Dear Bloggie,

This is my second post today.

I totally have no mood to work today. Why the time does pass so slow?

I think its raining again today.

The temperature in the office seems colder then usual. A warm hug would be good now.

I’m sitting here, wondering what can I do to myself so I can land up in the hospital. By then will he put down all his work and rush to my side, just to be with me like what I did when his hospitalized?

Okie, sounds nonsencical.

Never mind.

Nothing interesting at the moment in my life. Just that I tend to feel gloomy and depress more often then usual now-a-days.

Must be PMS…

3 weeks? I guess its 3 weeks… 3 weeks ago I started craving for Waffles from Café Cartel. Till now, I have not go eat it yet…

Oh, and I gaining weight again… How wonderfully wonderful.

Am I the only idiot who always gain weight and never lose it?

I have started my exercise regime of going workout for an hour once a week. Think its still not enough…

Okie, enough whining for now… Another hour to go before I can head home.

Save me…

Dear Bloggie,

In the office now, just back from lunch.

In the PMS Mode lately. Feeling very depress and down.

But I guess I’m okie, just the regular PMS thingie… W/o him by my side and my school results going down the slope… Well, all these definitely contribute to my depression.

It’s okie, I’ll still move on.

Exams round the corner. I cant help but feel stress. And because it’s the depression thingie, the urge to resign came back once again.

Okie, I’m going to stop whining.

Can’t tell you how imbalance I feel.

Dear Bloggie,

Please tell me how could two that are damn in love, talking about marriage two years down the road, suddenly become "we-shall-see-if-we-can-last-loh". If can after four years we are still together, then we are still together. If not then I believe its all for the best. But its four years, noone will know what will happen.

How come??

I totally during the most difficult time, we two should be encouraging each other, giving each other assurance that we love is able to with-stand all obstacle?

Isnt is like this...

Dear Bloggie,

I got the feeling that me and xiang, will not be able to pull it tru this time round.

Why does God have to be so cruel to me, putting me tru the same agony two times in a row?

I'm really not sure if I can be able to take the blow again this time round. And now, he already think we cant continue on, and yet he ask me to wait for half a year more, wait for his next semester to start, to confirm that we really cant carry on.

I told him not to make me wait like this, telling me its not possible and still asked me to wait.

Why cant the person I love just simply be with me?

After going tru so much with him, I am indeed a very changed person.

Changed to the better I think. But yet, why does this have to happen again?

What did I do wrong. Why does a bloody degree in NUS have to come in between the both of us... Why am I so much less important then his degree.

I really dont know why.

Can someone just enlighten me?

I just love him, simple love a man and wants to be with him. What is so difficult about it.. Why do things have to always turn out like this for me...

I'm scare... very very scare.

Dear Bloggie,

In the office now.

Feeling a little bored.

It’s going to be Mid Autumn Festival this Friday.

Mid Autumn is always such a special day…

There used to be this guy, who went for a show with me on this particular Mid Autumn. At Plaza Singapura, I could still remember. And since then, the movie and song, held such significance in the years to come. If memory didn’t fail me, we went to Ponggol Park after that. But it was too crowded, so we went to Seng Kang. And over there we had a little celebration for Mid Autumn Festival. No Chinese tea, no moon cake. Just candles and more candles.

Not an exciting date, not exactly very romantic either.

But that is the beginning… Of my first relationship.

My first serious relationship…

Memories are verge, coz I was only like 16. But somehow, things got rather sweet, and we got together.

I remembered our 1^st Valentine’s Day; he gave me a framed up jig saw puzzle. I remembered he brought me back to his house for dinner, the food his mum cooked. I remembered Chinese New Year at his house with his friends and family, and all the $1 coin. I remembered the day at his room, he showed me the amplifier he did in school and I was so amazed. I remembered him in my house, and me trying to cook him pizza. I remembered all the plans we have for future, and started our gold coin savings plan. I remembered he called in a radio station, and delicate a song to me. I remembered him waiting for me at Tampines Mall for me to end work at 11pm, so he could just send me home even thou he got school the nxt day. I remembered the day when I got my O Level results, the hug I wanted to give him while wondering around the blocks of HDB flats coz I got kind of lost among the identical estates. And also, on that fateful day at the lift lobby at my house, the 1^st kiss that he gave me.

But good times don’t last.

Somehow, due to my own personal reasons, I asked for a break-up.

Very sad, even I was shocked by my own actions. I could only say I was too immature back then.

I regretted my acts, but I couldn’t get him back.

He is a typical Scorpio. Cold, mysterious and stubborn.

So well, bring young and ignorant… I picked up my feelings and moved on.

Only months later, did I learned that I really did meant so much more to him then I expected. For 2 consecutive years, I received flowers from him on both my birthday and Valentine’s Day… Not 1 or 2 stalks, but dozen in bouquets with bears or in basket.

We did not get back together.

No happy ending like the Prince and Princess living happily ever after.

Doing a little calculation; this is the 7^th Mid Autumn ever since that fateful one.

We are still friends, not exactly the best of friends but he is one very special friend of mine.

He has his own life story now, and so do I.

But he is still a very special friend of mine… :)