Thursday, February 26, 2009

Dear Bloggie,

I deleted him... away from MSN, from HP.

I hope I can delete him away from my heart in the same manner, at the click of a button. If it could only be so easy...

Xin... successfully entered depression.
Dear Bloggie,
雨过天晴。。昨日天空划过道美丽的彩虹。。

难得看到一道完整的彩虹。。虽然我没请眼目睹,可是单单看照片,我都能会心一笑。

看清楚。。有两道彩虹肩并肩哦。。 色彩分明,真得很壮观。。

大自然的奥妙,总让人感到高深莫测。雨过天晴。。彩虹似乎为人们带来希望。。希望未来的日子里,我的生命力也能有道明亮的彩虹给我道光,为我指引方向。

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Dear Bloggie,

So… I do look like a Taiwanese. =)

I have a supplier from Taiwan here for a meeting. After the meeting, I was with him at the reception trying to get him a cab back to the hotel.

He told me that… I look like his University Classmate! 所以特别的情切。。

We talked and talked as we wait for my Recep to get the cab… Turned out, his 2 years older then me and I’m the same age as his younger sister… *难道月老又在做工了?*

See!! A Taiwanese telling me I look like his Taiwanese Classmate… =p
Dear Bloggie,
An impromtu arrangment to meet up with ex-colleauges from KM for Dinner last night... A wonderful evening spent talking about the past and updating me on the pressent. Seemed like after I have left, much has changed... =)

Meet up with SL at Tampines, and WH drove by to pick us up... Dinner was at Brewerkz @ Clarke Quay.


This is a great place to chill out... Just that I found the tables are placed a little too close, hence you might have to rise your voice up by a notch to be heard...

A wide array of Beer for selection... Well, I know Bestie and QH will love this. But unfortunately... Me no big fan of Beer.

We ordered 2 Main and 1 Side to share among 4... I like the marsh potatoe! Its super yummy... The herbal taste is subtle but yet... ah. Just nice. =)

Thou I dont fancy Beer much... But I got to say, this is good. I hated beer as I find it too gassy and the after taste sucks big time. But for this, I actually like the after taste. It leave a tingling malt taste on my mouth, not the regular bitter and 'siap siap' taste.

A night of boost and wonderful company... That makes me a happy girl. =)

Anyway... is this a time where people are suddenly thinking about the past?

Soulfly has been sms-ing me quite alot recently... He tried asking me out last evening, but I politely decline as I already had a dinner date with my ex-colleauges. He later sms-ed me and ask me "What can make you more willing to communicate? Mouth hard hard like woodpecker."

Uncle I has also sms-ed me out of the blue this morning... A series of sms-es flow between the both of us, updating each other of our current life. But he did tried asking me if I am attached currently... But before you think too much, Uncle I is still attached as of Valentine's Day (I took a peep on his Facebook)... =p

These guys... are my last 'object-of-interest'. All attached, but at the same time trying to be friendly with me after a year's break... Well, I'm taking it in my stride, I'm fine.

Coz... Today is my 1st mth anniversary with Grouchy Bear. (if... we're still together.)

Monday, February 16, 2009

Dear Bloggie,

A brand new week…

Long long post ahead…

Did you have a good Valentine’s Day?

Well… I know I did.

With Friends.

In fact, ‘Celebration’ began on Friday night. Arranged for a trip to DF with a hidden agenda not known to many, and we’re really glad that it turned out to be a success somehow. QH and I have a little alcohol overdose, the music that night is good, so both of us went a little overboard… somehow. I bite someone (not once, but twice) after losing a few (ermm… actually its many) “Five Ten” games, puke on the journey home, and fulfill a partial promise to a friend… Not too sure if any other thing happened, I was rather intoxicated that night. But I seriously have not had so much fun at DF for the longest time ever. =)

Woke up the following morning and got drag out for a Dim Sum Lunch at Hong Xing while I’m trying to nurse a hangover. The urge to puke at the sight of food hover all through Lunch… Finally made my way home, “concussed” for another hour on bed, Grouchy Bear dropped by to pick me up and send me to Orchard to meet QH, watched “Slamdog Millionaire” at Shaw, spent $80 on Dinner at Sun with Moon, took a train down to meet KL and her guy, had much fun with Taboo at Mind’s Café, and KL’s guy sent us back home.

A rather eventful day…

Got lazy on Sunday, but still made my way down to Suntec to meet QH as we’re trying to source for cheap airfare and accommodations for a upcoming trip to Taiwan.

It was a very hot day, and in the MRT trip down to City Hall… Saw this family that triggers a cord in my heart. A Father was in the cabin I was in with his son (around 5 yo) and daughter (around 3 yo). The little girl has a “Cash Converter” plastic bag in her hand which holds a Barbie Doll set. Through out the short journey, she was tentatively looking at the graphics at the back of the box, pointing out some little details to her brother who patiently listen to her while the Father looks at the pair with Love… A sweet dimpled smile hangs on the little girl’s face throughout the journey, and watching her… brings a smile not only to my face, but straight down to my heart.

What I see is a Loving Father who is trying his very best to provide for his children within his best ability, a Innocent Child holding a second hand toy but is brimming with happiness, a Passerby (me) overcome with Guilt for not appreciating the things I have and yet lamenting over what I do not have.

It takes moment like this to let me realized how Fortunate I am. Being the first child in the family, I never have hand-me-down items from siblings and cousins… not to mention second-hand from strangers. Growing up in a Loving Family in the Middle-Income Tier makes me overlook on the fact that how Loved and Fortunate I am. All it takes is a second-hand Barbie Doll set to bring that sweet dimpled smile gashing with pure happiness to that little girl’s face, but a Prada which cost so so so much more, cant bring that very same smile to my face. Guess its time to move a step backwards, not pursue that little luxury in life, but to seek for some meaning in life.

Anyway… back to my day. There is no other word to describe the Travel Fair other then “People Mountain People Sea”. We reached around 4pm, took a queue number… and by 6+pm, there are still… 60 queue number in front of us. We gave up eventually, and Grouchy Bear dropped by to pick us up and what follow is an unintended joy ride for more then 1 hour. From Suntec to ECP, from ECP to Marina Barrage… And eventually, we ended up at a Prata Place at Balastier. A party of 4 turned to 5, and what was intended as a short coffee break turned to a long chit chat session and I reached home at 11.30pm.

Sorting out week has not done me much good. This might be a good time, for me to take a step backwards and detach myself away. I am foreseeing a long healing period with plenty of emotion roller coasters, plenty of depression, plenty of whining, plenty of withdrawal symptoms, plenty of ermm… whatever, starting from today.

The urge to protect myself from getting hurt is strong; Differences… will always stay as differences.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Dear Bloggie,

Just like the railway track, it is always parallel. That's where the both of us are currently standing on. No matter how much we discussed on this matter now, points will never meet. Both acted out in the best intention one way or another. Even thou You never meant it to happen, but the fact that it happened is something no one can change. The deed is done and the agony inflicted on me is irreversible. I have intended to leave the case closed, but suggestion was rejected... I can understand the rationale behind the rejection, but not that I can agree with it. But still... I respect the decision.

Do not speak that I have walked away with our common pool of friends. Touch Your heart and you'll know who has been closer to them in the day to day business. I am not the one who initiated a "back away and cool down period", this is a choice that You made. It is not a glory matter even for me hence I do not go around publicizing it. Likewise, even after the story is told.. These people are Our Friends. They know Us well enough to pass judgment on the matter not based on the Happenings, but on also based on our personality and character.

The implications behind a simple act goes a long way.

Well, just my two penny worth.

Friday, February 13, 2009

亲爱的日记,

今天,是二月十三日。

明天就是情人节。我,一向超级注重节日 - 生日,圣诞,情人节。。不管是什么节日,我都喜欢大肆庆祝一番,人越多越好。

去年的情人节,我。。还是幸福的。以前的他,送了一大束玫瑰花到我的公司来。好大、好美丽的一束花。公司里所有的同事都透射着羡慕的眼光,都说我所收到的花是全公司最漂亮的。说我虚荣也好,说我白吃也好,可手里拿着那束花,我心里却洋溢着满满的爱。

事隔多时,现在的我。。又落弹一人。

以前的那个他,最近频频向我表示友好。我以客气的语气婉转的回应他,希望他知道我心的这结始终打不开,我还不能大方得跟他做朋友。五年 - 一个人可有多少五年。还真是感慨阿。。我们今年,原本应步上红地毯的。。这是我从来都没跟任何人说的,如果还在一起,今年,我们打算先注册。我。。就是佘太太了。。

现在的他,应该说。。 是我刚失去的那个他。现在心里还是揪着、揪着。来得快,去的也快。从始至终,我根本还来不及真正去认识他,这段感情就胎死腹中了。。好可惜啊。

我们两个有如天壤之别,不同的背景,不同的兴趣。。他是个大男人,常常会打趣地问我,“Be my 小女人 can bo”。。星期五晚上,我嚷嚷着要看戏,他因出过公干刚回来,累得说要回家休息。。我虽然让了步,可是礼星期天他带我去邻国洗车时,还是拉着我去排队买戏票,在我耳边说,“You wanted to see a show right?”。。他的公司在 Havelock Road,可是要是他没开会,他一定会在五点前特地大老远的绕来 Tampines 接我放工。在车上,他总是会轻轻地握着我的手。。我们在一起之前,他很有规律,每晚都会去跑步,现在他会叫我陪他一起跑,可是当我拒绝后,他会跟我说,“Then I’ll just spend the time with you… You’re my priority now”。。当我们跟他的朋友去飙车时,Half-time 时大家都会聚集一起吃宵夜,他知道我对这群朋友感到陌生,他们谈论的我都不明白,就会贴心的跟我说,“Let’s not join them, I just want to spend some time with you”。。在他朋友面前,他也没把我一人丢一边,而是把我搂在怀里,不时在我耳边轻声细语。。当我告诉他,我很喜欢 Woodlands 的 KTV,他的第一反应是, “Oh no… This means more trips up to Woodlands to pick you up”。。 还有,他临睡前所作的最后一件事 - 给我打通电话,跟我说“晚安”。不管他有多累,风雨无阻的,他都会给我这通电话。。

还有。。好多小小的细节。现在,我都只能把他收在心里。

为什么他能频频得让我动心,因为他是个大男人。。所以每当他为我做出小小的改变时,对他来收都是在跨出一大步。。这是一段不被看好的恋情,我也为此附上了庞大的代价 – 一段十九年的友情 - 不过,当我提出分手后心里的那份无奈,你们都无法理解的。因为有始之中,我的感情似乎被操纵在别人手里,你们犯的错,可是我得为此受罪。

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Dear Bloggie,

With the departure of my newly found Love last week... Decided to pamper myself a little more over the weekend. Went for a facial appointment on Saturday at 4pm, and meet QH at 5.15pm for some retail therapy. And we left Orchard at 6.30pm and make our way to ECP for a BBQ session... Within the short time frame of 1hour, we successfully walk away with a couple of big ticket items.

Once again... Our one and only shopping destination - DFS @ Scotts Walk.

This is my 2nd Prada purchase within the shortest ever time phase... And yupz, this time round the paper bag is bigger then the previous.

This was not a Love-at-first-sight like the one QH has her eye on. This is more of a practical buy which I can use from Monday to Sunday. Well, I just feel like buying something for myself to make myself feel better.

I guess, we frequent the Prada @ Scotts Walk so much that I have the male SA reconginising me and asked if I have started using my Prada Hipopo HP Strap.

The photos are not doing the bag justice. It is actually quite a sweetie.. Yupz, I do like it. Adore the way it slings comfortably on my shoulder.

Valentine's Day is round the corner... Hope those attached will have a great time with their significant half. And for those like me, its alright.. spend the day with your friends. I'll be spending the day with my girlfrewn.. and please remind me to avoid Orchard Road. I do not want to walk away with another purchase from DFS @ Scotts Walk..

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Dear Bloggie,

I'm.. just looking for a venue to vent out my depression.

I'm... out of Love again. I have no idea why a less then 1 month relationship can get me so upset. Now I can more or less understand what Bestie went through when LT left, but... this is worst. He gave me a status.

How I wished... I followed my Heart instead of following my Mind.

And... I lost my Bestie.

What a way to start 2009...
What exactly went wrong?
What have I done wrong?

I lost.. 2 very important people in my life just like this.

Do I not deserve Happiness? Why... why did I fall for this Guy of ALL guys. And why... why is it You who rob me off my Happiness.

I am extremely hurt and depress now. You happy now?

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Dear Bloggie,

I have neglected you… But too much happenings recently and I’m too tired to go through it item by item.

[1] Friendship

A close to 20 year Friendship is on the rocks. It takes 2 hands to clap; hence You are at fault too. Under comparison, it breaks my heart more then any other to be betrayed by You. I have no idea how to express out my disappointment and agony. I have to constantly suppress my anger and kept reminding myself to “Forgive and Forget” as I really do not want to lose you as a Friend. I am trying so hard, it is not helping that… You have taken a step back and appear to be so 委屈. *sigh* But You are really important to me, I have and will still continue to put in much efforts to not let the Friendship between us die. But as mentioned earlier, this will take 2 hands to clap too.

[2] Love

I got simply no idea what’s going on now. After the incident happened, I have so many negative feedbacks from everyone who comes to know about it. I feel so tired to carry on; the words from everyone kept hanging on my head. I felt so troubled. I do not know is it Me being too stubborn and am not listening to all the kind advice; or are the people around are just passing comments base on the surface information.

[3] Conclusion

I am happy now, I felt Loved.

This is also one of the reasons why… I am so angry with You. It kind of feels like… You have robbed my Happiness away from Me.

And this is also the reason why… I am so reluctant to give up.

I guess I must be silly; but whose not… when it comes to matter of the Heart. It is not helping that I am suffering from PMS the entire week, and I’m at an all time low. I know everyone’s concerned about my well-being. But let me sort it out… I am still rational enough to think and act for my own best interest.

Sunday, February 01, 2009

Dear Bloggie,

[Edited]

CNY came and went with a wink of the eye... And its the end of my 1 week holiday.

Went shopping with QH... And I seriously got no idea when did our shopping trips are now revolving at LV and Prada.. only. After we're done with DFS, we totally lack the drive to invade the regular shops... Talking about high maintainence. =p

Anyway... My new buy. =)



I always got a little something on Hipopotamus. So I was like 'I-so-going-to-get-this' when I saw this... =)

[Edited: I show my Mummy the new strap last evening. I was thinking she will start nagging about 'times-are-bad' and should save for rainning days. But instead, she told me this is so unique and cute. And after learning the price, she even told me its cheap and indeed a good buy. This Prada strap cost almost the same as my cell phone when I bought it 1 year plus back. -_-" Now... you know how did I start my Branded Collection. And I so do Love my Mummy. =)]