Dear Blog,

Its mi again. The time nw is 11.47am. Started late todae coz this morning abit busy. So now already start to want eng liao. Still got sum wrk on hand, but thn want take my own sweet time to finish it. Till now I still didnt reallie tok to ah ger. Still dun reallie feel liek tokkin to her. Sae mi xiao qi ye hao, childish ye hao, but thn I am like tat. I will icqin Esther, thn she's said yar.. ther's no frewns at wrk.. but thn i tot ah ger is different. But thn seems like she's no exception. Once we leave this place, ther is no such thing as frewns between us liao. She earn her money, i earn mine. As if she will help mi in future whn i need frm her. True loh. Schooling frewns are more frewns loh.
Now time is 1.30pm. todae order lunch in coz Miii fever, not feeling well so guess she doesnt wan go under the sun. I continue to be cold towards her. Its not i purposely de. but thn i just no mood to go entertain her. she told mi she wan tender resignation todae. i told her to go ahead. i mean why bother tellin mi. I felt damn betrayed loh.
nw 4.03pm liao. the dae actualie passes reasonably fast. Errmm.. intend to leave on the dot todae too. Tml xiang sae he wans make a trip home, and wans mi to follow him home aso. His sis goin Holland.. Actualie quite nice hor.. tat time just went USA for 2year plus, thn just came back a couple of wks bac, thn nw her company sendin her to Holland liao.. envy ah.. i aso wan.. So later after wrk i tinkin go meet him at Hougang Mall, maybe pick up a farewell present for her, thn go home help mummy do sum stuff and be her good ger..
Till now i still not tokin to ah ger. she told Miii i angry with her. Miii cum dwn ask mi wat happen, thn i dun wan tok bout it.. Well.. nth more to be said. Wats done is done. wats decided is decided. Nxt time i aso haf to be selfish. Just tink of myself, and never others..
5.38pm liao.. actualie is fang gong time liao. but thn noone shows ani signs of leavin.. so i aso dun dare leave.. damn jia lat hor.. reach fang gong time liao dun dare go.. wat sort of nonsense is tis.. haizz.. damn jia lat.. how how.. mr te cum dwn sae my tooling and ah ger tooling got problem. thn ask us go up see mould. knw his pattern too well liao, he is wan ask us up thn tok to us de.. he knw mi and ah ger like tat.. i thn dun wan tok.. nth to tok bout. another 5min haf pass.. ermm.. wan leave leh.. if not later go walk ard liao reach home too late mummy not hapie.. coz cant do tings for her.. haizz.. nth to do liao still haf to stay in office dun do wat. damn bo liaozz..

Dear blog,

I am now in the office.. Todae is a Mondae, a rainy mondae morning.. time nw is 8.53am.. but thn my PC clock is i tink 9min faster.. Well.. hw nice is it if I can stay home and sleep todae.. BenBen didnt wakie go school todae.. Guess their holis started liao.. Hw nice.. Actualie its getting quite boring at work. I dun like tat boriness at wrk.. I realie feel like resigin, coz i wanted sumthing challanging, sumting alwaes makin my dae busy.. once I'm busy, my dae aso pass by faster.. like now, the time realie crawls..
Anywae, did I mention in my last log tat I failed my TP?? I tink I did lah.. but thn nemind, i didnt expect myself to pass either.. My nxt test date book liao.. its on the 28th July.. Does this date ring any bell? Well, its a dae before my bdae.. So if I reallie pass, this will be the best bdae present I'm goin to recieve liao.. thou I tink I can make it this time round liao.. but thn i aso dun wan be overly confident.. thn I got all my lessons date liao.. after calculating all the dates, this retest will cost mi about 500over bucks.. actualie if its onli 500bucks, tink i can tender my resignation on 1st june, thn wrk till end of june.. thn like tat, with may + june's salary, will haf 2k plus.. after taking awae the 500, and all my expenses, i tink i is can make it liao de.. over the wkend actualei wan discuss with xiang de.. but thn it slip my mind..
huiyu resignin end of this mth.. actualie i tinkin once she left, maybe i will be more busy, coz i might haf to mroe or less cover up her wrk.. but thn if this is not true, thn i aso got no idea hw am i goin to boring 2mth here.. but thn may actualie passess pretty fast.. too many pple's bdae, so alot of events to look forward to, and aso got my drivin test(took 2 daes leave;so tat is a damn short wk for mi..) and aso all the mother daes celebration n stuff like tat.. actualie realie quite eventfull loh.. tis wk got no events leh.. nth much to look forward to, except pay dae, wich is end of tis week.. hehe~* so realie hope time will pass faster ah~*
Okie.. start doin abit of wrk liao.. time is onli 9.30am.. after I have updated this customer into the system, i wonder wat other stuff i can do.. seems like wat i can do is nth much liao leh.. later got to go dig sum stuff out to do.. wonder wat xiang is doin.. till nw never sms mi.. tink he must be hiding in his bunk, slpin.. ns life nw like veri hao ming liao.. duno todae will meet him anot leh.. mondae he is dun haf nite off de.. but thn he aso bo chup de.. but thn duno leh.. i duno wher shld i go after wrk leh..
Todae on my wae to wrk.. I kept tinkin about wrk.. I dun realie like wat i'm doing now. I'm tinkin of resigning, thn go get those part time sales job.. like sum cake shop or sell clothes de or wat.. coz i all along do sales, i am okie with it de.. so i tinkin maybe i shld go bac to sales for the time being.. i might be happier.. ermm.. as for pay wise, i aso dun tink will get ani lower.. my take home onli 1k plus abit.. if i go into sales, i believe aso ard the same de.. the onli ting is haf to wrk on sats and sundae.. tats the onli draw back.. but thn actualie off during the wkdaes aso not tat bad mah rite.. less pple ard, thn got more time to myself..
now 10.42am.. i spent the last hour searchin for an email leh.. but thn tink for tis issue, tat time due to time constriants, there is no time for ani emails.. haizz.. nemind, wait till my COO come bac thn see wat he saes ba..
11.29am liao.. the past hour didint do aniting muchie.. ermm..
now 1.38 liao wor.. like tat 2 hr pass liao.. bt one hr was lunchie.. haizz.. now i deng fang gong liao.. boring ah.. reale boring.. juz now go frewnster ther seesee looklook.. thn saw tat yk got new pics wor.. thn go in seesee looklook abit.. he like didnt change one bit leh.. still the same old him.. die lah.. feel like slpin now.. the slpin spell is all over mi.. how how??
duno if xiang is cumin out todae anot.. butthn nemind lah.. got the sat tat slpy feeling.. if he not cumin out,
Mr te now with us.. he telling us he end of tis mth goin to tender, thn nw huiyu sae till like so overjoy, coz got pple accompany her to leave. i mean i am irritated loh.. thn he kept rubbing in.. and mr te aso. wat can i sae.. i realie hate it here. a mth ago whn i wanted to leave, she is the one who hold mi back. thou i haf to admit i aso got my reserve bout leavin, but thn she realie plays a big part loh. thn nw coz she got in ntu liao, thn like tat sae wan leave.. how do u wan mi to feel.. damn betrayed loh. i knw its for her own good. so i understand, and i kept quiet. in fact i tink i was pretty encouragin loh. and nw she haf to rub in like tat.. hw do u wan mi to feel. thn i flare, mr te still sae might as well ah ger aso go loh. she still got the cheek to tell him is all coz i got the finicial problem. cum on loh.. i've been telling her i have my drivin expenses counted out liao. i can actualie resigned end of tis mth de. thn she is the one who asked mi stay. wat the fuck. angry. realie angry.
damn pissed. dun wan tok to her. in fact i dun feel like tokkin to her again. wonder i can tahan how long. but thn i realie dun feel like tokin.. hate her. in fact i tink its all coz her i am in wat i am now. if not i will leave long ago liao. still tink she's my best frewn here.. wat crap. am i kickin a big fuss out of nth?? do u tink i'm in the wrong? duno lah.. damn angry now. todae i goin to leave on the dot. let her go ahead and tender tis mth.. i haf to calm dwn and tink about it.
Okie.. about 20min haf passed frm just now, the time is now 3.11pm. i feel more clam dwn liao. but thn still cant forgive her. tink tis matter haf been in my heart for a longlong time liao. thn todae she like tat, its just trigger off and i exploded. till nw, i dun tink i am in the wrong. its not i stubborn or wat. just one word loh. selfish. but thn cant help it loh. she dun even tink bout her own twin, not to mention mi. but thn please loh, dun rub in liao. i already need to constantly remind myself to look on the bright side. w/o her havin to remind mi of the dark side. still got 2hr plus thn can go home liao. tink xiang is not meetin mi todae.. tink aso rush for him to be cumin in and out. but its okie, i can go home rite after wrk.. go back and slp on all my stuff.. i'm a very direct person.. like means like, dun like means dun like. and whn i no like, i realie show it. tats mi. i'm a straight forward ger. and rite now, i'm feelin damn pissed.. very angry.. i dun wan yi qi yong shi. no point resign coz her.. thn in the end shou ku de shi zi ji.. so tonite, must reallie tally out my final conclusion. thn if all odds points to mi leavin, thn i'll tender tml.. but thn actualie i dun mind abit more cash de.. its like 1k more leh.. but thn it aso means 1 more mth of sufferin here loh.. so todae got to go back tok to xiang and all abit.. 3.49 liao.. in bout 2hrs more i believe i'll be out of tis place liao..
haizz.. damn sian.. realie sianzz.. mr te just cum tok to mi abit.. well.. he is ask mi to leave aso since not hapie.. and given my calibre, sure can find job sumwher else. but thn nw aso huiyu sae prefer us not to leave together. everyting aso she sae. fuck loh. but thn i dun wan get manuliplitated by anione.. i wan to do wat i wan. i wan go tink bout it thn see how. actualie feelin slightly beta liao. and now 4.17pm on my clock liao. so in an hour time, thn i can start to count dwn to go home liao.. todae i realie didnt do aniting much.. but thn aso quite li hai hor.. neber do ting aso pass one dae liao.. not bad ah.. i finaly learnt the power to use a long time to do a simple task.. guess tis is wrk smart ba.. thou not exactly smart, but thn at least yar.. guess tis is aso one wae of wrkin ba..
she tried tokin to mi. but thn i dun wan tok to her. nw she aso like not too hapie liao. bt thn her prob. cant be bothered with her..
nw 4.37pm.. actualie i frm tis morn write till nw.. aso not bad hor.. like todae xiang busy in camp. so his reply aso abit slow.. haizz.. feel beta nw liao. but thn still dun feel like tokin to her.. in an hour time,i will be on my wae home liao. thou todae is not a busy dae, the time aso passes reasonably fast.. HEHE..4.57pm liao wor.. left half hour more to go.. realie looking forward in goin home.. hehe.. at least my mood beta now..
5.49pm liao.. i am leavin the office liao.. xiang sms mi sae his meetin mi at my place ther.. thn go my hsey watch a vcd liek tat.. tink he knws i upset.. so purposely wan accompany mi.. realie apprecaite him for bein ther for mi alwaes.. i knw i at times aso not too nice to him.. but thn he still so nice to mi. love u dear~* haizz.. he aso never reads tis de.. got write and no write same de.. leavein liao.. tml tink i can write another lenghty lenghty de..

Todae 20th May.. Hengheng's bdae todae.. duno if i am meetin him todae anot.. Happie Bdae Heng~~!~! his 21st bdae todae.. may all his wishes cum true leh..

Aniwae, i failed my TP.. well.. didnt realie feel mush about it.. coz i more or less expected it de.. if pass thn realie is mirical.. thn after tat ermm.. yar.. went ktv..

todae i in a mood swing.. in a damn bad mood now.. i did something wrong todae.. i got the 2D Drawing frm the motorola on 30th april.. thn i forget pass to mr te.. thn as a result, thn the tooling dun haf cavity marking.. thn i knw its my fault.. i realie knw its my fault.. thn i told hr te about it. thn i said its my fault.. but thn he still wan to charge for the cavity marking.. thn i called fred in china, thn i knw fred abit pissed loh.. thn i tink its all my fault.. fred dun wan to pay for it.. thn haizz.. in the end mr te called fred.. so the conclusion is fred needs to pay loh.. as in i here haf to raise PO for it loh.. but thn haizz.. mr te said is not my fault, ask mi to stop sayin its my fault.. coz even if i give him the drawing on 30th may, he will still need us to pay for it de.. but thn the ting is fred is pissed i tink.. haizz.. so over tis i am in a damn low mood liao..

to make tings worst, huiyu is not too supportive aso.. i knw she got her own set of problems.. but thn haizz.. thn nxt wk is the lasty wk of tis mth liao. she just told mi she's goin to tender her resignation nxt wed or thursdae.. haizz.. i am tinkin of stayin till end of july actualie so i can at least pay off all the driving stuff.. coz just over tis wkend, i spend bou 400bucks on drivin.. but thn given wat i'm feelin now, i realie got no wish to continue.. how?? help ah~* i knw if i were to brin it up to xiang, he will sure ask mi resign, thn driving he will help mi pay.. but thn i dun realie like it like tis.. so i got a week time to consider to stay or to go.. and even if i go, i aso got nth to do.. to start looking for job, or to go bac to sch.. if its bac to sch, thn i tink most prob it will be SIM liao..

todae realie in a sucky mood.. haizz..

Todae 18th May.. another big dae in my life.. actualie frankly speaking lah.. tink tis year realie quite a busy year for mi.. i aso duno how to sae lah.. ermm.. like alot of event and activities liek tat loh.. hehe~* got lots of upz and dwns.. but thn one ting tat never change is life still goes on.. regardless i hapie or sad, it will not stop and wait for mi.. thou after todae, i will haf to wrk straight for a couple of mths, a/o any holisdae like tis.. but thn wat to do.. realie got to plan to go bac sch instead of wrkin.. but evn if i were to go bac sch now, will onli be my escape for tis period of time..

i now, actualie planin to stay on till xiang ord, thn by thn we can start plannin wat we wan do.. ermm.. but thn tat is wat i tink lah.. in actual fact, to stay on at sei woo is realie not easy... or shld i sae its not as easy as i tink de.. haizz.. actulie end of the mth cumin again.. time we will face a cross junction again.. to tender or to stay.. haizz.. if dun tender, sure regret de.. tender liao aso like haizz.. pple alwaes sae tender le thn suan le.. but thn its not like tat de loh..

okie.. todae is the big dae.. goin to take my driving test liao.. realie hope i can make it.. thou i knw my diring still quite dangerous, lack of safty factors, but thn i realie hope i can make it still loh.. kae.. pls pple, pray for mi hor.. pray hard hard tat nth will go wrong.. even if i no pass, aso nemind.. i dun wan later accident thn jia lat liao..

ERrmm.. wow.. this blog actualie revamped.. tink i can post up a pic or two now.. but thn haizz.. wait till i more free ba.. hehe.. ermm.. todae i on leave.. thn went drivin.. todae driving sucks loh.. so i tink tml is xiong duo ji shao de.. but thn haizz.. nemind ba.. sat went sentosa.. acutualie didnt do muchie.. just go ther slack ard.. but thn ther was no much sun, so i didnt managed to get any tan.. yar.. thn wore the new luminous green bikini.. tok cum fotos.. will update it into frewnster whn i got time and all.. the gers were sayin i am sooo fair.. hehe.. actualie i like it fair leh.. fair fair not nice meh?? thn i didnt manage to bath at sentosa coz the queue was like soooo long.. thn yar..so i left the place even w/o bathing.. thn yar loh.. soooo dirty leh.. bua tahan.. but thn haizz..

ermm.. thn sundae went drivin, didnt do well either.. thn after tat argue with xiang abit.. attitude him abit more, thn went granny hse for dinner.. the food ther realie yum yum.. thn vivian said xiang is my fat bf.. haha~* she actualie said he fat.. actualie xiang not fat lah.. just tat coz sat go sentosa.. thn ai mei de him went to gym.. wan to show off abit.. so his quite big size now.. yar.. hehe~* but thn nemind.. i haf a fun time teasing him too.. thn play mahjong abit while he go home, thn after tat play with the gers, and help out with their homewrk and OMG.. ah verene's maths is soooo tough leh.. she's onli in Pri3 leh.. but thn the maths hor.. realie de leh.. i haf to use the algebra simlutanous equation to solve it.. thn xiang came pick mi up, thn he aso help abit.. thn he uses tis duno wat method to solve it.. haizz.. but thn realie loh.. Pri3 onli leh.. the maths hor.. realie damn diff loh.. i used the sec sch method to solved it loh..
ermm.. thn todae mondae.. actualie quite a nice feeling.. mondae no need go wrk, thn stay home like tis slack.. thn after driving, after lunchie thn cum homey.. actualie supposed to do hse wrk de.. but thn benben called mi, sae mummy left a note on her door.. actualie is telling mi to do the hsewrk de.. thn he ask mi wat mummy wrote.. thn he asked izzit ask him do hsewrk, thn i said YES~* hehe.. so benben realie go do hsewrk loh.. hehe.. after he did the hsewrk he called mummie thn realise tat note is actualie for mi de.. hehe.. who ask him chinese sooo poor.. so bo bian lah.. hehe~*
now wan go movie with xiang.. but thn not much show recently leh.. and to make ting worst, his playin PS2 with benben now.. win liao loh.. he rather play with him thn go out with mi.. dun like him de...

ERrmm.. wow.. this blog actualie revamped.. tink i can post up a pic or two now.. but thn haizz.. wait till i more free ba.. hehe.. ermm.. todae i on leave.. thn went drivin.. todae driving sucks loh.. so i tink tml is xiong duo ji shao de.. but thn haizz.. nemind ba.. sat went sentosa.. acutualie didnt do muchie.. just go ther slack ard.. but thn ther was no much sun, so i didnt managed to get any tan.. yar.. thn wore the new luminous green bikini.. tok cum fotos.. will update it into frewnster whn i got time and all.. the gers were sayin i am sooo fair.. hehe.. actualie i like it fair leh.. fair fair not nice meh??

ermm.. thn sundae went drivin, didnt do well either.. thn after tat argue with xiang abit.. attitude him abit more, thn went granny hse for dinner.. the food ther realie yum yum.. thn vivian said xiang is my fat bf.. haha~* she actualie said he fat.. actualie xiang not fat lah.. just tat coz sat go sentosa.. thn ai mei de him went to gym.. wan to show off abit.. so his quite big size now.. yar.. hehe~* but thn nemind.. i haf a fun time teasing him too.. thn play mahjong abit while he go home, thn after tat play with the gers, and help out with their homewrk and OMG.. ah verene's maths is soooo tough leh.. she's onli in Pri3 leh.. but thn the maths hor.. realie de leh.. i haf to use the algebra simlutanous equation to solve it.. thn xiang came pick mi up, thn he aso help abit.. thn he uses tis duno wat method to solve it.. haizz.. but thn realie loh.. Pri3 onli leh.. the maths hor.. realie damn diff loh.. i used the sec sch method to solved it loh..
ermm.. thn todae mondae.. actualie quite a nice feeling.. mondae no need go wrk, thn stay home like tis slack.. thn after driving, after lunchie thn cum homey.. actualie supposed to do hse wrk de.. but thn benben called mi, sae mummy left a note on her door.. actualie is telling mi to do the hsewrk de.. thn he ask mi wat mummy wrote.. thn he asked izzit ask him do hsewrk, thn i said YES~* hehe.. so benben realie go do hsewrk loh.. hehe.. after he did the hsewrk he called mummie thn realise tat note is actualie for mi de.. hehe.. who ask him chinese sooo poor.. so bo bian lah.. hehe~*
now wan go movie with xiang.. but thn not much show recently leh.. and to make ting worst, his playin PS2 with benben now.. win liao loh.. he rather play with him thn go out with mi.. dun like him de...

Its mi.. and its lucnhie time.. i am in the office.. tink its raining cats and doggies outside.. but thn it doesnt matter.. coz tis truly reflects my mood.. feelin damn unhappie now..
yest huiyu sms mi sae she got into NTU liao leh.. thn its like i am realie hapie for her loh.. its like at least she got sumting she wanted and stuff like tat.. frankly speakin lah.. i am relaie hapie for her.. but thn my after tot is i am sad for my ownself. its like yar.. coz i didnt get in loh.. thn yar.. thou pple are tellin mi tat ther is still chance.. but thn cum on loh.. i knw my own results and all.. i realie didnt do well de loh.. wat xiang sae is true lah.. she sacrifice all her time in poly to study hard.. while i use the time to play hard, so whn it cums to the seed that we sow, obviously she she gets a sweeter harvest loh.. i knw tis theory, so thou i am hopin for miricle to hapen, but thn i still didnt put in too much hope, coz if i didnt get in, thn its realie disaterous...
well.. actualie nw i not hapie with her, its not coz of the uni problem.. coz i cant blame her for it. its onli mi who played too hard in poly.. but thn wat realie makes mi mad is her attitude loh.. i mean yar.. todae i'm realie busy loh.. i mean wrk duno why all starts to cum in all at the same time.. but thn at least, show sum respect loh.. i knw she's busy. tats coz she's not wrkin smart enuff.. she's simply wrkin hard.. so as a result, she's just sloggin awae.. so whn she's free, thn she will cum to my side and wan tok cock and all.. thn todae she like not free, thn she realie throw mi aside liek tat.. i felt so played.. tis is not wat frewns shld be de.. i relaie dun appreciate tis nonsense loh.. i'm angry. realie realie angry. with her attitude. i realie regret stayin for her sake.. in wrk, ther'e realie no such tings as frewns.. at least wrkin for so long, i finaly has got to knw tis point.. all my bosses and colleauge has told mi tis. but thn we choose to differ it.. now, i realie understand it liao..

Just reached office.. todae is tuesdae.. now is 8.48am on my clock.. hehe~* just wanna drop a note.. yesterdae, after wrk, i went to yishun inter walkwalk wif huiyu.. thn hor.. hehe~* i pierce my ear hole leh.. hehe~* 20 years in my life.. tis is the first time.. actualie its aso not as pain as i tot it would be lah.. so ermm.. yar.. hehe~*