Cottage by the River

Dear Bloggie,


You know.. I somehow was very upset yesterday.


I was just suppressing myself all through the day.. but as 5pm comes nearer I got sadder instead of happier. So much so that when I was on my way home, I got a little depress and felt like crying. I was asking myself.. if I should change and go for a jog and clear my head a little or should I buy a good dinner and stuff myself away.


Logically.. the optimal option should be to go for a jog, even a short 2km might work wonders. But before I could make up my mind, Mummy called and asked me to buy Dinner for her.. so I crave in and took the easy way out - pigging out on food.


I know Boyfriend is waiting for that sms.. to let him know I've reached home; its a daily ritual. But somehow.. I dont want to do it. He buzz me at 7pm, asking me if I've reach home.. maybe worried coz I should be home an hour earlier. So I replied back on msn.. that I've reached home. all the 1-worded ans flew between us. I know his upset at my indifference all of a sudden, and me.. am upset that his going out. But by now.. we have 2 Angry Parties - Me and Him.


Hohoho.. so the mystery unveils - I am upset coz he has a Dinner Date.


But why.. why does he have so many Dinner Dates. By now.. I already knew this Jovial Man has MANY friends. I can take those gatherings in groups; even if its held frequently like once a week. But it is those 1-to-1 meeting that irks me.. especially if its a Girl. Call it Jealousy or Possessive - I dont care.


And seriously.. which Friend in the opposite gender (no matter how platonic is it) will still ask an attached Friend out as frequent as an Bi-weekly affair for a 1-to-1 Dinner Date. She asked him out on Friday initially.. but he later change it to Thursday as he can sense my resentment.


We kind of trashed it out early this morning (err.. like 1am) as I could not sleep and he has return from Dinner. But I am still upset - I do not want him to reject such dates; I dont want him to change his lifestyle after I came into the picture. But yet I cannot take such frequent dates!! He said I am his piority now and he will cease going if I do not like it - see.. this is not the result that I want.


Any compromise?? I'm not sure.. he sure wants to ensure that I am happy; coz he said only then he'll be happy. But yet.. will he be truly happy? I am deprieving him from a lifestyle that he had all these while.


Is this our first arguement?? I'm not sure either.. coz from beginning till end no angry or hurtful words has been exchanged.


Sigh.. no idea what's next. =(