Its me again.
Guess what, I went without food the entire day,and I dont even feel like eating anything now.
Why is this so?
Saturday, May 28, 2005
Dear Blog,
2.38pm now. Spent the whole day at home.
Did the housework in the morning. Make clean the whole house.
Have not taken a single bite, feeling a little hungry. But then dont know how to go around to look for food, alone.
There is a creative fair. At jurong. So far. I wanted a mp3 player. I should have gone down there to buy. Dirt cheap. But then the thought of going down to Jurong, alone. *shudder*
How?
2.38pm now. Spent the whole day at home.
Did the housework in the morning. Make clean the whole house.
Have not taken a single bite, feeling a little hungry. But then dont know how to go around to look for food, alone.
There is a creative fair. At jurong. So far. I wanted a mp3 player. I should have gone down there to buy. Dirt cheap. But then the thought of going down to Jurong, alone. *shudder*
How?
Dear Blog,
Its saturday morning, time is 5.24am. I am wide awake, and I have absolutely no fucking idea why am I not in bed.
Having a bad migriane again. Wonder when will this headache thing leave me. It makes me feel so sick and xing ku.
He left me a post in out blog. Well, seems like to him its ALL my fault.
Let him think it in whatever way he wants. Our relationship doesnt seemed too healthy. Its always arguements after arguements. Worst is each of us have our own stand, each believing we have no wrong.
This is so sick. Why cant we just you know, leave happily ever after that sort of thing. Dont understand why must things turned out to be like that.
But, I still dont think its my fault. So I am NOT going to give in. You can say I am stubborn or what fuck I dont care. But then I think it will be pathetic if I am going to lose my stand.
Its saturday morning, time is 5.24am. I am wide awake, and I have absolutely no fucking idea why am I not in bed.
Having a bad migriane again. Wonder when will this headache thing leave me. It makes me feel so sick and xing ku.
He left me a post in out blog. Well, seems like to him its ALL my fault.
Let him think it in whatever way he wants. Our relationship doesnt seemed too healthy. Its always arguements after arguements. Worst is each of us have our own stand, each believing we have no wrong.
This is so sick. Why cant we just you know, leave happily ever after that sort of thing. Dont understand why must things turned out to be like that.
But, I still dont think its my fault. So I am NOT going to give in. You can say I am stubborn or what fuck I dont care. But then I think it will be pathetic if I am going to lose my stand.
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Dear Blog,
Its me again, on a Thursday evening. I am now at home. Seldom come online on weekdays evenings. So since I am already here, thought I could just drop a few lines.
After the long weekend, I ended up feeling more tired. Everyday of this week, I have difficulty in waking up. So I ended up day dreaming in the office with Qianhui, wondering how nice it would be if we can dont work and all the other nonsense.
Yesterday, xiang went to meet him Poly classmates. Well, I followed too. Which turned out to be a drastic mistake. As I felt damn out of place with his classmates, and Esther and Jere happened to be in the vincity too (this is real, I didnt get them to come down. Everything was like so co-incident and fall nicely in place...) so I ended up having dinner with Esther and Jere instead of xiang and frewns.
Around 8plus 9pm, Esther wants to make a move home. So I got nowhere to go so I called xiang and asked him if his ready to leave or what. Well, guess communication sort of break down a little here. And I sort of attitude a little and all. And I ended up going home alone. And it took to 1 half hour to get home. I was like so damn bloody tired when I get back.
Actually I am really disappointed. Disappointed in him. I felt that I am not loved. Things was like so different from the past. When we first got together, then we asked his frewns out for supper. Knowing that I felt odd and all, he actually finished up his food in record time and left the place with me. But then last evening, he rather I go home alone then to leave his frewns. I know its too much of me to ask him to leave his gathering as they have not met up for ages. But then well, this is my blog, I shall say whateve I like. And I definately dont feel the way that I used to from him.
I smsed him say I am upset (twice. I forward the same sms to him Twice.) and he didnt even reply me. And I ended up sending a 3rd sms to him, saying that he dont care about whether am I upset anot and all. Still no reply. Till 9plus 10pm, then he called me. Guess thats when his gathering ends. And I refused to pick up his call. Trying to pacify me after the gathering?
Too late man.
Things change, feelings changed. I was thinking about the matter the entire day. We are definately not like the past.
He used to give in to me for everything. I am his princess. I can say and do whatever I like and want. But now, this is not the case. He have turned out to be so petty. I have to take note of whatever I say infront of him coz I dont know which sentence will provoke him. I no longer felt like that little princess of his.
I dont like it like this. I want to be that spoilt little princess where my boyfrewn will dote on me. Well, whats the use of me saying all this now.. He will never be the xiang that I have on a crush on.
Working life really make a person change. I think I have become more subtle for him, more like his little woman. And him, he feels that coz he earns for us (actually I find this statement damn unfair. I am also working, and I self-provide for myself...) so he deserve all the tender loving care from me. Like if his tired, I am like responsible to make him feel better, or just give him the space to rest.. But then his not the only one working. I dont think that coz we are both working, then we will need to lead the boring lifestyle that adults lead.
Well, I dont want to continue on.
I hate to be 2nd, I like to be 1st.
I want to be someone's little princess where I am doted on, showered with TLC.
Not like this.
Its me again, on a Thursday evening. I am now at home. Seldom come online on weekdays evenings. So since I am already here, thought I could just drop a few lines.
After the long weekend, I ended up feeling more tired. Everyday of this week, I have difficulty in waking up. So I ended up day dreaming in the office with Qianhui, wondering how nice it would be if we can dont work and all the other nonsense.
Yesterday, xiang went to meet him Poly classmates. Well, I followed too. Which turned out to be a drastic mistake. As I felt damn out of place with his classmates, and Esther and Jere happened to be in the vincity too (this is real, I didnt get them to come down. Everything was like so co-incident and fall nicely in place...) so I ended up having dinner with Esther and Jere instead of xiang and frewns.
Around 8plus 9pm, Esther wants to make a move home. So I got nowhere to go so I called xiang and asked him if his ready to leave or what. Well, guess communication sort of break down a little here. And I sort of attitude a little and all. And I ended up going home alone. And it took to 1 half hour to get home. I was like so damn bloody tired when I get back.
Actually I am really disappointed. Disappointed in him. I felt that I am not loved. Things was like so different from the past. When we first got together, then we asked his frewns out for supper. Knowing that I felt odd and all, he actually finished up his food in record time and left the place with me. But then last evening, he rather I go home alone then to leave his frewns. I know its too much of me to ask him to leave his gathering as they have not met up for ages. But then well, this is my blog, I shall say whateve I like. And I definately dont feel the way that I used to from him.
I smsed him say I am upset (twice. I forward the same sms to him Twice.) and he didnt even reply me. And I ended up sending a 3rd sms to him, saying that he dont care about whether am I upset anot and all. Still no reply. Till 9plus 10pm, then he called me. Guess thats when his gathering ends. And I refused to pick up his call. Trying to pacify me after the gathering?
Too late man.
Things change, feelings changed. I was thinking about the matter the entire day. We are definately not like the past.
He used to give in to me for everything. I am his princess. I can say and do whatever I like and want. But now, this is not the case. He have turned out to be so petty. I have to take note of whatever I say infront of him coz I dont know which sentence will provoke him. I no longer felt like that little princess of his.
I dont like it like this. I want to be that spoilt little princess where my boyfrewn will dote on me. Well, whats the use of me saying all this now.. He will never be the xiang that I have on a crush on.
Working life really make a person change. I think I have become more subtle for him, more like his little woman. And him, he feels that coz he earns for us (actually I find this statement damn unfair. I am also working, and I self-provide for myself...) so he deserve all the tender loving care from me. Like if his tired, I am like responsible to make him feel better, or just give him the space to rest.. But then his not the only one working. I dont think that coz we are both working, then we will need to lead the boring lifestyle that adults lead.
Well, I dont want to continue on.
I hate to be 2nd, I like to be 1st.
I want to be someone's little princess where I am doted on, showered with TLC.
Not like this.
Monday, May 23, 2005
Dear Blog,
Finally after my 2 days mc break, I went back to office on saturday. Nothing much on Saturday, all the bosses didnt come in. But then it was a busy day for me after the 2 days break. So finally at 1plus, I left the office and head back home for a napnap.
Then later that evening, went down to Orchard to celebrate Huili's birthday. Quite a number of them turned up. Huili and bf, Xingwei, Emi, Michelle and bf, Clement and Amos. Had Marche at Hereen. And after that went to Sound Bar, before going to Liquid Room.
Ladies have 2 complimentary drink, while guys have 2 too. But then guys' drinks are 1 for 1. So in total, we had about 28glasses (I think is around that right?)... I had 4glasses, and that seemed a little too much for me. I didnt get drunk, but then a little tipsy.
Dances with the girls, and also with Clement. Huili's such a lovely one, she could sense that I wasnt feeling too good that night, so she kept coming over to keep mi company and all. Reallye appreciate it kae girl.
After that xiang came pick me up and went over to his house. The next morning I woke up at 7am and after a quick shower, he sent me back home for a change of clothes. Had to go down to Morris Allen at Bishan. Really regret agreeing to help Huiyu out as i was really tired after clubbing the night before. But then I still make it ontime at 8.30am. Spent my whole Sunday there with Huiyu, then xiang came pick me up.
After that went down to Tampines. Xiang bought a new hp the on saturday. And it turned out to be a faulty set. Starhub and Nokia refused to change a new set for us, saying that we can set it for repair FOC. Then I made fuss at Starhub, I thnk its really damn stupid. Starhub sold us a faulty set, and now we the unfortunate one who get the faulty set which the QC didnt manage to checked it. And when we demanded for a new set, they said its against their policy. And we have to send it in for repair. The hp is only 2 days old and you want me to send it in for repair. How do you think i can accpet it??
Anyway, I reach home at 7pm, and I slept till 10am. Really tired..
Its back to the office tomorrow, well dont have much choice...
Finally after my 2 days mc break, I went back to office on saturday. Nothing much on Saturday, all the bosses didnt come in. But then it was a busy day for me after the 2 days break. So finally at 1plus, I left the office and head back home for a napnap.
Then later that evening, went down to Orchard to celebrate Huili's birthday. Quite a number of them turned up. Huili and bf, Xingwei, Emi, Michelle and bf, Clement and Amos. Had Marche at Hereen. And after that went to Sound Bar, before going to Liquid Room.
Ladies have 2 complimentary drink, while guys have 2 too. But then guys' drinks are 1 for 1. So in total, we had about 28glasses (I think is around that right?)... I had 4glasses, and that seemed a little too much for me. I didnt get drunk, but then a little tipsy.
Dances with the girls, and also with Clement. Huili's such a lovely one, she could sense that I wasnt feeling too good that night, so she kept coming over to keep mi company and all. Reallye appreciate it kae girl.
After that xiang came pick me up and went over to his house. The next morning I woke up at 7am and after a quick shower, he sent me back home for a change of clothes. Had to go down to Morris Allen at Bishan. Really regret agreeing to help Huiyu out as i was really tired after clubbing the night before. But then I still make it ontime at 8.30am. Spent my whole Sunday there with Huiyu, then xiang came pick me up.
After that went down to Tampines. Xiang bought a new hp the on saturday. And it turned out to be a faulty set. Starhub and Nokia refused to change a new set for us, saying that we can set it for repair FOC. Then I made fuss at Starhub, I thnk its really damn stupid. Starhub sold us a faulty set, and now we the unfortunate one who get the faulty set which the QC didnt manage to checked it. And when we demanded for a new set, they said its against their policy. And we have to send it in for repair. The hp is only 2 days old and you want me to send it in for repair. How do you think i can accpet it??
Anyway, I reach home at 7pm, and I slept till 10am. Really tired..
Its back to the office tomorrow, well dont have much choice...
Friday, May 20, 2005
Dear Blog,
I am sick.
Seriously sick. On MC for 2 days, yesterday and today.
Feeling so so so bad, Wednesday night after going ktv with Heng², I already know that I will be on MC on Thursday coz I was like sneezing throughout the entire ktv trip. And my throat, sang half-way then no voice cme out. But then what I didnt expect is that fever will come knocking on my doorstep.
So I didnt sleep well on Wednesday night, coz the fever is keeping me awake. And finally yesterday morning, my whole body was aching all over. Hard to really describe, but then just imagine my bones and muscle aching away. Couldnt sit or stand. Every position seemed to make me feel worst. And I ended calling xiang crying away. And, he came over to my place to bring me to see a doctor.
So nice of my Dear² right. I sick then he also didnt go work, so as to take care of me. I really appreciate it. And he also bought me a book to read toady, just in case I got bored at home.
So anyway, I really struggle to the clinic, coz I was aching all over and was feeling so weak that I could hardly walk.
Well, just to conclude, I am sick, and seriously sick. Down with fever, flu, sore throat and was aching all over. And I am still at home now, resting.
Sick...
I am sick.
Seriously sick. On MC for 2 days, yesterday and today.
Feeling so so so bad, Wednesday night after going ktv with Heng², I already know that I will be on MC on Thursday coz I was like sneezing throughout the entire ktv trip. And my throat, sang half-way then no voice cme out. But then what I didnt expect is that fever will come knocking on my doorstep.
So I didnt sleep well on Wednesday night, coz the fever is keeping me awake. And finally yesterday morning, my whole body was aching all over. Hard to really describe, but then just imagine my bones and muscle aching away. Couldnt sit or stand. Every position seemed to make me feel worst. And I ended calling xiang crying away. And, he came over to my place to bring me to see a doctor.
So nice of my Dear² right. I sick then he also didnt go work, so as to take care of me. I really appreciate it. And he also bought me a book to read toady, just in case I got bored at home.
So anyway, I really struggle to the clinic, coz I was aching all over and was feeling so weak that I could hardly walk.
Well, just to conclude, I am sick, and seriously sick. Down with fever, flu, sore throat and was aching all over. And I am still at home now, resting.
Sick...
Monday, May 16, 2005
Dear Blog,
Thursday, May 12, 2005
And I think I missed out one important piece of information. Did I mentioned that Huiyu said that I look very cute in my new hair cut??
She said she couldnt regconise me when she first saw me. But then no doubt, she still says I look very nice, and of coz, cute. Hehe~*
Note: Actually no matter how ugly it is, Huiyu will always say i look nice. She alaways gave me such flattering comments.... Thats why I Love her!! Haha~* Kidding.
She said she couldnt regconise me when she first saw me. But then no doubt, she still says I look very nice, and of coz, cute. Hehe~*
Note: Actually no matter how ugly it is, Huiyu will always say i look nice. She alaways gave me such flattering comments.... Thats why I Love her!! Haha~* Kidding.
Dear Blog,
Its 12th May today. It’s been a month since I last blog. Partly due to my busy schedule, and also partly coz the network at my office was down, thus depriving me of the chance to blog in the office.
Last week, was really a hectic week. Cant really what major thing actually happened, but then after so long, I went back to Morris Allen on Sunday to relieve the full-timers who couldn’t make it on that day.
8th May, it’s actually Mother’s Day. The day started off raining, really a perfect day to sleep in and not to work. But then I didn’t have a choice, so I head down to Morris Allen with a heavy heart.
I work with a guy named Junhao that day. Seems like his girlfriend is working with Huiyu at Bishan. Well, seems like there’s a rumor going on after I left Morris (Well, I heard this from Huiyu when I called her to chit chat while we were both working on Sunday…) Apparently, Rick (the full time staff that I worked with while I was at Woodlands) start to tell everyone that he sort of likes me and have a crash on me and was like really upset that I had left.
So Junhao’s girlfriend who also have come to know of this rumor, ask Huiyu early Sunday morning if I am a pretty girl. And Huiyu, she also damn one kind. She actually told her,”Yar, Angeline’s a pretty girl. And very adorable…”... So that girl got damn paranoid, and called the centre every other 20min to check out his guy...
I am really innocent of the whole matter. I am not interested, let me stressed on it, NOT INTERESTED!!! In younger guys and Junhao was 3 years my junior… And, I love my Xiang.
Well, the day passed, and I earned my 60bucks just like that. Xiang came picked me up and we went Bishan for dinner. I had my all-time-favorite Cabonara at Pasta Mania, and we walked around then he sends me home. And I bought a new cream color skirt, and I collected the Project Shop bag that I sent for repair (finally after 2months and they called me at least 3 times…).
Actually this week passes kind of fast I think. It’s already Thursday. Yesterday I meet up with Huiyu, to have a dinner. Actually we planned to have a ktv session, but then on Sunday, we decided to change it to a dinner instead. Coz I think we simply have too much to talk about, and going to a ktv does not serve the purpose...
So we went to Sakae Sushi at Hereen. And indeed we talked and talked till 9pm then we went home. Her birthday is this coming Saturday. I got her a pair of earrings, and another pair for Huimin (they are twins in case you are wondering...) Dinner was very cheap as Sakae’s having those 1-for1 Bento’s set deals for Visa Mini.. That ended my Thursday night. And wasn’t I a happy girl to see my girl... I really missed her soo soo soo much.
Today is Thursday. And as per the horoscope, other then my Money Luck (4stars). My work and every other aspect only have 2 stars (which in my opinion mean it’s a very bad day for me overall...) and as true as it can be, today is really not a good day for me.
I don’t really want to go into details, but then I really hate this fucking bitch at my office. I really don’t wish to be using vulgarities; I also want to be a lady. But then at times it’s really no easy when such people are around. I am playing with the idea of resigning coz her. But then, I will not be as stupid as to tender coz her. It’s like falling into her nasty trap if I do so right? It’s a long story about this fucking bitch. If you are interested in the entire story, or even not the entire but part of, I will be more then glad to share it with you if you give me a call and ask me more..
Well, think I don’t have much more to update. Unless you want a book review of the current book I am reading, or to find out more about the Bangkok trip that I am planning to go at the end of June.
Maybe the next blog, I shall tell you more about the book I am reading (The Diary of a Manhattan Call Girl) and maybe also the Bangkok trip.
Till then, you take care….
Its 12th May today. It’s been a month since I last blog. Partly due to my busy schedule, and also partly coz the network at my office was down, thus depriving me of the chance to blog in the office.
Last week, was really a hectic week. Cant really what major thing actually happened, but then after so long, I went back to Morris Allen on Sunday to relieve the full-timers who couldn’t make it on that day.
8th May, it’s actually Mother’s Day. The day started off raining, really a perfect day to sleep in and not to work. But then I didn’t have a choice, so I head down to Morris Allen with a heavy heart.
I work with a guy named Junhao that day. Seems like his girlfriend is working with Huiyu at Bishan. Well, seems like there’s a rumor going on after I left Morris (Well, I heard this from Huiyu when I called her to chit chat while we were both working on Sunday…) Apparently, Rick (the full time staff that I worked with while I was at Woodlands) start to tell everyone that he sort of likes me and have a crash on me and was like really upset that I had left.
So Junhao’s girlfriend who also have come to know of this rumor, ask Huiyu early Sunday morning if I am a pretty girl. And Huiyu, she also damn one kind. She actually told her,”Yar, Angeline’s a pretty girl. And very adorable…”... So that girl got damn paranoid, and called the centre every other 20min to check out his guy...
I am really innocent of the whole matter. I am not interested, let me stressed on it, NOT INTERESTED!!! In younger guys and Junhao was 3 years my junior… And, I love my Xiang.
Well, the day passed, and I earned my 60bucks just like that. Xiang came picked me up and we went Bishan for dinner. I had my all-time-favorite Cabonara at Pasta Mania, and we walked around then he sends me home. And I bought a new cream color skirt, and I collected the Project Shop bag that I sent for repair (finally after 2months and they called me at least 3 times…).
Actually this week passes kind of fast I think. It’s already Thursday. Yesterday I meet up with Huiyu, to have a dinner. Actually we planned to have a ktv session, but then on Sunday, we decided to change it to a dinner instead. Coz I think we simply have too much to talk about, and going to a ktv does not serve the purpose...
So we went to Sakae Sushi at Hereen. And indeed we talked and talked till 9pm then we went home. Her birthday is this coming Saturday. I got her a pair of earrings, and another pair for Huimin (they are twins in case you are wondering...) Dinner was very cheap as Sakae’s having those 1-for1 Bento’s set deals for Visa Mini.. That ended my Thursday night. And wasn’t I a happy girl to see my girl... I really missed her soo soo soo much.
Today is Thursday. And as per the horoscope, other then my Money Luck (4stars). My work and every other aspect only have 2 stars (which in my opinion mean it’s a very bad day for me overall...) and as true as it can be, today is really not a good day for me.
I don’t really want to go into details, but then I really hate this fucking bitch at my office. I really don’t wish to be using vulgarities; I also want to be a lady. But then at times it’s really no easy when such people are around. I am playing with the idea of resigning coz her. But then, I will not be as stupid as to tender coz her. It’s like falling into her nasty trap if I do so right? It’s a long story about this fucking bitch. If you are interested in the entire story, or even not the entire but part of, I will be more then glad to share it with you if you give me a call and ask me more..
Well, think I don’t have much more to update. Unless you want a book review of the current book I am reading, or to find out more about the Bangkok trip that I am planning to go at the end of June.
Maybe the next blog, I shall tell you more about the book I am reading (The Diary of a Manhattan Call Girl) and maybe also the Bangkok trip.
Till then, you take care….
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Dear Blog,
At home now.. Another warm day. Thou the weather forecast said it will rain today, but then my area shows no signs of raindrops.
Another busy day in the office. Time just fly passed like that, didnt really accomplish much work. Feeling tired today coz I slept late last night. Talked to Xiang on the phone till 1am last night. Wonder when's the last time we chatted on the phone till late night.
Yesterday saw Huiyu online. I will be meeting her next Wednesday. To the KTV. Missed the days where we will go to KTv after work. There is still this time where Kenny sent us to Cuppage on his Audi TT. That was the first time I went on a Audi TT, and the feeling was so great.
I am actually thinking if going to the KTv is a good choice after all, coz I guess the both of use will have lots to catch up. Cant express how much I miss her. Huiyu, its not like Andrea, Qian or even Huili or Esther, we didnt meet in school. We met at work. So unlike the others, our friendship came about in a very unique way. Its though all the constant encouragement and support to each other, the backing up to each other, crying and comforting each other in the toilet that bought us together.
And she's really one special girl, whom I know treats me sincerely from the bottom of her heart. Really wanting the best for me, taking care and encouring me in all. I mean generally accross the board, all my friends are you know, good. But then she's really different.
A gentle and sweet girl. Clever and intelligent. Always giving and never asking for return. Sensitive and and caring. Sounds too good to be truth right? But then trust me, there's really still such a girl around.
Thou I dont meet up with her often, but then I really treasure her.
Love you girl.
Note: Such a perfect girl, of coz she's taken.. So no more chance guys.
At home now.. Another warm day. Thou the weather forecast said it will rain today, but then my area shows no signs of raindrops.
Another busy day in the office. Time just fly passed like that, didnt really accomplish much work. Feeling tired today coz I slept late last night. Talked to Xiang on the phone till 1am last night. Wonder when's the last time we chatted on the phone till late night.
Yesterday saw Huiyu online. I will be meeting her next Wednesday. To the KTV. Missed the days where we will go to KTv after work. There is still this time where Kenny sent us to Cuppage on his Audi TT. That was the first time I went on a Audi TT, and the feeling was so great.
I am actually thinking if going to the KTv is a good choice after all, coz I guess the both of use will have lots to catch up. Cant express how much I miss her. Huiyu, its not like Andrea, Qian or even Huili or Esther, we didnt meet in school. We met at work. So unlike the others, our friendship came about in a very unique way. Its though all the constant encouragement and support to each other, the backing up to each other, crying and comforting each other in the toilet that bought us together.
And she's really one special girl, whom I know treats me sincerely from the bottom of her heart. Really wanting the best for me, taking care and encouring me in all. I mean generally accross the board, all my friends are you know, good. But then she's really different.
A gentle and sweet girl. Clever and intelligent. Always giving and never asking for return. Sensitive and and caring. Sounds too good to be truth right? But then trust me, there's really still such a girl around.
Thou I dont meet up with her often, but then I really treasure her.
Love you girl.
Note: Such a perfect girl, of coz she's taken.. So no more chance guys.
Sunday, May 01, 2005
Dear Blog,
The time now is 3.21am. 1st of May, a brand new begining of a brand new month. I woke up suddenly and couldnt get back to sleep. So on my comp and see could I do online. Apparently nothing much...
Suddenly thought of an incident that happened years back....
When I was in Secondary One, I got to know this guy named V from one of those online chat (I think its Alamk Chat. mIRC wasnt even popular back then.. ICQ and MSN wasnt even invented..)
V was 2 years my senior. My first impression of him was like so-so only. So after we got to know each other from the net, we started talking on the phone. Secondary One. I was like still so young and green. Still irgnorant to all those love and relationship stuff. Stuff we talked about mainly revolves around my school work and my friends.
V was a very supportive guy I would say. I am Leo, the dominating creature. I will always like to give my comments on everything and be the center of evey topic. He would always patiently be listenly to me at the end of the other line. Why did I say his supportive is coz, regardless how unreasonble I am, or the person with fault is me, he will always have something nice and comforting to console me, and in the meanwhile leting me know its not correct.
Be it an arguement with Andrea, or some new happenings in school I will always like to share it with him. And slowly as I went on to Seconday Two, it went on to the first guy I like. How my best friend took him away just like that right in front of me. And when I faced problems in my school work, he is always more then willing to teach me. Thou difficult as its though the phone line, but then he will still patiently listen to Question after Question, solving it.
But, till then I have always, Always treated him as a friend.
When I was in Secondary Three, I realised I was talking lesser and lesser to V. My circle of friend enlarged. More and more interesting guys appeared around me. V was an introvert, the quiet and listening type. He would never have called me if I didnt make the first move. He always gives me the feeling that he is always patiently waiting at the other line should I need him...
His always supportive in very decision I made. Like when I wanted to go for the 7 Day Walk Around Singapore organised by the Girl Guides, Andrea and Qian all told me a 'Xiao Jie' like me can't make it thou they were still encouraging enough. Well, actually another important factor that was stopping me is I was never a vivid Guides back in Secondary School. So I hardly know my fellow Guides. Its just like spending the total 7 Days with strangers while fighting with my will-power to go on. But in the end, I went. And I am glad I went. He told me that this is a 'once in a life time' event. Miss it and its gone. Giving me all the pros of going, and telling me that I can get through all cons... I am a wishy washy person. At times I know what decision I want to make, which path I want to take. But then I need this little 'push' and encouragements from people, to tell me that I am making the correct decisions.
By March when I was in Secondary Three, V recieved his 'O' Levels Results. Sadly to say, he didnt really get the results he was hoping for. But he still made it into NYP.
Time flies, as he entered Poly our phone calls lessen. I couldnt remember is he the one who didnt stop by to say Hi, or am I the one who ease it as more and more people gets into my life.
When I started out Secondary Four, I had my first boyfriend. Thou this relationship didnt last very long. But I can still remember happily sharing the news with him. And when the relationship ended, i called him crying my heart out. His a friend that Andrea and Qian, and I think even Ade didnt know I have. Coz his a confiding partner I have back then. I know I can show him the down side of me to him without having to hide anything. I actually felt comfortable showing him the unglam side of me and my life. I know he will not laugh or tease me, and will not belittle stuff that are important to me. So I comfortably share every piece of news, regardless big or small with him.
I am a early 80s baby. So the early 80s babies will all be carrying a pager back in Secondary School. Pager was like an must have item for every Seconday School kid. The handphone era have not arrived. And the must have pagers was an alpha-numeric pager (like memo-jazz) and it must come with a voicemail box.
So with a pager, everyone will have a pager-code. Namely its the code to identify yourself when you page your friend. Like when I need to get Qian urgently, I will put 37-999. This means she have to call 37 (which is my pager-code) back urgently.
And for the voice mail box, you will need to enter in a password to access your own voice mail box. I think, please correct me if I am wrong. 'UU' will appear on your pager to alart you when there is a new voice message. Till now I still dont understand why is it 'UU'.
And one fine day, the sun is bright and gay, and the birds are chirping away.... Okie, wrong development of story. Who is interested in the sun and birds. Anyway, I've got a voice message. And me, loves myself too much as to puting '5137' as my password. Just in case you have no idea why is it '5137', its coz 37 represents me. And '51' means 'I Love'. I know this looks lame now. But then in a era where handphones are not common, pagers are everything a school kids have. So there are codes like '532' and '1-177155-17' which stands for 'I Miss You'.
Okie, back to my story. So as I was saying, I have a voice message. So I happily dailed the Pager Number, and skipped the greeting message that I recoreded as I have heard it at least a hundred times if not more. The system prompt for my password, and I punched in '5-1-3-7' on the telephone pad. Okie, the password is correct, but after listening to the voice message, I realised that its not correct.
This is my my message that I was listening to. Its a girl who left a message, and its not to me, but then to V. I got a total shock of my life, and checked my redialed button. So in a moment of familarity and hurry, I punched in V's Pager Number instead of mine. But what surprised me even more is, his password.
The events that followed is a blur to me. I vaguely remember calling him immediately and asking him, and he was actually pretty upset that I found out. Coz he rather this be a little secret never to be found out as he feared the outcome.
Sound kind of kiddy right, but then I was actually feeling overwhelmed. If you are hoping for an happily- ever-after ending, I will have to disappoint you. As this never happens. He didnt really persue me aggresively after that, the courtship was pretty mild. And the fact that I have treated him as a very good friend even puts me further away. Its like he knows so much about me. Its more then my likes and dislike and stuff like that. He knows of my first crush, and how it ended. He knows who first held my hand, and the details between us. I really couldnt bear it. Its a friend I had since Secondary One. A Friend. How could a relationship sparkle off? I got no idea.
And thus, knowing me too well. He knows my intentions. As thou trying to respect it, he also further himself away from me. As if trying to make it easier for me. Its only when his gone, I start to appreciate his pressence. Human beings are always like that. Only being able to appreciate after its gone. But, I was uncertain of my own feelings, not sure if this is what I want. And also fear that the begining of our relationship might be the end of our friendship.
Thou V is a friend that I deeply treasure, but then we cut-down on all contacts after that. I couldnt bring myself to tell him too much of myself after that. In fear that certain details might hurt him. Like after I graduate from Secondary School, I got a new guy holding my hand. But then his still concern like calling me asking me how did I fare for my 'O' Levels and helped me think of what courses to choose, telling me the pros and cons and stuff like that..
As time goes on, we didnt exactly contact each other. I cut off my pager line and went on the handphone era. And moved from my granny house back to my own house. I didnt leave my new contact with him. And just like that, we lost contact.
Sad, maybe a little. But then Happy, as I can look back in my life, seeing V leaving footsteps in my heart, once upon a time.
The time now is 3.21am. 1st of May, a brand new begining of a brand new month. I woke up suddenly and couldnt get back to sleep. So on my comp and see could I do online. Apparently nothing much...
Suddenly thought of an incident that happened years back....
When I was in Secondary One, I got to know this guy named V from one of those online chat (I think its Alamk Chat. mIRC wasnt even popular back then.. ICQ and MSN wasnt even invented..)
V was 2 years my senior. My first impression of him was like so-so only. So after we got to know each other from the net, we started talking on the phone. Secondary One. I was like still so young and green. Still irgnorant to all those love and relationship stuff. Stuff we talked about mainly revolves around my school work and my friends.
V was a very supportive guy I would say. I am Leo, the dominating creature. I will always like to give my comments on everything and be the center of evey topic. He would always patiently be listenly to me at the end of the other line. Why did I say his supportive is coz, regardless how unreasonble I am, or the person with fault is me, he will always have something nice and comforting to console me, and in the meanwhile leting me know its not correct.
Be it an arguement with Andrea, or some new happenings in school I will always like to share it with him. And slowly as I went on to Seconday Two, it went on to the first guy I like. How my best friend took him away just like that right in front of me. And when I faced problems in my school work, he is always more then willing to teach me. Thou difficult as its though the phone line, but then he will still patiently listen to Question after Question, solving it.
But, till then I have always, Always treated him as a friend.
When I was in Secondary Three, I realised I was talking lesser and lesser to V. My circle of friend enlarged. More and more interesting guys appeared around me. V was an introvert, the quiet and listening type. He would never have called me if I didnt make the first move. He always gives me the feeling that he is always patiently waiting at the other line should I need him...
His always supportive in very decision I made. Like when I wanted to go for the 7 Day Walk Around Singapore organised by the Girl Guides, Andrea and Qian all told me a 'Xiao Jie' like me can't make it thou they were still encouraging enough. Well, actually another important factor that was stopping me is I was never a vivid Guides back in Secondary School. So I hardly know my fellow Guides. Its just like spending the total 7 Days with strangers while fighting with my will-power to go on. But in the end, I went. And I am glad I went. He told me that this is a 'once in a life time' event. Miss it and its gone. Giving me all the pros of going, and telling me that I can get through all cons... I am a wishy washy person. At times I know what decision I want to make, which path I want to take. But then I need this little 'push' and encouragements from people, to tell me that I am making the correct decisions.
By March when I was in Secondary Three, V recieved his 'O' Levels Results. Sadly to say, he didnt really get the results he was hoping for. But he still made it into NYP.
Time flies, as he entered Poly our phone calls lessen. I couldnt remember is he the one who didnt stop by to say Hi, or am I the one who ease it as more and more people gets into my life.
When I started out Secondary Four, I had my first boyfriend. Thou this relationship didnt last very long. But I can still remember happily sharing the news with him. And when the relationship ended, i called him crying my heart out. His a friend that Andrea and Qian, and I think even Ade didnt know I have. Coz his a confiding partner I have back then. I know I can show him the down side of me to him without having to hide anything. I actually felt comfortable showing him the unglam side of me and my life. I know he will not laugh or tease me, and will not belittle stuff that are important to me. So I comfortably share every piece of news, regardless big or small with him.
I am a early 80s baby. So the early 80s babies will all be carrying a pager back in Secondary School. Pager was like an must have item for every Seconday School kid. The handphone era have not arrived. And the must have pagers was an alpha-numeric pager (like memo-jazz) and it must come with a voicemail box.
So with a pager, everyone will have a pager-code. Namely its the code to identify yourself when you page your friend. Like when I need to get Qian urgently, I will put 37-999. This means she have to call 37 (which is my pager-code) back urgently.
And for the voice mail box, you will need to enter in a password to access your own voice mail box. I think, please correct me if I am wrong. 'UU' will appear on your pager to alart you when there is a new voice message. Till now I still dont understand why is it 'UU'.
And one fine day, the sun is bright and gay, and the birds are chirping away.... Okie, wrong development of story. Who is interested in the sun and birds. Anyway, I've got a voice message. And me, loves myself too much as to puting '5137' as my password. Just in case you have no idea why is it '5137', its coz 37 represents me. And '51' means 'I Love'. I know this looks lame now. But then in a era where handphones are not common, pagers are everything a school kids have. So there are codes like '532' and '1-177155-17' which stands for 'I Miss You'.
Okie, back to my story. So as I was saying, I have a voice message. So I happily dailed the Pager Number, and skipped the greeting message that I recoreded as I have heard it at least a hundred times if not more. The system prompt for my password, and I punched in '5-1-3-7' on the telephone pad. Okie, the password is correct, but after listening to the voice message, I realised that its not correct.
This is my my message that I was listening to. Its a girl who left a message, and its not to me, but then to V. I got a total shock of my life, and checked my redialed button. So in a moment of familarity and hurry, I punched in V's Pager Number instead of mine. But what surprised me even more is, his password.
The events that followed is a blur to me. I vaguely remember calling him immediately and asking him, and he was actually pretty upset that I found out. Coz he rather this be a little secret never to be found out as he feared the outcome.
Sound kind of kiddy right, but then I was actually feeling overwhelmed. If you are hoping for an happily- ever-after ending, I will have to disappoint you. As this never happens. He didnt really persue me aggresively after that, the courtship was pretty mild. And the fact that I have treated him as a very good friend even puts me further away. Its like he knows so much about me. Its more then my likes and dislike and stuff like that. He knows of my first crush, and how it ended. He knows who first held my hand, and the details between us. I really couldnt bear it. Its a friend I had since Secondary One. A Friend. How could a relationship sparkle off? I got no idea.
And thus, knowing me too well. He knows my intentions. As thou trying to respect it, he also further himself away from me. As if trying to make it easier for me. Its only when his gone, I start to appreciate his pressence. Human beings are always like that. Only being able to appreciate after its gone. But, I was uncertain of my own feelings, not sure if this is what I want. And also fear that the begining of our relationship might be the end of our friendship.
Thou V is a friend that I deeply treasure, but then we cut-down on all contacts after that. I couldnt bring myself to tell him too much of myself after that. In fear that certain details might hurt him. Like after I graduate from Secondary School, I got a new guy holding my hand. But then his still concern like calling me asking me how did I fare for my 'O' Levels and helped me think of what courses to choose, telling me the pros and cons and stuff like that..
As time goes on, we didnt exactly contact each other. I cut off my pager line and went on the handphone era. And moved from my granny house back to my own house. I didnt leave my new contact with him. And just like that, we lost contact.
Sad, maybe a little. But then Happy, as I can look back in my life, seeing V leaving footsteps in my heart, once upon a time.
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