Cottage by the River

Dear blog,

I feel so bad now.. in fact i realie feel like cryin.. i realie feel like hiddin in a corner and cry out loud.. why must it be like tis..

OO still dun let mi slp the entire nite. i woke up at 1plus to clear my rm again, coz he poo and pee.. and he actualie steped on his own poo.. after tat he kept wantin mi to wake up.. i duno wat he wan frm mi.. i realie duno.. last nite lizzie aso cum join in the fun. she went under my bed, and growl at OO whenever he tried to cum to my bed to wake mi up.. i was so scare tat she will suddenly spring out and bite him..

so i didnt slp last nite.. i realie duno wat he wants frm mi. i totalli got no idea.. why izzit like tis.
i didnt eat dinner last nite.. and i ate little lunch yest.. fuxin(my subsi sales manager) frm Tianjin came to singapore for sum biz trip.. after tokin to the fone for a year, first time see him.. his due to go bac todae, so had lunch with him yest.. lunch was bad, coz they had curry fish head, so i aso didnt eat.. it was a 13pple lunch.. with all the big shot pple.. so i hardly took ani bite..

so rite nw, i feel so hungry and tired.. my head aches.. it feels as if its goin to split apart. i aso duno if i can get to slp later.. i'm afraid OO will not let mi slp.. and i am hungry.. so veri hungry.. and xiang is not helpin.. i sms him told him lets haf lunch together.. i did not have a proper meal with him for the past one week.. coz i haf been goin home everidae for dinner.. thn he called and tell mi he might be meetin up with the tat guy to buy bike.. so thn i told him thn its okie loh.. i will go home myself, thn i will aso go eat myself.. thn abit of communication breakdwn sumwher, he asked mi to go home slp, he will cum find mi after he settle his stuff.. so i flare.. guess i getin abit short-tempered recentli.. tis is bad.. i knw its bad.. but thn i reallie cannot help it.

i realie duno how to hold myself bac.. and i realie feel veri upset.. upset over OO, over why OO dun let mi slp at nite, over why he haf to keep peein and pooin, over why he have to step on his own pee and poo, upset over why lizzie is so hostile towards OO, over why do i haf to wrk, over why they didnt wait to eat dinner with mi yesterdae resultin in mi end up w/o dinner coz i wan to attitude the whole world. my head pain pain, and yet nth i can do.. all i wan do is to let my tears flow dwn, but even for tat, i cant let it happen. i feel so useless.. why cant i just let the tears flow dwn.. i am realie tired..