Cottage by the River

12th December 2004

At 3.26pm, my grandpa passed awae.. He was admitted into the hospital last wednesdae, coz his not feeling well.. tings went okie, till fridae.. he went into a coma in fridae, and all the wae till sundae, wher he never woke up..

sad.. i am realie sad.. tis is the first time i lost sumone so close to mi.. even thou among all my grandparents, his the most distant to mi. but thn its still hard to let go..

i arrived at the hospital, the doctor has already removed all the equipment which makes him hang on.. coz his breathing is getin weaker, its a choice to either go to icu, wher they will need to use more equipment, poke more pins in him.. and he will at most hang on till nite. Or, to let him go.

So when he go, its a peaceful one.. no pain, no nth.. so slowly, his breathing becums weaker, and weaker, before it stop, and his heart beat getin slower and slower.. till it stops.

ever since his in the hospital since wed, my granny refues to go see him.. even thou after he went into the coma, and tings dun look brite.. tink she already more or less knws wats goin to happen.. maybe they do haf tat 6th sense.. his no matter wat, her soul mate for more thn half a decade. so on sundae, she went dwn to see him.. and tat makes it the last time shes goin to see him alife. it seems like his hangin on for the past few daes for her sake. not wating to let go, till she has cum to see him.. at times, its realie not up to u to believe anot in this will power stuff.. after the doc has plucked out all the equipment frm him, she left the room, and set rite outside the room.. once she left the ward, he aso left..

4 daes has passed since.. i am at the wake everidae.. mondae and tues i got half dae leave, compliments frm my boss.. and wed to fridae i will be on compassionate leave.. so everidae after wrk, i will head dwn to my granny place, and will stay ther till late.. i was ther overnite last nite, w/o slp.. u knw wat.. its alwaes after whn sumting precious is gone, onli thn u will knw how to missed and appreciate it. i regretted not tokin to him more whn his ard.. coz i was never realie close to him, i alwaes shun awae frm him whn he try tokin to mi.. coz i alwaes feel tat ther is no common topic betwn us, and i alwaes got the impression tat his veri strict. bt thn i realie regret it nw.. and after much tinkin, the onli memories i haf with him is a pair of snoopy shoes..

tml will be the dae wher he will be cremeted.. i haf been on and off cryin for the past few daes.. whn sumting triggers mi off.. like whn my granny started singin and cryin.. whn she does tat, noone ard can ctrl their tears.. i guess i will need to pack more tissue tml.. i am realie realie realie upset bout it.. will need to wake up earli tml to see him off for his last trip.. so i goin slp nw liao, didnt slp at all last nite, so feelin tired liao..