Cottage by the River

Dear Bloggie,

Today is the 28th of July 2005. The last dae xin is 21 years old. Lotz of wonderful thing happened while xin is 21. Let us do a fast recap.

1. Xin got her Driving licence in October last year, after 2 attempts.

2. Changed a new job. With a better environment, and of coz a higher pay.

3. Xin took a plane of out Singapore to Bangkok. My last trip on a plane was like in 2002.

4. Opened a new saving account and my Visa Mini..

5. Changed a new hairstyle. Thou its still long rebonded, but at least I cut my fridge short.

6. Xin got a wonderful guy in her life, and now that guy is gone... (this dont sound too wonderful..)

Well, I'm sure lots of other stuff happened, but its just that I cant recall it now.

This is definately one of my worst birthday.. For the past few days, things simply got worst as 29th July is approaching. I spent the whole of yesterday crying in the office. My emotions simply got hold of me, and I start to cry. Talked to the Tealady, then to Irene, and also Angie... And also other colleagues who pass by me. And of coz, Huiyu and Andrea.

Especially Huiyu. Really thank her for spending so much time with me yesterday. I kept crying, and my whole face is so swollen and my eyes so red and puffy, that I dont have to go to hide in the toilet to hide and cry. Totally pointless to hide coz my face simply points out that xin is crying. So i simply sit at my seat and cry...

Well, I thought I can get over it. Went out with Beast a couple of days back. After talking to him, I felt so much better. I thought I am getting better. Coz no matter what, I survive a week. But yesterday, coz its so close to my birthday, emotions really got hold of me...

Then after work meet up with Peishan and Jiale. Talked so much to them, and I felt so much better after talking to them.

Actually during this period of time, I am really greatful to all my friends. I realised that I have lots of good friends around me, who are really just a call away from me. They never turned me down should I need a listening ear. In fact they offered theirs to me even before I asked.

Thanks everyone. I will stand up soon. I will not disappoint all of you and make all of you worried about me again. As you all said, xin is a strong girl. I can do it.

Tomorrow's the day. Xin's turning 22.

Evrything would really be perfect if his still around, still mine.

But well, fact remains as fact.

I still love him alot. Spent time thinking, and I realised what a wonderful guy he is. All the things he have done for me and all. I realised what I lousy girlfrewn I have been all along.

But his a cruel one. Just leaving me like that. Not even a 2nd chance, or anything.

Well, this might be fate. We might really not be fated to be together...

But as the Tealady told me. Since I still love him so deeply after he treated me like that, then I should let him go. If the one I loved is happy, I should also be happy for him.

And last Saturday, xin's a greedy girl. I made 3 wishes before I blew out the candle. I hope they all come true. Coz the wishes I made on my 20th and 21st birthday all came true. Not too hard to guess what are my wishes right.

Tomorrow morning, I shall wake up early. I will doll myself up, and stand infront of the mirror. And I'll smile at myself, and wished myself a Happy Birthday.

*~HAPPY BIRTHDAY XIN~*

Ps* If you see this, please send me an sms and wish me a Happie Birthdae kae.. You will make xin a happie girl with just that 5cents.