2 pcs onli..)
sharkfins with lobster meat ( tis is damn nice. u can realie see and eat the bigbig pc of lobster meat)
scallops with cellery ( 2pcs scallops, 2pcs cellery)
ablone with dun owat mushroom and vege (a slice each)
Prawns (2 each.. its cooked in sum herbal stuff. damn nice.)
chicken ( 2-3pcs )
Steam red goupa (quite a big pcs each)
steam glutinous Rice (1pac each)
and desert loh.. sum cold mango sago.. ( i didnt get to eat it coz i left earli.. but heard and sounds damn nice loh..)
okie. heard frm them, tis is a 900plus plus table.. ermm. the standard of food is high, thou serving damn SMALL>.. and i was hungry after tat.. coz u can realie count hw much food u eat.. like u knw, 2pc piggy, 2 prawns tat sort of ting.. hehe.
Xiang spend the whole weekend at my hse.. ermm.. a nice feelin.. he came to my hse at ard 2am on firdae nite, and has been by my side till i fall aslp last nite.. feel quite sweet lah.. eat creakfast together lah, go dinner together lah.. hehe. aniwae, recently the weather pretty weird, raining while ther's bigbig sun.. realie dun understand the weather..
wed i takin half dae leave.. i got the drivin lesson at 3pm. thn thursdae is my big dae again.. haizz.. 3rd time liao. hopefully can pass. i realie cannot afford to fail liao.. no money to take.. hehe~* but thn ermm.. i tink my skills wise pretty lousy. its like i am not confident like tat..
i am dwn counting to the dae i can leave tis place liao.. hope tat my daes here can FLY.. cant wait to leave. and i realie thank ALL of my frewns. damn supportive.. huiyu found mi a p/t job.. maybe tis sat can start liao.. and dennis was like aso tryin to intro mi to his company.. but thn at clementi.. so tat i realie got to tinktink.. dist too far lah.. hehe~*
I WAN GO BACK AH~* why they soooo slow leh.. haizz.. end here first.. 6.30pm liao.. but thn raymond, my small boss tokin to jas.. so tink its goin to drag........ HelPP..

Dear blog,

I feel so bad now.. in fact i realie feel like cryin.. i realie feel like hiddin in a corner and cry out loud.. why must it be like tis..

OO still dun let mi slp the entire nite. i woke up at 1plus to clear my rm again, coz he poo and pee.. and he actualie steped on his own poo.. after tat he kept wantin mi to wake up.. i duno wat he wan frm mi.. i realie duno.. last nite lizzie aso cum join in the fun. she went under my bed, and growl at OO whenever he tried to cum to my bed to wake mi up.. i was so scare tat she will suddenly spring out and bite him..

so i didnt slp last nite.. i realie duno wat he wants frm mi. i totalli got no idea.. why izzit like tis.
i didnt eat dinner last nite.. and i ate little lunch yest.. fuxin(my subsi sales manager) frm Tianjin came to singapore for sum biz trip.. after tokin to the fone for a year, first time see him.. his due to go bac todae, so had lunch with him yest.. lunch was bad, coz they had curry fish head, so i aso didnt eat.. it was a 13pple lunch.. with all the big shot pple.. so i hardly took ani bite..

so rite nw, i feel so hungry and tired.. my head aches.. it feels as if its goin to split apart. i aso duno if i can get to slp later.. i'm afraid OO will not let mi slp.. and i am hungry.. so veri hungry.. and xiang is not helpin.. i sms him told him lets haf lunch together.. i did not have a proper meal with him for the past one week.. coz i haf been goin home everidae for dinner.. thn he called and tell mi he might be meetin up with the tat guy to buy bike.. so thn i told him thn its okie loh.. i will go home myself, thn i will aso go eat myself.. thn abit of communication breakdwn sumwher, he asked mi to go home slp, he will cum find mi after he settle his stuff.. so i flare.. guess i getin abit short-tempered recentli.. tis is bad.. i knw its bad.. but thn i reallie cannot help it.

i realie duno how to hold myself bac.. and i realie feel veri upset.. upset over OO, over why OO dun let mi slp at nite, over why he haf to keep peein and pooin, over why he have to step on his own pee and poo, upset over why lizzie is so hostile towards OO, over why do i haf to wrk, over why they didnt wait to eat dinner with mi yesterdae resultin in mi end up w/o dinner coz i wan to attitude the whole world. my head pain pain, and yet nth i can do.. all i wan do is to let my tears flow dwn, but even for tat, i cant let it happen. i feel so useless.. why cant i just let the tears flow dwn.. i am realie tired..

Dear Blog,
Think its been quite sumtime since i haf updated tis.. end of mth cumin liao.. aniwae, much has been happenin recently..
Xiang just called and told mi OO eyes not doin too fine.. how?? why like tat? last sat, i went to suntect with xiang for the food fair.. thn actualie mummy aso wan cum de.. thn while waitin for mummy, thn she suddenly called, and sae OO hurt his eye again. just like last time, his eye pop out. but last time is the rite eye. now is the left eye. so we immediately rush him to the vet. coz its like 4plus on a sat, thn all the vets are closed, so we could onli brin him to mount pleasant. which turned out to be totally not pleasant..
so like last time, the vet sew up his eye lids, to keep his eyeball in the socket. and OO was made to stay a nite ther.. thou i insisted on brinin him home, but they wan to keep him for observation. tis time round, the vet said tat OO will not longer see. he will becum blind.. actualie the last time round whn he hurt his rite eye, we already knw his rite eye could no longer see, his simply depending on his left. and now his left aso ...
realie veri upset loh.. realie veri upsettin.. OO realie veri bao bei to mi loh.. realie duno how to describe.. his my first doggie.. and havin lived with him for like 3years plus..
tis one week is definatley not an easy week. i hav to get up earli in the morn b4 goin to wrk coz need to clear the mess OO made.. coz he cannot see, so he cant find his wae to the papers to pee and poo.. so he just do it round the hse.. u knw hw tedious is tat.. th ni nw everidae after wrk, i will simply rushed straight home, to see him. and aso to clean up the hse. i almost sweep and mop the livin rm everidae, and wash the kitchen floor like twice a dae.. i duno if tis goes on, can i take it anot.. heng xiang is clearin leave, so he came over everidae to help mi keep an eye on OO and lizzie whn we are all at wrk. he will cum my hse ard 9am, thn will onli leave after puttin mi to bed..
i realie thank him for it.. i realie realie appreciate it. if not for him, tink tis week is realie goin to be veri veri jia lat.. coz if not for him, there might be a even bigger mess waitin for mi whn i go home everidae after wrk.. but aso bo bian for xiang.. coz its his bao bei's bao bei..
so my poor OO.. realie veri poor ting. anione who sees him now will heartache.. it realie break my heart to see him like tat.. so he just called and tell mi OO stitches seems to be splittin open. Mummy is rushin home now, to brin thm to the vet.. to check on the eye. so worried. and i am onli stucked here, wherby i can do nth for thm..
they just finish seein the vet.. the vet sae his condition looks fine.. why is ther an opening is coz the swell subside, thus it lossen up. so its a good ting.. so at least tat puts my mind to rest..
so for the past one week, i spend my time in the office or at home. i rushed home everidae after wrk.. didnt even go aniwher.. suddenly feel like i am such a good ger.. but thn hor.. mondae i took urgent leave to stay home accompany OO.. thn in the morn whn OO slpin, i did sum hsewrk.. i filled a pill with water, and start to clean the hse.. i tink whn i cleanin the shelf tat hold the tv, tink i moved the wires.. and frm mondae till now, my tv went black and white.. xiang and ben did everiting they could to make the color cum back, but thn nth they did could brin the tv bac.. so since thn, i haf been watch the black and white tv.. the 7pm show, the 9pm show.. the singapore idols, all in blank and white.. my mum hide in her own rm, see her color tv, while mi and xiang haf onli the black and white tv.. my daddy cumin back tml.. duno he will scold mi anot.. hehe.
actualie tis whole week, i spend less thn 5bucks.. realie money savin loh. but thn all my savings gone.. all went into the bills for OO eyes.. abit heartache, but even more heartache for my OO..
goin to be 5pm soon liao.. but thn raymond is in the office todae. so i duno if i can go back on time.. recentli he awae for a conference. so i haf goin home almost before 6pm everidae.. todae he is ard.. i wonder is i can aso go bac b4 6pm.. i is dyin to go bac and see OO.. actualie even he in tis condition nw, but thn i still find him cute. i realie cannot imagine how am i goin to live with him for the rest of his life.. i realie tink its quite tedious to look after him now. requires alot of effort and time.. and lotz of tender lovin care.. realie not easy.. but thn no matter wat, aso cannot gif up on him. since the first dae i took him in, i will never turn him out..

Dear Blog,
Ermm, since why is the last time i updated the blog.. ermm.. quite long liao. how haf xin been recently?? Bad. Veri bad. Once again, i didnt manage to plucked up enugg courage to resign. so i'm feelin so disappointed with myself. realie disappointed and angry with myself.
well, put that aside ba. i guess everione is used to mi sayin i wan resign but i am still here rite, so its nth new to you pple aniwae.. i am in the office now. recentli i am feelin quite free. coz for my Grassykey project, i am no longer the center person. the motorola guy has gone dwn to suzhou with raymond, and frm there they haf sorted out alot of tings.. and aso frm then on, for ani issues, they will just cc angel in the emails, thus saved alot of troubles on my side to be repeating the same story over n over again.. but coz tis, i am feelin bored.. nth much to do.. so i am realie stuck here, tryin to clear all my paper wrk. which is bored. veri veri bored.
ermm.. xiang todae goin for an interview.. at bugis.. guess its either his havin the interview now, or his still waitin.. actualie i aso duno wat job izzit.. hope its sumting good thou..
tml i goin zouk.. ermm.. clubbin.. why do i feel so old like tat.. actualie i am still veri young mah. but thn why do i feel so old.. sumwho, write till here liao, i find this entry abit funnie.. but thn no doubt, i am still lookin forward to the clubbin trip. its realie a nites out for the gers, and we can all haf fun..
thursdae i am hopin to get an mc.. but thn raymond ther duno can take it anot. actualie i am quite a bad wrker hor.. on average i gets an mc once a mth.. i scare raymond will start to attitude.. at times he is just like a kid.. haizz.. i am feeling giddy now. the whole world seems to be spinin, round and round.. heng todae xiang is cumin to pick mi up frm wrk..
recently i received sms frm alot of long time no realie contact frewns.. haizz.. those daes wher i cna alwaes meet thm out as and whn i lke is gone.. nw with xiang ard, its realie harder to keep up with certain frewns.. the onli pple i have been meetin on a regular basis are my poly frewns.. pple like emi, esther and xingwei and huili..
last sun is xiong's bdae.. sista finaly 22 liao.. sat nite he treated us dinner.. a seafood dinner.. got crabbies, steam fish, tiger prawns, the pai ku wang and the froggie legs.. quite a spread loh.. thn i bought him a cake.. so at least tat dae saw sista, jonas and roy.. my long time no see A,B and C..
thn clement sms mi the yest for a show.. will try to an pai abit, so cna meet up with him.. tink didnt see him since emi's bdae party.. haizz.. i wan see everione.. duno how is everibody.. todae is a frewn's bdae.. guorong bdae.. haf not even sms him for i tink the past one year.. wonder how is he.. used to be quite close to him, whn i was still in sec sch.. i can still remember.. he treats mi like a xiaomeimei like tat.. his the first one who gave mi my first necklace.. and i still kept it.. still remember he told mi tat the bought mi tis necklace, coz ther's the purple stone, which is meant to bless mi with intelligence in sch wrk.. my 15 year old bdae prezzie.. actualie he is realie a frewn whom i knwn soo long, and quite close, but thn we are alwaes frewns, those brotherly and sisterly feeling frewns.. so nice to haf frewns liek these.. later i tink i will go sms him, wish him hapie bdae..
and did i mentioned tat i forgot to brin my hp out todae.. i realie duno wats wrong with mi liao.. twice in a week.. xiang's been tellin mi i am changin frm ginko nut to pea nut liao.. i am losin my memory.. cannot take it..
actualie i realie find it nice to keep blogs like tis.. not for anione's info, but for xin to read years dwn the road.. imagine after i successfulli leave tis place, i will be readin this blog, and sences of tis place will be floating out frm my brain.. and yar.. ah ger's granny passed awae.. tis couple of years realie not her year.. all her grand-parents are leavin her one by one like tat.. aniwae, haizz.. after she left office, thn i realised tat wat a good frewn she is.. normalli haf to wait till times like tis, thn will knw who treats u best.. frankly speakin, i tink she treats mi beta thn andrea and all.. whn asked who is my best frewn, it will be andrea and qian. but thn how much of thm do i knw now.. its like i realie duno who are they hangin ard with lah, and all of these stuff animore.. like qian took up wind-surfing.. quite surprising loh, coz i tot she is just as in-door as mi de, but thn now she doin all these out-door sports..
who is my best frewn now?? i aso got no idea.. ah ger treats mi as her zhi ji.. i like tis feelin. it makes mi feel important. i am important in her life.. but wat bout my "Best Frewn". Karen didnt even cum to my bdae party. I have to call and call to get thm in coz i wan to cut the cake, And ah ger left crying, coz she cant bear to leave mi, and emi and the rest already standby to take pics liao.. u knw wat i mean, so frm tis senerio, who are my best frewns?? my bdae party, in the end onli the poly pple stayed overnite.. the nxt dae we went to WWW.. wat bout my "Best Frewns"?? all rushin off coz they got their own programss.. andrea meetin new guys, qian got wind surfin the nxt dae.. haizz.. u knw wat i mean..
well, its 5.46pm now liao.. xiang said he will cum pick mi up at 6.30pm.. so i got 45min more to go.. but thn i dun feel like wrkin liao leh. but thn i dun dare leave too.. so i shall just continue stay on, write my blog..
finally, no matter how difficult it is, time still pass.. now is time to fang gong.. guess xiang is on his wae to my office. later duno wher we goin for dinner.. yest my colleauges told mi i slim dwn *smile*.. must be the effort of mi eatin either loti or nth for lunch..
hafta keep up the good effort.. todae aso loti for lunch. so later goin for dinner.. will try to curb, will not eat aniting too heavy..

Todae is 18th august 2004, Wednesdae. time is 6.24pm. I am still in the office, waiting for xiang to cum pick mi up frm wrk..

and i am feelin damn miserable.. not realie miserable lah.. just tat i am unhapie loh.. nth goes rite todae tat feelin loh.. just dun feel good loh.. in a damn bad mood todae. damn low morale.. i duno how to express wat i am feelin now. and i aso duno how i wan to be comforted.. maybe a tub of ice cream will do mi good ba..

sad.. realie sad. suddenli got the mood to wan resigned again.. the urge to leave once and for all is strong.. veri strong.. who can help mi? who can rescue mi frm all tis??

Tribute to Mr Quah.

This will be an entry for Mt Quah.

I duno how old is he, but i guess he have devoted majority of his life to education. To St Anthony's Convent.

News of his death really cums as a surprise. I dun understand how can a P.E. teacher as healthy as him will lose his life to aniting. He moved on yesterday, 2nd August 2004. I don't knw how old is he, but definately not a young chap animore.. Alot of ex-sacians turn up at his wake yesterdae. and i believe more will turn up the following 4 days as the news spread.

Mr Quah, my memory of him brings mi back to the old SAC at Middle Road. Back thn when we have the century old building, and haf to share the canteen with the secondary school(i was still a primay one student back in 1990). In the middle of out canteen was the tennis court. and tat was his prized tennis sch team training ground. the gers will be training, with him monitoring thm, correctin heir moves. he was alwaes a strict teacher, so students alwaes live in fear ard him. But deep dwn, everione knows even thou he pose out a strict and nasty front, but deep dwn he cares for everi student in his care.

He is the one teacher that everi SAC ger will ask whn meet together. Even whn i go over to huishan's hse, her sis(who is about 13 years my senior) will ask mi how is Mr Quah, is he still teaching in SAc and stuff liek tat.. He has became a symbol of SAC in everi sacian. Even for those that were not directly under his care and all.

Looking at him yest, lying in the coffin.. bring tears to my eye. but I hold on my tears, as his a catholic. I believed he haf entered God's embrace, and haf moved onto the nxt step of his life. But i reallie feel so sad knowing his existance on earth is gone. he has lost majority of his hair, and wat remain is just a few wismp of white hair.. his face looks so pale, so old. Its reallie different frm wat it is 5 years ago, frm wat i last seen him.

So this will be the last tribute to Mr Quah.

Dear blog,
Its mi again. Todae is mondae, first mondae of august. And actualie as my last entry was sayin, i wanted to update my blog on my bdae de.. but thn seems like i realie dun haf time for it.. recentli i am like damn busy, with wrk, with xiang, with everiting.. so its realie hard to find time for all these updating stuff.. but thn as tis is my 21st bdae, i realie hope to spare sum time, as memories loh..
so on tat dae, i actualie haf OT till ard 2plus 3pm.. so after tat xiang was waiting for mi outside my company to pick mi up.. thn after i went home, thn pack my stuff for the chalet. actualie its my big dae, but thn to a certain extend i was totali un-prepared for it. like my clothes and all. i just grab wat i see.. so i went to ntuc with xiang, to buy some of the bbq food.. thn we went dwn to Aranda liao. whn i reach all my aunties were ther liao.. thn the cathering food aso came in. thn they were settin up the fire for the bbq.. actualie ther's actualie quite alot of food leh.. like the bbq got fish, satay otah and my fav crab meat and others.. thn the cathering aso not bad lah, thou i didnt realie haf the chance to eat it..
the crowd was great.. actualie quite alot of pple turn up.. but thn i guess i was a pretty bad host. i knw i left quite alot of pple out.. my poly frewns the whole big bunch of thm came with maocheng and amos. andrea and qian they all came.. sec sch a few of thm came.. even ade so gif face, she aso came dwn.. thn well, ermm.. she looks fine lah. i haf to sae she's realie blessed with a pretty face.. and who else.. huishan huifeng they all came dwn.. and serene loh.. my primary sch bunch came.. and who else.. let mi see.. hengheng came.. banming aso came.. yz aso came.. and i tink still got others.. thanks so much kae everione.. realie too long a list for mi to list it out one by one.. but thn its all their presence tat make it a success.. oh yar.. xiuhong came too.. and u knw wat, i tink i didnt see her since we grad frm sch. so its realie nice to see her loh.. imagine its 4years after we left sec sch.. realie a rare opportunity loh.. to see everione.
and i simply love my cake. its realie realie pretty. i will try to upload the pics here. the pics still in the camera.. hehe, no time to go transfer it to the comp. actualie i realie like the cake alot alot .. i took alot of pics with it.. and i tink i look pretty in the pics.. hehe~* my hair realie ting hua tat dae.. i realie hada damn good hair dae.. tat realie falls damn nicely in place.. so its realie a perfect party. i mean i am realie happie..
prezzie~* i recieved alot of prezzie.. among which my fav is the one frm xiang.. my darling actualie gang up with huiyu, they went to buy the diamond pendent tat i once mention to ah ger tat i like it. its a butterfly pendent.. its realie pretty, and i am wearin it since.. and ah ger they all got my a white gold braclet.. which they ask mi to wear it, so i am still wearin it till now.. and esther they all got mi a Guess watch.. its a veri veri pretty watch, look damn class and all.. and oh yar.. tis is another of my fav, a LV voucher. huili and my tommy they all got mi the LV voucher.. hehe~* huili understand mi the best. so the following dae i used the voucher to buy the LV coin pouch, which i have been wanting for years.. aniwae, tommy they all aso came.. tink i didnt mention it earlier on.. and andrea they all got mi a bikini.. which is like 100over bucks.. the size doesnt for mi aniwae, so i went back to flash and splash and exchanged it for a yellow bikini and a board shorts.. the list will go on and on.. i realie got qutie alot of stuff.. and i realie love it pple.. thank you sooo much~*
so the poly pple stayed over nite with mi loh.. the chalet was realie great.. it was big, andhad 2 bathrooms.. its realie nice. huili they all played mahjong halfwae tru the nite, while i went to slp.. i was realie tired.. thn i guess they actualie played PS2 till the nxt morn with my brother..
thn we went for macdonald breakfast together, thn went back to chalet for the mahjong.. while xiang went back to my hse to pick up my bikini.. coz we wan go to the wild wild wet.. hehe~* its fun~* realie nice if you go with a grp of frewns loh.. so we went to played almost all the rides ther.. amocheng was so funnie.. he realie damn entertaining.. recentli he veri into our class gathering. but thn his a nice guy. like his company.. before he go dwn the "blackhole", he still put his hand up in the air and went, " yoo hoo~*" and all the nonsense.. so its realie nice to haf him ard at times like tis..
so after tat, everione was so tired, thn went bac to the chalet for a nap.. so they left one by one, left mi and xiang.. finalli we had sum time to ourself.. and tat marks the end of my 3dae 2 nite bdae celebration. and thank you everione, its coz u pple which make my bdae celebration a success. i realie had a memorable 21st bdae owning to you all~* thanks!!
*PS* i realie love my cake.

Todae is 28th July.. tml is my bdae.. actualie wanted to sae how hapie i am durin my bdae party and all my stupid wishes for my 21st bdae.. but thn sum idiot stuff happen todae and totaly, utterly dampen my mood.

todae is the freaking dae tat i  took my drivin test.. and as the weather is, todae is realie a bad dae.. the stupid sky like wan rain dun wan rain like tat.. rain abit thn stop abit.. see liao aso sian. dun even knw if my wipper shld be on or off.. damn idiotic loh.. so well.. i fail. 2nd time liao. damn low morale now. why like tat.. if u seein wat i'm typin now, thn DUN EAT MY ICE CREAM~!

haizz.. i fail. i fail i fail i fail...... how?? duno. retake loh. damn sian. tml my bdae and i hafta go bac to wrk.. i aso duno i sian and unhapie bout wat.. but thn i realie dun like the idea of failin.. its a total waste of money and time. i realie hate sacrificing everi sundae of mine goin dwn for tat 2hr lesson.. waste of money and time. let mi sae it again. waste of my precious money and time. the timing aso in the middle of nowher like tat.. thn my sundae gone. why did i fail.. the tester tat i had was actualie a nice man. cant remember his name.. but thn his a jolly old man. maybe not tat old lah.. late 40s to late 50s like tat..

damn sian.. DUN EAT MY ICE CREAM~*~*~* aniwae.. sum ice cream theif beside mi. so i shall stop here.. tml i shall continue in the office.. if i am free.. i can actualie see my mountainous load of wrk.. duno how many hundreds of unread emails waitin for mi.. why i so bad life.. and guess wat?? tml is my bdae.. and tat ice cream theif just reminded mi how hapie was my chalet.. hw nice was my bdae party.. oh yar.. i love my cake. i had a damn wonderful cake.. maybe i shall figure out how to post a pic here.. and i shall show the world how simply WONDERFUL and BEAUTIFUL is my cake.

ending here. HAPIE BIRTHDAE to MI~~~~*

Dear Blog,
Todae is mondae.. 19th July. Its 10daes awae frm my bdae. so exciting leh.. went to my granny's hse last nite, to celebrate huimin's bdae.. i bought her a winnie the pooh watch and a skirt. the skirt is so pretty, but thn tink its too small for her liao.. haizz.. yest i spend quite alot of time shoppin at isetan after my drivin lesson, to shop for her prezzie.. actualie kiids realie got veriveri pretty clothes leh.. so nxt time realie must haf a ger. their stuff nicer.. i can everidae brin my ger go shopin, i wan doll her up like a princess.. hehe~*
thn at my granny's hse, thn they discuss bout the food to order.. and seems like i've got to pay for it.. haizz.. tis mth is realie a tite mth for mi.. cake i aso order liao.. i order the cake which among all i like best.. but thn its damn big.. so i scare cannot finish leh.. but thn nemind lah.. actualie tis mth is realie a bad mth for my financial.. i got the food to pay, and aso my driving.. and i already spend 200over on my hair.. xiang is goin to pay the cake for mi.. but thn i still veri broke.. so i tink high chances is end of the mth my drivin test he will haf to pay aso..
well, dun tok bout money liao. hehe~* bdae cumin wor.. reallie excited bout it leh.. duno how to express it out.. realie lookin forward to tis sat.. especialli the long holis tat is goin to follow.. i took leave all the wae to 29th july.. can realie take a nice long break liao.. hehe~*
these couple of weeks, alot of pple cum ask mi wat i wan for my bdae.. so hapie.. i mean its the tot tat counts loh.. even if its just askin.. but thn best is prezzie aso cum lah.. tis year i didnt prepare ani wish list.. maybe wat i wan most is cash.. hehe~* ermm.. so wat i wan.. see if i am able to tink of a wish list b4 i fang gong.. time is 2.05pm now.. cum to tink of it, its realie not easy..
time : 4.10pm.. actualie funny leh.. nowadaes my time passes faster.. even if i got nth to do in the office.. it used to be horrible.. these couple of weeks is realie hectic for mi.. now tis sudden peace, i abit not used to it.. last thursdae i even stay in office till 10.45pm thn leave office.. did i mention tat my boss sent mi home.. in his BMW convertable.. hehe~* first time sit BM convertable.. and he sent mi all the wae to my hse.. the feelin so good.. tat car realie nice.. pick up speed damn fast. damn comfy leh.. hehe~* OT aso worth it..
todae goin dinner the raymond.. his not goin to my bdae party, so he asked mi out for dinner todae to make it up.. so todae not meetin xiang.. i got the urge wan go amk eat tat prwan noodle leh.. tat prawn noodle so damn nice.. i strongly intro u go eat.. its at the S21 tat kopi tiam ther.. prawn noodle soup.. its 3bucks.. but thn got 2 veri big prawns.. i realie like it.. tml i will go eat with xiang.. hehe~*

Dear Blog,

Todae is such a boring dae.. i alwaes hate cumin to wrk on a sat.. till now raymond(my boss) haf not cum in yet.. realie hate it whn he alwaes cums in ard 11plus, thn load mi so much wrk thn i need to OT de.. sat leh.. his GF air stewardess, so alwaes flyin ard, not in singapore, so he can afford to be workaholic abit.. but thn i different mah.. i got alot of commitments to make mah.. like i got 2 cutie doggies waitin for mi at home.. haha.. sae till so ... like tat.. but thn nemind nemind..

now 10.25am onli.. still got 2hr more to go.. raymond ah raymond, if you wan, thn cum in now.. if not thn dun cum liao hor.. actualie got 2 tools i need to start by todae.. but thn the database haf not been comfirmed yet.. and w/o him ard, i aso cant start the tool.. scarli use sala database thn jia lat liao.. but thn if dun start todae, i aso scare will miss the dateline leh.. how huh.. so contridicting leh.. haizz.. nemind lah.. aso cant help it.. pple dun wan gimi database i aso lanlan ah..

todae 3rd july liao leh.. in 20 daes time, i will be celebrating my bdae.. actualie i gettin excited.. but thn still got alot of tings not settled yet.. like food and cake.. *oh shit.. the time now is 10.42am, and i recieve the first email frm my boss.. in another word he just woke up.. and chances his cumin in is damn high.. and lookin at the time, he will cum in ard 12plus.. omg!!* yar..as i was sayin, i haf not got all the bdae stuff intact.. actualie i aso duno wat shld i do.. aniwae, i decided to get the angie the choice bigbig key cake.. they all told mi i happie can liao.. and my poly frewns say they will comfirm finish the last bit of everi everiting.. hehe~* so i will order tat 180plus cake.. i mean i am onli 21st once, so spend abit nemind lah hor.. hehe~* thn by end of nxt week, i need to get the list of pple cumin ready, thn let my auntie knw the total amount of pple cumin so we can start order the food, and aso i haf to start plannin wat food to take.. hehe~* thn after tat meet ah-jo go order the cake.. hehe~* hope tat it will be a completed success.. realie hate those pple who last min last min thn tell mi cant make it and all de.. i mean alot of effort and time are put into it loh.. so its a matter of how u goin to appreciate it loh..

yar.. see more mails frm my boss, thn it stopped.. means he go prepare and all liao. so i tink by 12noon he will cum in.. alwaes like tat de.. todae to mi lah, its a no plan dae.. mummy will not be in town.. so tonite will be home alone.. actualie aso will not alone lah.. got OO and lizzie to accompany mi mah.. hehe~* with my 2 bao beis ard, my nite will never be alone.. yar.. todae xiang sae wan go gym.. but thn i tink high chances is i will be too tired and dun wan go.. or maybe we can go swim leh.. the weather seems not bad leh.. i shld start to excercise abit liao.. getin fatter n fatter liao.. or maybe i shld go do my hair.. wkdaes got tat promo realie is cheap.. but thn to get leave frm raymond is IMPOSSIBLE~* so i decided to try maybe jeanyip or sumting.. i might go ask a few saloon, get the price and see which falls in the 200plus abit range.. well, but all these can onli be done whn i'm not in a lazy mood later loh.. now 11.28am liao.. the whole mornin actualie i did noting much.. just tryin to clear abit of of paper wrk, which frankli speakin is not much loh.. hehe~*

realie lookin forward to my wkend. tml i will slp in late late.. hehe~* but thn sian lah, tml got drivin lesson.. realie dun like drivin lesson.. hate goin to it sooo much.. hehe~* my database for one of the tooling just came in.. and my boss actualie emailed and acknowledge the customer.. so tis means his still at home.. hehe~* now 11.55am liao, if he still at home means his not cumin in todae liao.. even if he cums in, aso pass 12.30pm liao, thn i aso not ard liao.. tis is one of the best saturdaes i ever had.. in fact tis is quite a pleasent week for mi.. everidae seems to pass pretty smoothly and fast and all..

goin 12noon liao.. 1more min to go.. tink i will post tis up first.. saturdae leh.. i realie cant wait to go home.. hehe~* aniwae todae euro2004 finals. greece vs portugal.. i side bet with ryan tat greece will win.. and loser will haf to pay for an ktv session.. hehe~* so Greece please buck up, and carry on with ur fairytale ba~* dun make m lose a ktv session.. last time i lost a dinner to him liao.. so tis time i dun wan lose a KTv to him again.. hehe~* keep havin a feelin tis half hour will be so damn hard to pass.. duno why.. xiang just woke up, so his not cumin to pick mi up.. well, thn he ask mi go home and wait for him.. sian lah, a sat thn ask mi go home wait.. i knw everi sat my daily routine is either to go his hse napnap or go my hse napnap abit.. but thn haizz.. duno lah..

Dear Blog,

Didnt realie haf time to update this for quite sum time. So here am I, tryin to get a few lines in.. Actualie the time now is 3.10pm.. So I guess it will be more thn a few lines.. hehe~* yar.. overall, todae is an okie dae in the office.. my mood still okie.. not too good, and not too bad..

just had abit of arguement with xiang.. Actualie aso not arguement lah, coz didnt even hear his voice.. its just over the sms.. duno wat he wan aso.. i mean i just told him i'm feelin tired.. got that teeny weeny tinny feelin tat i dun wish to go to the poly dinner at scotts todae. thn he actualie sms mi tell mi to make my decision quick and he ended the sms with a Thanks!. this makes mi abit pissed loh.. i mean we haf to be so damn polite to each other meh?? thn i told him i dun like the wae his sms are.. so cold and unfeelin.. thn he replied bac said he dun wan his frewns to be back-up.. like coz he not too sure whether his mtin mi anot.. thn he cant comfirm with his frewns if his mtin thm.. well.. for this i understand.. but thn the wae he said it its like damn polite, damn unfeeling and i simply dislike it. so i replied bac sae nemind loh.. i go or dun go tonite aso my prob. final statement is i not mtin him tonite. so it doenst matter to him if i were goin or not..

well.. todae 22nd liao.. in bout a mth time, will be my bdae tingy liao.. hope all the invited ones will cum.. actualie i aso realie send out the sms to pple to start invitin thm.. last evenin i smsed my sec/pri sch frewns.. actualie quite happie loh.. a few of thm readily agreed to cum, and even offered to help out.. but thn tats the minor.. majority of thm haf not replied.. haizz.. i mean to organsized such stuff needs lotza effort.. i cant be chaing eveione for it. for those who didnt replied and all thn suan le.. i will not waste precious time n effort on these pple de..

so my poly frewn more or less they all knw liao.. colleauges i see thm everydae, so they aso not a prob.. left those frewns.. intend to send the smses over the wkend de.. but thn in the end aso didnt.. nemind.. maybe i will effort abit more, and send it out tis evenin..

feelin damn tired. actualie recentli i felt so damn tired.. i wonder if i am sick or sumting.. realie tink i need plenty of rest.. last sat he came pick mi up frm wrk.. thn i went to his palce and i slpt till ard 5pm.. thn wake up liao aso didnt do aniting thn went home liao.. thn ard 12am i went to bed liao.. so actualie i slept alot mah.. but thn sundae morn he woke mi up at 7plus.. coz he need to make a trip home first.. thn frm thn i wakie till 9plus, he buys mi breakfast thn ard 11 i went bac to slp till 1plus i wakie go bath thn drivin.. but thn i realie dun understand why i still so tired..

feelin like resignin here, thn start all over again. got the feelin tat job is not hard to find now.. so i tink its realie worth a try to get out of here, and start all voer again.. actualie plan to tender in aug.. but thn tink might make it in 1st july.. realie tired liao..

didnt realie write for the past hour or so.. went up to find my Miii and we tok awhile.. well.. the time now is 5.43pm.. time to go bac liao.. and i aso leavin soon liao. but thn nw i duno shld i go home?? or shld i go mt emi they all.. actualie i'm rather lazy, and would realie prefer to go home.. but thn haizz.. already promised the gers i'll be goin dwn liao.. scare they will be angry leh.. howhow?? nemind, let mi tinktink first..

its been quite sum time since i've been updatin my blog.. ermm.. the time is now 4.38pm on my pc clock.. its bout an hour to fang gong.. todae after werk goin to ktv to celebrate josephine bdae.. at cck leh.. damn tired nw, thn still haf to go so far.. sian ah.. the last wkend was quite fullfillin.. sat after wrk xiang came to office to pick mi up.. raymond hold mi up abit.. thn whn i went out, his actualie wipin the car.. hehe.. thn sat i was in a pretty bad mood.. we quarrel abit on sat.. so after tat we went tamp to eat lunchie, and thn walk ard abit.. i bought a new hp pouch leh.. hehe.. its been quite sum time since i've been usin hp pouch.. but thn for the sake of my new hp, so i bought a pink hp pouch.. so hapie.. so pretty.. after tat go his hse, thn i nap nap abit.. thn tat idiot woke mi up. but thn nemind lah.. we slack ard abit, thn went to bendemeer ther buy helmet.. he bought mi a new one.. so in future if he in camp, aso can cum pick mi up in his bike.. thn no need to wear his.. hehe~* thn went to bugis.. catch a show ther. saw the tu ran fa cai.. actualie its quite a nice show leh.. not as bad as i tot initalli.. hehe~* thn went pebble bay slack abit.. thn went to huili hse for my mahjong session..

the mahjong we play over nite ah. so tired.. played with clement, huili and deyuan.. actualie deyuan is aso quite a nice guy lah.. thn the guys were watch soccer.. actualie i aso duno much bout soccer de.. but thn yar.. play play abit.. first round of mahjong i won abit.. thn after tat went to for supper.. but thn i was damn hot and sticky.. so xiang send mi hoem to bath and change.. thn after tat he sent mi dwn to yio chu kang ther to meet thm.. thn he went home thn huili drove us to her place.. frm thn, we played till 9.30am ah.. after the whole nite, i lose 2bucks. we took a cab home, thn reach home ard 10am.. thn i cant slp leh.. i was real tired, i lie on bed and read my magazine.. read till i fall aslp.. i aso duno wat time i slp. i slp till xiang call mi at 1plus to wake mi up.. coz we have to go to my cousin place.. his baby's full mth.. i was realie reluctant to wake up.. but thn realie bo bian.. so i wakie, thn bath, thn he came over to my place, thn my mummy came back and pick us to his hse..

the baby cute leh.. baby called kaixuan.. its a boi.. thn heard frm my cousins this year got 4 babies cumin.. and this is the first.. hehe.. got 3 more on the wae.. so excited.. wonder whn its my turn.. hehe~*

thn after tat i wan go out walkwalk, coz if not like my sundae wasted liao.. but thn in the end too tired liao, so i went home and slp.. thn reach home 5plus, thn i realie is knock out with xiang.. too tired liao. thn xiang 7plus wakie, thn he aso wake mi up.. so the whole wkend is he wakie earlier thn mi thn he wake mi up.. so i so lack of slp all his fault ah.. hehe~* thn i wakie pei him loh.. thn i slack ard abit, thn went dwn to ntuc to buy sum stuff.. buy till i actualie quite happie leh.. bought toilet paper, instant noodle, the sprite ice, and i bought those cup jellies.. long time no eat liao.. thn we go home cook instant noodles eat.. coz i acutalie not realie hungry lah, coz my cousin he order those buffet catherin.. thn he order a lunch and high tea.. so by the time i arrived at 3plus, just nice got lunch and high tea food.. damn nice ah.. so i aso hungry mah.. the nite b4 didnt eat dinner.. we bought chips to the cinema.. thn after tat the supper i aso never eat coz i go home bath.. yar.. so like tat loh..

after tat i tried to see vcd usin my comp.. tink my comp realie is cancer last stage liao.. cant even see vcd.. thn i aso cant log on to the net.. i realie fed up leh.. everiting aso cannot.. duno wats the comp for.. so we see the vcd on the vcd player.. i see till i wan fall aslp.. so xiang stop the cvd, thn he cleared the stuff, thn sent mi to slp thn he went home liao..

so tats my entire wkend.. hehe~* actualie not a too bad wae to spent it loh.. its like every min is utilized.. nw i in the office still.. goin to leave soon liao.. to my ktv session liao.. hehe~*

Dear Blog,

Its mi again. The time nw is 11.47am. Started late todae coz this morning abit busy. So now already start to want eng liao. Still got sum wrk on hand, but thn want take my own sweet time to finish it. Till now I still didnt reallie tok to ah ger. Still dun reallie feel liek tokkin to her. Sae mi xiao qi ye hao, childish ye hao, but thn I am like tat. I will icqin Esther, thn she's said yar.. ther's no frewns at wrk.. but thn i tot ah ger is different. But thn seems like she's no exception. Once we leave this place, ther is no such thing as frewns between us liao. She earn her money, i earn mine. As if she will help mi in future whn i need frm her. True loh. Schooling frewns are more frewns loh.
Now time is 1.30pm. todae order lunch in coz Miii fever, not feeling well so guess she doesnt wan go under the sun. I continue to be cold towards her. Its not i purposely de. but thn i just no mood to go entertain her. she told mi she wan tender resignation todae. i told her to go ahead. i mean why bother tellin mi. I felt damn betrayed loh.
nw 4.03pm liao. the dae actualie passes reasonably fast. Errmm.. intend to leave on the dot todae too. Tml xiang sae he wans make a trip home, and wans mi to follow him home aso. His sis goin Holland.. Actualie quite nice hor.. tat time just went USA for 2year plus, thn just came back a couple of wks bac, thn nw her company sendin her to Holland liao.. envy ah.. i aso wan.. So later after wrk i tinkin go meet him at Hougang Mall, maybe pick up a farewell present for her, thn go home help mummy do sum stuff and be her good ger..
Till now i still not tokin to ah ger. she told Miii i angry with her. Miii cum dwn ask mi wat happen, thn i dun wan tok bout it.. Well.. nth more to be said. Wats done is done. wats decided is decided. Nxt time i aso haf to be selfish. Just tink of myself, and never others..
5.38pm liao.. actualie is fang gong time liao. but thn noone shows ani signs of leavin.. so i aso dun dare leave.. damn jia lat hor.. reach fang gong time liao dun dare go.. wat sort of nonsense is tis.. haizz.. damn jia lat.. how how.. mr te cum dwn sae my tooling and ah ger tooling got problem. thn ask us go up see mould. knw his pattern too well liao, he is wan ask us up thn tok to us de.. he knw mi and ah ger like tat.. i thn dun wan tok.. nth to tok bout. another 5min haf pass.. ermm.. wan leave leh.. if not later go walk ard liao reach home too late mummy not hapie.. coz cant do tings for her.. haizz.. nth to do liao still haf to stay in office dun do wat. damn bo liaozz..

Dear blog,

I am now in the office.. Todae is a Mondae, a rainy mondae morning.. time nw is 8.53am.. but thn my PC clock is i tink 9min faster.. Well.. hw nice is it if I can stay home and sleep todae.. BenBen didnt wakie go school todae.. Guess their holis started liao.. Hw nice.. Actualie its getting quite boring at work. I dun like tat boriness at wrk.. I realie feel like resigin, coz i wanted sumthing challanging, sumting alwaes makin my dae busy.. once I'm busy, my dae aso pass by faster.. like now, the time realie crawls..
Anywae, did I mention in my last log tat I failed my TP?? I tink I did lah.. but thn nemind, i didnt expect myself to pass either.. My nxt test date book liao.. its on the 28th July.. Does this date ring any bell? Well, its a dae before my bdae.. So if I reallie pass, this will be the best bdae present I'm goin to recieve liao.. thou I tink I can make it this time round liao.. but thn i aso dun wan be overly confident.. thn I got all my lessons date liao.. after calculating all the dates, this retest will cost mi about 500over bucks.. actualie if its onli 500bucks, tink i can tender my resignation on 1st june, thn wrk till end of june.. thn like tat, with may + june's salary, will haf 2k plus.. after taking awae the 500, and all my expenses, i tink i is can make it liao de.. over the wkend actualei wan discuss with xiang de.. but thn it slip my mind..
huiyu resignin end of this mth.. actualie i tinkin once she left, maybe i will be more busy, coz i might haf to mroe or less cover up her wrk.. but thn if this is not true, thn i aso got no idea hw am i goin to boring 2mth here.. but thn may actualie passess pretty fast.. too many pple's bdae, so alot of events to look forward to, and aso got my drivin test(took 2 daes leave;so tat is a damn short wk for mi..) and aso all the mother daes celebration n stuff like tat.. actualie realie quite eventfull loh.. tis wk got no events leh.. nth much to look forward to, except pay dae, wich is end of tis week.. hehe~* so realie hope time will pass faster ah~*
Okie.. start doin abit of wrk liao.. time is onli 9.30am.. after I have updated this customer into the system, i wonder wat other stuff i can do.. seems like wat i can do is nth much liao leh.. later got to go dig sum stuff out to do.. wonder wat xiang is doin.. till nw never sms mi.. tink he must be hiding in his bunk, slpin.. ns life nw like veri hao ming liao.. duno todae will meet him anot leh.. mondae he is dun haf nite off de.. but thn he aso bo chup de.. but thn duno leh.. i duno wher shld i go after wrk leh..
Todae on my wae to wrk.. I kept tinkin about wrk.. I dun realie like wat i'm doing now. I'm tinkin of resigning, thn go get those part time sales job.. like sum cake shop or sell clothes de or wat.. coz i all along do sales, i am okie with it de.. so i tinkin maybe i shld go bac to sales for the time being.. i might be happier.. ermm.. as for pay wise, i aso dun tink will get ani lower.. my take home onli 1k plus abit.. if i go into sales, i believe aso ard the same de.. the onli ting is haf to wrk on sats and sundae.. tats the onli draw back.. but thn actualie off during the wkdaes aso not tat bad mah rite.. less pple ard, thn got more time to myself..
now 10.42am.. i spent the last hour searchin for an email leh.. but thn tink for tis issue, tat time due to time constriants, there is no time for ani emails.. haizz.. nemind, wait till my COO come bac thn see wat he saes ba..
11.29am liao.. the past hour didint do aniting muchie.. ermm..
now 1.38 liao wor.. like tat 2 hr pass liao.. bt one hr was lunchie.. haizz.. now i deng fang gong liao.. boring ah.. reale boring.. juz now go frewnster ther seesee looklook.. thn saw tat yk got new pics wor.. thn go in seesee looklook abit.. he like didnt change one bit leh.. still the same old him.. die lah.. feel like slpin now.. the slpin spell is all over mi.. how how??
duno if xiang is cumin out todae anot.. butthn nemind lah.. got the sat tat slpy feeling.. if he not cumin out,
Mr te now with us.. he telling us he end of tis mth goin to tender, thn nw huiyu sae till like so overjoy, coz got pple accompany her to leave. i mean i am irritated loh.. thn he kept rubbing in.. and mr te aso. wat can i sae.. i realie hate it here. a mth ago whn i wanted to leave, she is the one who hold mi back. thou i haf to admit i aso got my reserve bout leavin, but thn she realie plays a big part loh. thn nw coz she got in ntu liao, thn like tat sae wan leave.. how do u wan mi to feel.. damn betrayed loh. i knw its for her own good. so i understand, and i kept quiet. in fact i tink i was pretty encouragin loh. and nw she haf to rub in like tat.. hw do u wan mi to feel. thn i flare, mr te still sae might as well ah ger aso go loh. she still got the cheek to tell him is all coz i got the finicial problem. cum on loh.. i've been telling her i have my drivin expenses counted out liao. i can actualie resigned end of tis mth de. thn she is the one who asked mi stay. wat the fuck. angry. realie angry.
damn pissed. dun wan tok to her. in fact i dun feel like tokkin to her again. wonder i can tahan how long. but thn i realie dun feel like tokin.. hate her. in fact i tink its all coz her i am in wat i am now. if not i will leave long ago liao. still tink she's my best frewn here.. wat crap. am i kickin a big fuss out of nth?? do u tink i'm in the wrong? duno lah.. damn angry now. todae i goin to leave on the dot. let her go ahead and tender tis mth.. i haf to calm dwn and tink about it.
Okie.. about 20min haf passed frm just now, the time is now 3.11pm. i feel more clam dwn liao. but thn still cant forgive her. tink tis matter haf been in my heart for a longlong time liao. thn todae she like tat, its just trigger off and i exploded. till nw, i dun tink i am in the wrong. its not i stubborn or wat. just one word loh. selfish. but thn cant help it loh. she dun even tink bout her own twin, not to mention mi. but thn please loh, dun rub in liao. i already need to constantly remind myself to look on the bright side. w/o her havin to remind mi of the dark side. still got 2hr plus thn can go home liao. tink xiang is not meetin mi todae.. tink aso rush for him to be cumin in and out. but its okie, i can go home rite after wrk.. go back and slp on all my stuff.. i'm a very direct person.. like means like, dun like means dun like. and whn i no like, i realie show it. tats mi. i'm a straight forward ger. and rite now, i'm feelin damn pissed.. very angry.. i dun wan yi qi yong shi. no point resign coz her.. thn in the end shou ku de shi zi ji.. so tonite, must reallie tally out my final conclusion. thn if all odds points to mi leavin, thn i'll tender tml.. but thn actualie i dun mind abit more cash de.. its like 1k more leh.. but thn it aso means 1 more mth of sufferin here loh.. so todae got to go back tok to xiang and all abit.. 3.49 liao.. in bout 2hrs more i believe i'll be out of tis place liao..
haizz.. damn sian.. realie sianzz.. mr te just cum tok to mi abit.. well.. he is ask mi to leave aso since not hapie.. and given my calibre, sure can find job sumwher else. but thn nw aso huiyu sae prefer us not to leave together. everyting aso she sae. fuck loh. but thn i dun wan get manuliplitated by anione.. i wan to do wat i wan. i wan go tink bout it thn see how. actualie feelin slightly beta liao. and now 4.17pm on my clock liao. so in an hour time, thn i can start to count dwn to go home liao.. todae i realie didnt do aniting much.. but thn aso quite li hai hor.. neber do ting aso pass one dae liao.. not bad ah.. i finaly learnt the power to use a long time to do a simple task.. guess tis is wrk smart ba.. thou not exactly smart, but thn at least yar.. guess tis is aso one wae of wrkin ba..
she tried tokin to mi. but thn i dun wan tok to her. nw she aso like not too hapie liao. bt thn her prob. cant be bothered with her..
nw 4.37pm.. actualie i frm tis morn write till nw.. aso not bad hor.. like todae xiang busy in camp. so his reply aso abit slow.. haizz.. feel beta nw liao. but thn still dun feel like tokin to her.. in an hour time,i will be on my wae home liao. thou todae is not a busy dae, the time aso passes reasonably fast.. HEHE..4.57pm liao wor.. left half hour more to go.. realie looking forward in goin home.. hehe.. at least my mood beta now..
5.49pm liao.. i am leavin the office liao.. xiang sms mi sae his meetin mi at my place ther.. thn go my hsey watch a vcd liek tat.. tink he knws i upset.. so purposely wan accompany mi.. realie apprecaite him for bein ther for mi alwaes.. i knw i at times aso not too nice to him.. but thn he still so nice to mi. love u dear~* haizz.. he aso never reads tis de.. got write and no write same de.. leavein liao.. tml tink i can write another lenghty lenghty de..

Todae 20th May.. Hengheng's bdae todae.. duno if i am meetin him todae anot.. Happie Bdae Heng~~!~! his 21st bdae todae.. may all his wishes cum true leh..

Aniwae, i failed my TP.. well.. didnt realie feel mush about it.. coz i more or less expected it de.. if pass thn realie is mirical.. thn after tat ermm.. yar.. went ktv..

todae i in a mood swing.. in a damn bad mood now.. i did something wrong todae.. i got the 2D Drawing frm the motorola on 30th april.. thn i forget pass to mr te.. thn as a result, thn the tooling dun haf cavity marking.. thn i knw its my fault.. i realie knw its my fault.. thn i told hr te about it. thn i said its my fault.. but thn he still wan to charge for the cavity marking.. thn i called fred in china, thn i knw fred abit pissed loh.. thn i tink its all my fault.. fred dun wan to pay for it.. thn haizz.. in the end mr te called fred.. so the conclusion is fred needs to pay loh.. as in i here haf to raise PO for it loh.. but thn haizz.. mr te said is not my fault, ask mi to stop sayin its my fault.. coz even if i give him the drawing on 30th may, he will still need us to pay for it de.. but thn the ting is fred is pissed i tink.. haizz.. so over tis i am in a damn low mood liao..

to make tings worst, huiyu is not too supportive aso.. i knw she got her own set of problems.. but thn haizz.. thn nxt wk is the lasty wk of tis mth liao. she just told mi she's goin to tender her resignation nxt wed or thursdae.. haizz.. i am tinkin of stayin till end of july actualie so i can at least pay off all the driving stuff.. coz just over tis wkend, i spend bou 400bucks on drivin.. but thn given wat i'm feelin now, i realie got no wish to continue.. how?? help ah~* i knw if i were to brin it up to xiang, he will sure ask mi resign, thn driving he will help mi pay.. but thn i dun realie like it like tis.. so i got a week time to consider to stay or to go.. and even if i go, i aso got nth to do.. to start looking for job, or to go bac to sch.. if its bac to sch, thn i tink most prob it will be SIM liao..

todae realie in a sucky mood.. haizz..

Todae 18th May.. another big dae in my life.. actualie frankly speaking lah.. tink tis year realie quite a busy year for mi.. i aso duno how to sae lah.. ermm.. like alot of event and activities liek tat loh.. hehe~* got lots of upz and dwns.. but thn one ting tat never change is life still goes on.. regardless i hapie or sad, it will not stop and wait for mi.. thou after todae, i will haf to wrk straight for a couple of mths, a/o any holisdae like tis.. but thn wat to do.. realie got to plan to go bac sch instead of wrkin.. but evn if i were to go bac sch now, will onli be my escape for tis period of time..

i now, actualie planin to stay on till xiang ord, thn by thn we can start plannin wat we wan do.. ermm.. but thn tat is wat i tink lah.. in actual fact, to stay on at sei woo is realie not easy... or shld i sae its not as easy as i tink de.. haizz.. actulie end of the mth cumin again.. time we will face a cross junction again.. to tender or to stay.. haizz.. if dun tender, sure regret de.. tender liao aso like haizz.. pple alwaes sae tender le thn suan le.. but thn its not like tat de loh..

okie.. todae is the big dae.. goin to take my driving test liao.. realie hope i can make it.. thou i knw my diring still quite dangerous, lack of safty factors, but thn i realie hope i can make it still loh.. kae.. pls pple, pray for mi hor.. pray hard hard tat nth will go wrong.. even if i no pass, aso nemind.. i dun wan later accident thn jia lat liao..

ERrmm.. wow.. this blog actualie revamped.. tink i can post up a pic or two now.. but thn haizz.. wait till i more free ba.. hehe.. ermm.. todae i on leave.. thn went drivin.. todae driving sucks loh.. so i tink tml is xiong duo ji shao de.. but thn haizz.. nemind ba.. sat went sentosa.. acutualie didnt do muchie.. just go ther slack ard.. but thn ther was no much sun, so i didnt managed to get any tan.. yar.. thn wore the new luminous green bikini.. tok cum fotos.. will update it into frewnster whn i got time and all.. the gers were sayin i am sooo fair.. hehe.. actualie i like it fair leh.. fair fair not nice meh?? thn i didnt manage to bath at sentosa coz the queue was like soooo long.. thn yar..so i left the place even w/o bathing.. thn yar loh.. soooo dirty leh.. bua tahan.. but thn haizz..

ermm.. thn sundae went drivin, didnt do well either.. thn after tat argue with xiang abit.. attitude him abit more, thn went granny hse for dinner.. the food ther realie yum yum.. thn vivian said xiang is my fat bf.. haha~* she actualie said he fat.. actualie xiang not fat lah.. just tat coz sat go sentosa.. thn ai mei de him went to gym.. wan to show off abit.. so his quite big size now.. yar.. hehe~* but thn nemind.. i haf a fun time teasing him too.. thn play mahjong abit while he go home, thn after tat play with the gers, and help out with their homewrk and OMG.. ah verene's maths is soooo tough leh.. she's onli in Pri3 leh.. but thn the maths hor.. realie de leh.. i haf to use the algebra simlutanous equation to solve it.. thn xiang came pick mi up, thn he aso help abit.. thn he uses tis duno wat method to solve it.. haizz.. but thn realie loh.. Pri3 onli leh.. the maths hor.. realie damn diff loh.. i used the sec sch method to solved it loh..
ermm.. thn todae mondae.. actualie quite a nice feeling.. mondae no need go wrk, thn stay home like tis slack.. thn after driving, after lunchie thn cum homey.. actualie supposed to do hse wrk de.. but thn benben called mi, sae mummy left a note on her door.. actualie is telling mi to do the hsewrk de.. thn he ask mi wat mummy wrote.. thn he asked izzit ask him do hsewrk, thn i said YES~* hehe.. so benben realie go do hsewrk loh.. hehe.. after he did the hsewrk he called mummie thn realise tat note is actualie for mi de.. hehe.. who ask him chinese sooo poor.. so bo bian lah.. hehe~*
now wan go movie with xiang.. but thn not much show recently leh.. and to make ting worst, his playin PS2 with benben now.. win liao loh.. he rather play with him thn go out with mi.. dun like him de...

ERrmm.. wow.. this blog actualie revamped.. tink i can post up a pic or two now.. but thn haizz.. wait till i more free ba.. hehe.. ermm.. todae i on leave.. thn went drivin.. todae driving sucks loh.. so i tink tml is xiong duo ji shao de.. but thn haizz.. nemind ba.. sat went sentosa.. acutualie didnt do muchie.. just go ther slack ard.. but thn ther was no much sun, so i didnt managed to get any tan.. yar.. thn wore the new luminous green bikini.. tok cum fotos.. will update it into frewnster whn i got time and all.. the gers were sayin i am sooo fair.. hehe.. actualie i like it fair leh.. fair fair not nice meh??

ermm.. thn sundae went drivin, didnt do well either.. thn after tat argue with xiang abit.. attitude him abit more, thn went granny hse for dinner.. the food ther realie yum yum.. thn vivian said xiang is my fat bf.. haha~* she actualie said he fat.. actualie xiang not fat lah.. just tat coz sat go sentosa.. thn ai mei de him went to gym.. wan to show off abit.. so his quite big size now.. yar.. hehe~* but thn nemind.. i haf a fun time teasing him too.. thn play mahjong abit while he go home, thn after tat play with the gers, and help out with their homewrk and OMG.. ah verene's maths is soooo tough leh.. she's onli in Pri3 leh.. but thn the maths hor.. realie de leh.. i haf to use the algebra simlutanous equation to solve it.. thn xiang came pick mi up, thn he aso help abit.. thn he uses tis duno wat method to solve it.. haizz.. but thn realie loh.. Pri3 onli leh.. the maths hor.. realie damn diff loh.. i used the sec sch method to solved it loh..
ermm.. thn todae mondae.. actualie quite a nice feeling.. mondae no need go wrk, thn stay home like tis slack.. thn after driving, after lunchie thn cum homey.. actualie supposed to do hse wrk de.. but thn benben called mi, sae mummy left a note on her door.. actualie is telling mi to do the hsewrk de.. thn he ask mi wat mummy wrote.. thn he asked izzit ask him do hsewrk, thn i said YES~* hehe.. so benben realie go do hsewrk loh.. hehe.. after he did the hsewrk he called mummie thn realise tat note is actualie for mi de.. hehe.. who ask him chinese sooo poor.. so bo bian lah.. hehe~*
now wan go movie with xiang.. but thn not much show recently leh.. and to make ting worst, his playin PS2 with benben now.. win liao loh.. he rather play with him thn go out with mi.. dun like him de...

Its mi.. and its lucnhie time.. i am in the office.. tink its raining cats and doggies outside.. but thn it doesnt matter.. coz tis truly reflects my mood.. feelin damn unhappie now..
yest huiyu sms mi sae she got into NTU liao leh.. thn its like i am realie hapie for her loh.. its like at least she got sumting she wanted and stuff like tat.. frankly speakin lah.. i am relaie hapie for her.. but thn my after tot is i am sad for my ownself. its like yar.. coz i didnt get in loh.. thn yar.. thou pple are tellin mi tat ther is still chance.. but thn cum on loh.. i knw my own results and all.. i realie didnt do well de loh.. wat xiang sae is true lah.. she sacrifice all her time in poly to study hard.. while i use the time to play hard, so whn it cums to the seed that we sow, obviously she she gets a sweeter harvest loh.. i knw tis theory, so thou i am hopin for miricle to hapen, but thn i still didnt put in too much hope, coz if i didnt get in, thn its realie disaterous...
well.. actualie nw i not hapie with her, its not coz of the uni problem.. coz i cant blame her for it. its onli mi who played too hard in poly.. but thn wat realie makes mi mad is her attitude loh.. i mean yar.. todae i'm realie busy loh.. i mean wrk duno why all starts to cum in all at the same time.. but thn at least, show sum respect loh.. i knw she's busy. tats coz she's not wrkin smart enuff.. she's simply wrkin hard.. so as a result, she's just sloggin awae.. so whn she's free, thn she will cum to my side and wan tok cock and all.. thn todae she like not free, thn she realie throw mi aside liek tat.. i felt so played.. tis is not wat frewns shld be de.. i relaie dun appreciate tis nonsense loh.. i'm angry. realie realie angry. with her attitude. i realie regret stayin for her sake.. in wrk, ther'e realie no such tings as frewns.. at least wrkin for so long, i finaly has got to knw tis point.. all my bosses and colleauge has told mi tis. but thn we choose to differ it.. now, i realie understand it liao..

Just reached office.. todae is tuesdae.. now is 8.48am on my clock.. hehe~* just wanna drop a note.. yesterdae, after wrk, i went to yishun inter walkwalk wif huiyu.. thn hor.. hehe~* i pierce my ear hole leh.. hehe~* 20 years in my life.. tis is the first time.. actualie its aso not as pain as i tot it would be lah.. so ermm.. yar.. hehe~*

Dear Blog, its mi again.. its 5.51m on my pc clock.. why am i still in the office..

a) Thunder Storm here... Lightning and thunder and large amount of rain...
b) Waiting for Huiyu.. Tink we need to tok about my resignation tml.. the whole dae she's hinting mi to tink bout my decision, and finally ard 5pm, she ask mi can i dun resign..

Okie.. so onli 2 point.. but the power to this 2 points is soooo great.. to keep mi in the office whn i got nth to do, and aso whn i am to meet xiang in orchard.. haizz.. i wan GGggooo.... what am i doin here.. haizz.. Bad life ah..

Todae email andrea abit.. Thn found out tat she tml last dae.. yar.. she resigned.. and nw she wan take a break frm wrk.. might wan go aussie study, or SIM for a part time coz.. yar.. aniwae.. haizz.. thn i sms qian, thn she sae she wan go bac to sch.. damn funni de.. wrking de cant wait to get out of the wrk and back to sch.. schooling de cant wait to get out of sch and go back to wrk.. haizz..

and now huiyu tell mi she tml dun wan cum wrk.. so she can no need see mi tender.. fuck loh. i waited for her till nw and tis is the nonsense i got frm her. fed up loh. fuck it lah.. leavin office now liao.

Dear Blog,

Its fang gong time again.. Todae actualie is a relatively pleasant dae till now.. ermm.. or maybe about 15min ago.. realie dampen my mood.. I already hated tat idiot for taking awae my V180 awae.. and nw, it seems like its more thn V180.. Seems like even the A1000 his gettin involved too.. and God knws wat else his goin to take awae frm mi.. Fuck man.. Realie fed-up.. Wrk starts to build up todae.. Mostly the Telian stuff.. my C340 and V240.. Heng the Koreans onli realie look for mi.. so i was still tinking, maybe wrk is still not tat bad mah.. coz its like i am doin wat I like.. so i startin to haf 2nd tots about the fridae resignation stuff.. But now, seems like I did not make a wrong choice..

told huiyu about it this ting just now.. her reply was aso not wat i wan hear.. after being here for so long, i'm realie disappointed at her.. i mean all along i tot onli she knws hw i realie feel, wat i realie wan.. but thn guess i'm wrong aso.. tis time round, she's not leavin.. coz her sis just resigned.. I knw tis sounds practical.. but thn wat i see, is tat she cant bear it here too.. cant bear to start all over again.. so yar.. i'm angry.. veryvery angry.. and i haf to go dinner wif her tonite.. thou xiang's havin off, but thn coz i dated her first.. i mean its still effort on my part.. and tis is all i go..

Fuck. tat fucker got my Razor file tat i just set up TODAE.

Dear blog,

I am in the office now. Its about 1/2hr to fang gong. Todae is quite a horrible dae. Coz I didnt have much to do. Normally at wrk, pple are hopin for less wrk, but mi on the other hand, is hopin for more. Funnie rite.. yar.. Finally, its the end of the dae.. I realie waited so damn long for this moment. Hw I wish I can dun cum wrk tml.. but thn its quite impossible.. For the entire mth of April, I have not had a complete wrk week.. Its either MC, or leave an urgent leave.. Kind of regret taking so much leave and MC since the begining.. How??

This morn I had a short talk with my mum. Told her bout my intension of resignation. Actualie i onlie intend to inform her of my resignation, and not to ask for her opinion.. I knw i am stubborn.. coz i realie dun wan stay here ani longer. Thus i knw if I start askin, thn if she start to contradict my decision, i will start to shake frm my own decision. But surprisingly, she did not qus my decision, and neither did she show any disapproval. In fact she is still pretty supportive. So yar.. with my mum liek tis, it gives mi more confidence to carry on with my decision.

Actualie i'm reallie glad my mum gif mi this response. Coz i guess i am still pretty much of a kid. I will still want parent approval. I dun wan to do tings tat they tink is wrong. I mean i still wan to be their good girl.. So i'm glad tat i went to tok to her about it. hehe~*

So nw, its just up to my enduring skills.. see how am I goin to survive till then.. the more I tink, the more heartpain I got. Coz tat fucker took my V180 Project awae.. I realie put alot of time n effort in it. And he just took it awae like tis. I realie realie hate him!! I knw this is wrk. But thn i still cant take it. maybe i'm childish.. but thn haizz.. duno lah..

Xiang is reallie supportive too.. I knw these few daes i start to PMS liao.. so my tolerance level is veri low.. we will kick up a quarrel damn easily.. But thn he aso damn encouragin about my resignation. He onli earnin a miserable 600plus frm his NSF.. but thn he sae we can survive on this de.. hehe~* no shoppin, no restaurant.. thn can survive liao.. actualie like tat tink aso quite sweet.. thn he just nw sms mi tell mi recently alot of pple driving all first time pass.. so he ask mi to jia you.. hehe~* but thn if fail aso nemind.. he will be my chauffer... hehe~*

Getin damn fat recentli.. damn jia lat.. todae later goin gym with xiang.. go wrk out abit.. tis will be 2nd time i go gym leh.. so scary.. the last time i go i still in sec sch, go ther playplay onli leh.. i scare later alot of pple.. thn i scare later i do wrongly thn pai sey.. hehe~* but thn nemind lah.. everiting aso got first time de mah rite..

Goin fang gong liao.. thn nw gt pple ask mi do wrk, so haf to OT.. damn stupid de.. i whole dae nth to do, thn nw fang gong liao thn ask mi open wavier.. damn stupid..

At the office now.. all of a sudden tink the blog i posted the dae b4 sounds to er xin.. hehe.. tink i was thn in a damn sweet mood.. so everyting i wrote all so tian.. thn tian till nw read liao aso feel er xin myself.. hehe.. not sae now no tian liao.. but thn yar.. hehe..
aniwae, nw in the office, dyin to leave.. but thn waitin for my ai ren to finish her wrk first.. everytime aso she wait for mi.. nw i wait for her aso correct lah.. well.. sian.. the desire to resigned is all over mi again.. in fact tis mth rite.. i took quite alot of leave n mc.. so now even more reluctant to cum back office.. yar.. so i am tinkin of tenderin up the resignation end of mth.. yar.. i knw pple are so sick of hearin mi wantin to quit, but thn in the end still here.. but thn frankly speakin lah.. noone understand wat i'm goin try here.. at times, i tink even xiang duno.. on mon i told him about mi feel like tenderin end of the mth.. the respond frm him dun realie sound supportive.. aso cannot sae not supportive lah.. he is all hands and legs up for mi to leave.. but thn he aso duno why am i still hangin on after so long.. actualie i aso duno why.. its a indescrible feeling.. guess onli my airen knws.. so mi and her got this special bonding coz of tis.. yar..
aniwae.. yar.. tats wat i feel like doin loh.. haizz..
aniwae.. my granny was in hospital for bout 2 weeks ard the begining of the mth.. she was out frm the hospi last week.. actualie i am soo upset bout it.. coz thers tis bacteria in her blood.. i duno if ther's an entry for this, but thn i'm realie upset.. among all my grandparents, she is the least i wan to lose.. coz i am the closest to her.. yar.. so i kept goin to visit her.. thanks thers xiang ard.. i dun mean to sae his my chauffer, but thn i realie appreciate it as he realie drives mi ard.. thanks kae dear.. but thn thanks god she's feelin beta liao loh..
and yar... sumting provoke mi last nite.. i was home earli last nite.. thn i went online mah.. thn i read yk's tat ex the blog.. thn as i read on, she still likes him loh.. thn the wae she sae till like damn er xin aso.. haizz.. realie dun like this girl.. like so damn fake.. i mean why do she haf to be like so hoo-haa over yk leh.. worth it meh?? i realie dun understand.. but thn the worst ting is a statement she said tat realie realie irritates mi.. i mean she mention mi in tat particular blog.. and i mean its sumting pretty personal.. and she actualie published it out like this.. i'm realie angry.. but thn nemind.. guess wrkin life realie brush mi up.. coz i is like furious at it.. but thn i hold my cool and didnt do aniting about it.. fed-up leh..

At the office now.. all of a sudden tink the blog i posted the dae b4 sounds to er xin.. hehe.. tink i was thn in a damn sweet mood.. so everyting i wrote all so tian.. thn tian till nw read liao aso feel er xin myself.. hehe.. not sae now no tian liao.. but thn yar.. hehe..
aniwae, nw in the office, dyin to leave.. but thn waitin for my ai ren to finish her wrk first.. everytime aso she wait for mi.. nw i wait for her aso correct lah.. well.. sian.. the desire to resigned is all over mi again.. in fact tis mth rite.. i took quite alot of leave n mc.. so now even more reluctant to cum back office.. yar.. so i am tinkin of tenderin up the resignation end of mth.. yar.. i knw pple are so sick of hearin mi wantin to quit, but thn in the end still here.. but thn frankly speakin lah.. noone understand wat i'm goin try here.. at times, i tink even xiang duno.. on mon i told him about mi feel like tenderin end of the mth.. the respond frm him dun realie sound supportive.. aso cannot sae not supportive lah.. he is all hands and legs up for mi to leave.. but thn he aso duno why am i still hangin on after so long.. actualie i aso duno why.. its a indescrible feeling.. guess onli my airen knws.. so mi and her got this special bonding coz of tis.. yar..
aniwae.. yar.. tats wat i feel like doin loh.. haizz..
aniwae.. my granny was in hospital for bout 2 weeks ard the begining of the mth.. she was out frm the hospi last week.. actualie i am soo upset bout it.. coz thers tis bacteria in her blood.. i duno if ther's an entry for this, but thn i'm realie upset.. among all my grandparents, she is the least i wan to lose.. coz i am the closest to her.. yar.. so i kept goin to visit her.. thanks thers xiang ard.. i dun mean to sae his my chauffer, but thn i realie appreciate it as he realie drives mi ard.. thanks kae dear.. but thn thanks god she's feelin beta liao loh..
and yar... sumting provoke mi last nite.. i was home earli last nite.. thn i went online mah.. thn i read yk's tat ex the blog.. thn as i read on, she still likes him loh.. thn the wae she sae till like damn er xin aso.. haizz.. realie dun like this girl.. like so damn fake.. i mean why do she haf to be like so hoo-haa over yk leh.. worth it meh?? i realie dun understand.. but thn the worst ting is a statement she said tat realie realie irritates mi.. i mean she mention mi in tat particular blog.. and i mean its sumting pretty personal.. and she actualie published it out like this.. i'm realie angry.. but thn nemind.. guess wrkin life realie brush mi up.. coz i is like furious at it.. but thn i hold my cool and didnt do aniting about it.. fed-up leh..