Dear blog,
I feel so bad now.. in fact i realie feel like cryin.. i realie feel like hiddin in a corner and cry out loud.. why must it be like tis..
OO still dun let mi slp the entire nite. i woke up at 1plus to clear my rm again, coz he poo and pee.. and he actualie steped on his own poo.. after tat he kept wantin mi to wake up.. i duno wat he wan frm mi.. i realie duno.. last nite lizzie aso cum join in the fun. she went under my bed, and growl at OO whenever he tried to cum to my bed to wake mi up.. i was so scare tat she will suddenly spring out and bite him..
so i didnt slp last nite.. i realie duno wat he wants frm mi. i totalli got no idea.. why izzit like tis.
i didnt eat dinner last nite.. and i ate little lunch yest.. fuxin(my subsi sales manager) frm Tianjin came to singapore for sum biz trip.. after tokin to the fone for a year, first time see him.. his due to go bac todae, so had lunch with him yest.. lunch was bad, coz they had curry fish head, so i aso didnt eat.. it was a 13pple lunch.. with all the big shot pple.. so i hardly took ani bite..
so rite nw, i feel so hungry and tired.. my head aches.. it feels as if its goin to split apart. i aso duno if i can get to slp later.. i'm afraid OO will not let mi slp.. and i am hungry.. so veri hungry.. and xiang is not helpin.. i sms him told him lets haf lunch together.. i did not have a proper meal with him for the past one week.. coz i haf been goin home everidae for dinner.. thn he called and tell mi he might be meetin up with the tat guy to buy bike.. so thn i told him thn its okie loh.. i will go home myself, thn i will aso go eat myself.. thn abit of communication breakdwn sumwher, he asked mi to go home slp, he will cum find mi after he settle his stuff.. so i flare.. guess i getin abit short-tempered recentli.. tis is bad.. i knw its bad.. but thn i reallie cannot help it.
i realie duno how to hold myself bac.. and i realie feel veri upset.. upset over OO, over why OO dun let mi slp at nite, over why he haf to keep peein and pooin, over why he have to step on his own pee and poo, upset over why lizzie is so hostile towards OO, over why do i haf to wrk, over why they didnt wait to eat dinner with mi yesterdae resultin in mi end up w/o dinner coz i wan to attitude the whole world. my head pain pain, and yet nth i can do.. all i wan do is to let my tears flow dwn, but even for tat, i cant let it happen. i feel so useless.. why cant i just let the tears flow dwn.. i am realie tired..
Saturday, September 25, 2004
Friday, September 24, 2004
Dear Blog,
Think its been quite sumtime since i haf updated tis.. end of mth cumin liao.. aniwae, much has been happenin recently..
Xiang just called and told mi OO eyes not doin too fine.. how?? why like tat? last sat, i went to suntect with xiang for the food fair.. thn actualie mummy aso wan cum de.. thn while waitin for mummy, thn she suddenly called, and sae OO hurt his eye again. just like last time, his eye pop out. but last time is the rite eye. now is the left eye. so we immediately rush him to the vet. coz its like 4plus on a sat, thn all the vets are closed, so we could onli brin him to mount pleasant. which turned out to be totally not pleasant..
so like last time, the vet sew up his eye lids, to keep his eyeball in the socket. and OO was made to stay a nite ther.. thou i insisted on brinin him home, but they wan to keep him for observation. tis time round, the vet said tat OO will not longer see. he will becum blind.. actualie the last time round whn he hurt his rite eye, we already knw his rite eye could no longer see, his simply depending on his left. and now his left aso ...
realie veri upset loh.. realie veri upsettin.. OO realie veri bao bei to mi loh.. realie duno how to describe.. his my first doggie.. and havin lived with him for like 3years plus..
tis one week is definatley not an easy week. i hav to get up earli in the morn b4 goin to wrk coz need to clear the mess OO made.. coz he cannot see, so he cant find his wae to the papers to pee and poo.. so he just do it round the hse.. u knw hw tedious is tat.. th ni nw everidae after wrk, i will simply rushed straight home, to see him. and aso to clean up the hse. i almost sweep and mop the livin rm everidae, and wash the kitchen floor like twice a dae.. i duno if tis goes on, can i take it anot.. heng xiang is clearin leave, so he came over everidae to help mi keep an eye on OO and lizzie whn we are all at wrk. he will cum my hse ard 9am, thn will onli leave after puttin mi to bed..
i realie thank him for it.. i realie realie appreciate it. if not for him, tink tis week is realie goin to be veri veri jia lat.. coz if not for him, there might be a even bigger mess waitin for mi whn i go home everidae after wrk.. but aso bo bian for xiang.. coz its his bao bei's bao bei..
so my poor OO.. realie veri poor ting. anione who sees him now will heartache.. it realie break my heart to see him like tat.. so he just called and tell mi OO stitches seems to be splittin open. Mummy is rushin home now, to brin thm to the vet.. to check on the eye. so worried. and i am onli stucked here, wherby i can do nth for thm..
they just finish seein the vet.. the vet sae his condition looks fine.. why is ther an opening is coz the swell subside, thus it lossen up. so its a good ting.. so at least tat puts my mind to rest..
so for the past one week, i spend my time in the office or at home. i rushed home everidae after wrk.. didnt even go aniwher.. suddenly feel like i am such a good ger.. but thn hor.. mondae i took urgent leave to stay home accompany OO.. thn in the morn whn OO slpin, i did sum hsewrk.. i filled a pill with water, and start to clean the hse.. i tink whn i cleanin the shelf tat hold the tv, tink i moved the wires.. and frm mondae till now, my tv went black and white.. xiang and ben did everiting they could to make the color cum back, but thn nth they did could brin the tv bac.. so since thn, i haf been watch the black and white tv.. the 7pm show, the 9pm show.. the singapore idols, all in blank and white.. my mum hide in her own rm, see her color tv, while mi and xiang haf onli the black and white tv.. my daddy cumin back tml.. duno he will scold mi anot.. hehe.
actualie tis whole week, i spend less thn 5bucks.. realie money savin loh. but thn all my savings gone.. all went into the bills for OO eyes.. abit heartache, but even more heartache for my OO..
goin to be 5pm soon liao.. but thn raymond is in the office todae. so i duno if i can go back on time.. recentli he awae for a conference. so i haf goin home almost before 6pm everidae.. todae he is ard.. i wonder is i can aso go bac b4 6pm.. i is dyin to go bac and see OO.. actualie even he in tis condition nw, but thn i still find him cute. i realie cannot imagine how am i goin to live with him for the rest of his life.. i realie tink its quite tedious to look after him now. requires alot of effort and time.. and lotz of tender lovin care.. realie not easy.. but thn no matter wat, aso cannot gif up on him. since the first dae i took him in, i will never turn him out..
Think its been quite sumtime since i haf updated tis.. end of mth cumin liao.. aniwae, much has been happenin recently..
Xiang just called and told mi OO eyes not doin too fine.. how?? why like tat? last sat, i went to suntect with xiang for the food fair.. thn actualie mummy aso wan cum de.. thn while waitin for mummy, thn she suddenly called, and sae OO hurt his eye again. just like last time, his eye pop out. but last time is the rite eye. now is the left eye. so we immediately rush him to the vet. coz its like 4plus on a sat, thn all the vets are closed, so we could onli brin him to mount pleasant. which turned out to be totally not pleasant..
so like last time, the vet sew up his eye lids, to keep his eyeball in the socket. and OO was made to stay a nite ther.. thou i insisted on brinin him home, but they wan to keep him for observation. tis time round, the vet said tat OO will not longer see. he will becum blind.. actualie the last time round whn he hurt his rite eye, we already knw his rite eye could no longer see, his simply depending on his left. and now his left aso ...
realie veri upset loh.. realie veri upsettin.. OO realie veri bao bei to mi loh.. realie duno how to describe.. his my first doggie.. and havin lived with him for like 3years plus..
tis one week is definatley not an easy week. i hav to get up earli in the morn b4 goin to wrk coz need to clear the mess OO made.. coz he cannot see, so he cant find his wae to the papers to pee and poo.. so he just do it round the hse.. u knw hw tedious is tat.. th ni nw everidae after wrk, i will simply rushed straight home, to see him. and aso to clean up the hse. i almost sweep and mop the livin rm everidae, and wash the kitchen floor like twice a dae.. i duno if tis goes on, can i take it anot.. heng xiang is clearin leave, so he came over everidae to help mi keep an eye on OO and lizzie whn we are all at wrk. he will cum my hse ard 9am, thn will onli leave after puttin mi to bed..
i realie thank him for it.. i realie realie appreciate it. if not for him, tink tis week is realie goin to be veri veri jia lat.. coz if not for him, there might be a even bigger mess waitin for mi whn i go home everidae after wrk.. but aso bo bian for xiang.. coz its his bao bei's bao bei..
so my poor OO.. realie veri poor ting. anione who sees him now will heartache.. it realie break my heart to see him like tat.. so he just called and tell mi OO stitches seems to be splittin open. Mummy is rushin home now, to brin thm to the vet.. to check on the eye. so worried. and i am onli stucked here, wherby i can do nth for thm..
they just finish seein the vet.. the vet sae his condition looks fine.. why is ther an opening is coz the swell subside, thus it lossen up. so its a good ting.. so at least tat puts my mind to rest..
so for the past one week, i spend my time in the office or at home. i rushed home everidae after wrk.. didnt even go aniwher.. suddenly feel like i am such a good ger.. but thn hor.. mondae i took urgent leave to stay home accompany OO.. thn in the morn whn OO slpin, i did sum hsewrk.. i filled a pill with water, and start to clean the hse.. i tink whn i cleanin the shelf tat hold the tv, tink i moved the wires.. and frm mondae till now, my tv went black and white.. xiang and ben did everiting they could to make the color cum back, but thn nth they did could brin the tv bac.. so since thn, i haf been watch the black and white tv.. the 7pm show, the 9pm show.. the singapore idols, all in blank and white.. my mum hide in her own rm, see her color tv, while mi and xiang haf onli the black and white tv.. my daddy cumin back tml.. duno he will scold mi anot.. hehe.
actualie tis whole week, i spend less thn 5bucks.. realie money savin loh. but thn all my savings gone.. all went into the bills for OO eyes.. abit heartache, but even more heartache for my OO..
goin to be 5pm soon liao.. but thn raymond is in the office todae. so i duno if i can go back on time.. recentli he awae for a conference. so i haf goin home almost before 6pm everidae.. todae he is ard.. i wonder is i can aso go bac b4 6pm.. i is dyin to go bac and see OO.. actualie even he in tis condition nw, but thn i still find him cute. i realie cannot imagine how am i goin to live with him for the rest of his life.. i realie tink its quite tedious to look after him now. requires alot of effort and time.. and lotz of tender lovin care.. realie not easy.. but thn no matter wat, aso cannot gif up on him. since the first dae i took him in, i will never turn him out..
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
Dear Blog,
Ermm, since why is the last time i updated the blog.. ermm.. quite long liao. how haf xin been recently?? Bad. Veri bad. Once again, i didnt manage to plucked up enugg courage to resign. so i'm feelin so disappointed with myself. realie disappointed and angry with myself.
well, put that aside ba. i guess everione is used to mi sayin i wan resign but i am still here rite, so its nth new to you pple aniwae.. i am in the office now. recentli i am feelin quite free. coz for my Grassykey project, i am no longer the center person. the motorola guy has gone dwn to suzhou with raymond, and frm there they haf sorted out alot of tings.. and aso frm then on, for ani issues, they will just cc angel in the emails, thus saved alot of troubles on my side to be repeating the same story over n over again.. but coz tis, i am feelin bored.. nth much to do.. so i am realie stuck here, tryin to clear all my paper wrk. which is bored. veri veri bored.
ermm.. xiang todae goin for an interview.. at bugis.. guess its either his havin the interview now, or his still waitin.. actualie i aso duno wat job izzit.. hope its sumting good thou..
tml i goin zouk.. ermm.. clubbin.. why do i feel so old like tat.. actualie i am still veri young mah. but thn why do i feel so old.. sumwho, write till here liao, i find this entry abit funnie.. but thn no doubt, i am still lookin forward to the clubbin trip. its realie a nites out for the gers, and we can all haf fun..
thursdae i am hopin to get an mc.. but thn raymond ther duno can take it anot. actualie i am quite a bad wrker hor.. on average i gets an mc once a mth.. i scare raymond will start to attitude.. at times he is just like a kid.. haizz.. i am feeling giddy now. the whole world seems to be spinin, round and round.. heng todae xiang is cumin to pick mi up frm wrk..
recently i received sms frm alot of long time no realie contact frewns.. haizz.. those daes wher i cna alwaes meet thm out as and whn i lke is gone.. nw with xiang ard, its realie harder to keep up with certain frewns.. the onli pple i have been meetin on a regular basis are my poly frewns.. pple like emi, esther and xingwei and huili..
last sun is xiong's bdae.. sista finaly 22 liao.. sat nite he treated us dinner.. a seafood dinner.. got crabbies, steam fish, tiger prawns, the pai ku wang and the froggie legs.. quite a spread loh.. thn i bought him a cake.. so at least tat dae saw sista, jonas and roy.. my long time no see A,B and C..
thn clement sms mi the yest for a show.. will try to an pai abit, so cna meet up with him.. tink didnt see him since emi's bdae party.. haizz.. i wan see everione.. duno how is everibody.. todae is a frewn's bdae.. guorong bdae.. haf not even sms him for i tink the past one year.. wonder how is he.. used to be quite close to him, whn i was still in sec sch.. i can still remember.. he treats mi like a xiaomeimei like tat.. his the first one who gave mi my first necklace.. and i still kept it.. still remember he told mi tat the bought mi tis necklace, coz ther's the purple stone, which is meant to bless mi with intelligence in sch wrk.. my 15 year old bdae prezzie.. actualie he is realie a frewn whom i knwn soo long, and quite close, but thn we are alwaes frewns, those brotherly and sisterly feeling frewns.. so nice to haf frewns liek these.. later i tink i will go sms him, wish him hapie bdae..
and did i mentioned tat i forgot to brin my hp out todae.. i realie duno wats wrong with mi liao.. twice in a week.. xiang's been tellin mi i am changin frm ginko nut to pea nut liao.. i am losin my memory.. cannot take it..
actualie i realie find it nice to keep blogs like tis.. not for anione's info, but for xin to read years dwn the road.. imagine after i successfulli leave tis place, i will be readin this blog, and sences of tis place will be floating out frm my brain.. and yar.. ah ger's granny passed awae.. tis couple of years realie not her year.. all her grand-parents are leavin her one by one like tat.. aniwae, haizz.. after she left office, thn i realised tat wat a good frewn she is.. normalli haf to wait till times like tis, thn will knw who treats u best.. frankly speakin, i tink she treats mi beta thn andrea and all.. whn asked who is my best frewn, it will be andrea and qian. but thn how much of thm do i knw now.. its like i realie duno who are they hangin ard with lah, and all of these stuff animore.. like qian took up wind-surfing.. quite surprising loh, coz i tot she is just as in-door as mi de, but thn now she doin all these out-door sports..
who is my best frewn now?? i aso got no idea.. ah ger treats mi as her zhi ji.. i like tis feelin. it makes mi feel important. i am important in her life.. but wat bout my "Best Frewn". Karen didnt even cum to my bdae party. I have to call and call to get thm in coz i wan to cut the cake, And ah ger left crying, coz she cant bear to leave mi, and emi and the rest already standby to take pics liao.. u knw wat i mean, so frm tis senerio, who are my best frewns?? my bdae party, in the end onli the poly pple stayed overnite.. the nxt dae we went to WWW.. wat bout my "Best Frewns"?? all rushin off coz they got their own programss.. andrea meetin new guys, qian got wind surfin the nxt dae.. haizz.. u knw wat i mean..
well, its 5.46pm now liao.. xiang said he will cum pick mi up at 6.30pm.. so i got 45min more to go.. but thn i dun feel like wrkin liao leh. but thn i dun dare leave too.. so i shall just continue stay on, write my blog..
finally, no matter how difficult it is, time still pass.. now is time to fang gong.. guess xiang is on his wae to my office. later duno wher we goin for dinner.. yest my colleauges told mi i slim dwn *smile*.. must be the effort of mi eatin either loti or nth for lunch..
hafta keep up the good effort.. todae aso loti for lunch. so later goin for dinner.. will try to curb, will not eat aniting too heavy..
Ermm, since why is the last time i updated the blog.. ermm.. quite long liao. how haf xin been recently?? Bad. Veri bad. Once again, i didnt manage to plucked up enugg courage to resign. so i'm feelin so disappointed with myself. realie disappointed and angry with myself.
well, put that aside ba. i guess everione is used to mi sayin i wan resign but i am still here rite, so its nth new to you pple aniwae.. i am in the office now. recentli i am feelin quite free. coz for my Grassykey project, i am no longer the center person. the motorola guy has gone dwn to suzhou with raymond, and frm there they haf sorted out alot of tings.. and aso frm then on, for ani issues, they will just cc angel in the emails, thus saved alot of troubles on my side to be repeating the same story over n over again.. but coz tis, i am feelin bored.. nth much to do.. so i am realie stuck here, tryin to clear all my paper wrk. which is bored. veri veri bored.
ermm.. xiang todae goin for an interview.. at bugis.. guess its either his havin the interview now, or his still waitin.. actualie i aso duno wat job izzit.. hope its sumting good thou..
tml i goin zouk.. ermm.. clubbin.. why do i feel so old like tat.. actualie i am still veri young mah. but thn why do i feel so old.. sumwho, write till here liao, i find this entry abit funnie.. but thn no doubt, i am still lookin forward to the clubbin trip. its realie a nites out for the gers, and we can all haf fun..
thursdae i am hopin to get an mc.. but thn raymond ther duno can take it anot. actualie i am quite a bad wrker hor.. on average i gets an mc once a mth.. i scare raymond will start to attitude.. at times he is just like a kid.. haizz.. i am feeling giddy now. the whole world seems to be spinin, round and round.. heng todae xiang is cumin to pick mi up frm wrk..
recently i received sms frm alot of long time no realie contact frewns.. haizz.. those daes wher i cna alwaes meet thm out as and whn i lke is gone.. nw with xiang ard, its realie harder to keep up with certain frewns.. the onli pple i have been meetin on a regular basis are my poly frewns.. pple like emi, esther and xingwei and huili..
last sun is xiong's bdae.. sista finaly 22 liao.. sat nite he treated us dinner.. a seafood dinner.. got crabbies, steam fish, tiger prawns, the pai ku wang and the froggie legs.. quite a spread loh.. thn i bought him a cake.. so at least tat dae saw sista, jonas and roy.. my long time no see A,B and C..
thn clement sms mi the yest for a show.. will try to an pai abit, so cna meet up with him.. tink didnt see him since emi's bdae party.. haizz.. i wan see everione.. duno how is everibody.. todae is a frewn's bdae.. guorong bdae.. haf not even sms him for i tink the past one year.. wonder how is he.. used to be quite close to him, whn i was still in sec sch.. i can still remember.. he treats mi like a xiaomeimei like tat.. his the first one who gave mi my first necklace.. and i still kept it.. still remember he told mi tat the bought mi tis necklace, coz ther's the purple stone, which is meant to bless mi with intelligence in sch wrk.. my 15 year old bdae prezzie.. actualie he is realie a frewn whom i knwn soo long, and quite close, but thn we are alwaes frewns, those brotherly and sisterly feeling frewns.. so nice to haf frewns liek these.. later i tink i will go sms him, wish him hapie bdae..
and did i mentioned tat i forgot to brin my hp out todae.. i realie duno wats wrong with mi liao.. twice in a week.. xiang's been tellin mi i am changin frm ginko nut to pea nut liao.. i am losin my memory.. cannot take it..
actualie i realie find it nice to keep blogs like tis.. not for anione's info, but for xin to read years dwn the road.. imagine after i successfulli leave tis place, i will be readin this blog, and sences of tis place will be floating out frm my brain.. and yar.. ah ger's granny passed awae.. tis couple of years realie not her year.. all her grand-parents are leavin her one by one like tat.. aniwae, haizz.. after she left office, thn i realised tat wat a good frewn she is.. normalli haf to wait till times like tis, thn will knw who treats u best.. frankly speakin, i tink she treats mi beta thn andrea and all.. whn asked who is my best frewn, it will be andrea and qian. but thn how much of thm do i knw now.. its like i realie duno who are they hangin ard with lah, and all of these stuff animore.. like qian took up wind-surfing.. quite surprising loh, coz i tot she is just as in-door as mi de, but thn now she doin all these out-door sports..
who is my best frewn now?? i aso got no idea.. ah ger treats mi as her zhi ji.. i like tis feelin. it makes mi feel important. i am important in her life.. but wat bout my "Best Frewn". Karen didnt even cum to my bdae party. I have to call and call to get thm in coz i wan to cut the cake, And ah ger left crying, coz she cant bear to leave mi, and emi and the rest already standby to take pics liao.. u knw wat i mean, so frm tis senerio, who are my best frewns?? my bdae party, in the end onli the poly pple stayed overnite.. the nxt dae we went to WWW.. wat bout my "Best Frewns"?? all rushin off coz they got their own programss.. andrea meetin new guys, qian got wind surfin the nxt dae.. haizz.. u knw wat i mean..
well, its 5.46pm now liao.. xiang said he will cum pick mi up at 6.30pm.. so i got 45min more to go.. but thn i dun feel like wrkin liao leh. but thn i dun dare leave too.. so i shall just continue stay on, write my blog..
finally, no matter how difficult it is, time still pass.. now is time to fang gong.. guess xiang is on his wae to my office. later duno wher we goin for dinner.. yest my colleauges told mi i slim dwn *smile*.. must be the effort of mi eatin either loti or nth for lunch..
hafta keep up the good effort.. todae aso loti for lunch. so later goin for dinner.. will try to curb, will not eat aniting too heavy..
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